Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Marriage proposal


Asslamu alaikum

I will try and be as brief as I can.

A week ago I got a marriage proposal where I met the guy and we had a chat for nearly one hour. My family and myself are happy with the guy as he comes from a good family. The guy was decent a little on the shy side which didn't bother me. He was honest about namaz and said he does pray but sometimes misses his namaz. He wanted to get to get to know me better and hence we exchanged numbers. He would not chat that often and I don't know if that I something I should worry about. He would reply and disappear hours on end which I found strange.

After a week we arranged a second meeting and just a few hours before I was to meet him I got some news that I should forget about this guy as he has a past and bad habits. Overall the guy is great with a good personality however he has bad habits which I was not given any information about. I still went ahead with the second meeting and I asked him everything. He was honest to me about everything about his past relationships with two girls and he mentioned he went night clubs when he was in his teen years but he didn't do anything wrong like he didn't drink and he hasn't been clubbing since then.

I don't know who to believe I don't know what is right or wrong. He mentioned he wants to change and he wants someone that will push him in the right direction. I have no idea what to do. I have done istikhara but my heart doesn't want to believe what I have heard about him. I feel it might not be true. Or it could be true. Only Allah knows. Please could you guide me as to what the best decision would be.



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4 Responses »

  1. Salam,

    He needs himself to be the person that pushes him. If it's you then he will get pushed in the right direction as long as your marriage is good, when you two start getting more bored with each other the urge to go back to night clubs is going to start to get high.

    I recommend moving on to the next suitor.

  2. I agree with Me, the desire to change has to come from within him; marriage or no marriage.
    If he is no longer seeing any girls or clubbing and last indulged himself many years ago, he is probably over it and there is no point in judging him on it.
    However, lack of connectivity? Why? Does
    he have a hectic schedule of work and studies? If no, then he is probably intimidated by you or is not comfortable with you.
    Again, I agree with Me. You do have your doubts about him, your instinct is signalling you. It is a good idea to let him go.

  3. Go with what your heart is feeling. It may be a sign why he is connecting with you. Change comes within. What if he doesn't like the level of your practises, what if it's too strict for him then you can run into problems.

  4. Sister keeping doing istahra allah swt will guide u in sha allah you can read the ishtara everday in the morning you wake up please trust allah swt 100% he slways wdth u allah will help u may allah swt guide you snd your family to the right path ameen sum ameen yabi alameen

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