Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Marriage with a sick person

Dua Against Illness

Prophetic Dua Against Illness

Asalam o alaikum warehmatulAllah!

I have a long issue to discuss its regarding my friend. Will talk to you as if she say this as she is having tense situation these days so she is not in a position. So I thought to help her like this.

"I was a student and need help in my task so I found a person on internet. I have never talked to any male like that even for help. I talked to him in a good and reserved way and he treated me like a sister. He agreed for help. But during that time he told me about his illness and health. He was working and helping side by side in my work with his own work and told the position of work as well.

One day he told he had to have an operation and I said ok. I don't know the severity of his health but after he came back I send him duaas etc for recovery. He said thanks. He felt good and started telling every thing of his life, like his family (father, mother) his student life, job, etc.

I don't know how my feelings changed and I started liking him. He was a good person never crossed his limits and always telling me the realities and hardships of life by considering me his sister. But here I was concerned with my work as well as got interest in him. He scolded me as well for not knowing about the outside environment that people are not good and I must be careful. He used to give me advice to not to do any job at office only do teaching, etc and every time matches me with his sister. I was impressed with all this acts.

So I finally decided to tell him my feelings. He was surprised as well as happy and sad that he is sick and recently got surgery and his time period of life has increased but the germ will never be finished from his body. The disease is like this. But along with this he said that he will know me who I am by judging me if I am saying truth or making a joke of him (as I can understand that on internet a lot of things are fake). I said ok. After some days he said me to change my picture on net, I changed. It was the the part of his judgement that I listen to him or not. Then again he said me to do so I said that after istakhara. Actually he was checking me and it was a mistake that old picture sets again on net. He was equivalent in all aspects to me education job family but left with health issue. He left everything on me like do istakhara and do what you see in it. I did istakhara then for 7 times.

For the first 3 days: 1st day - white copy something written on it with brown ink - light brown. 2nd day was seeing me in mirror and applying lipstick i was thinking that it should be red but was not red it was brown in colour. 3rd day was a random dream like this............. After 3 days I told him that nothing is clear and now doing for 7 days, he said ok.

Then on 4th day I saw a white drink like milk having some black tiny pieces of eating stuff in it. Then my brother was crying, I gave him this he become happy. Then 5th day I saw a girl wearing dark brownish maroonish shirt going inside home and spraying in her feet the coackroaches that before entering home her feet gets clear.(Actually she's living a happy married life with her husband). Then suddenly that spray come in my hands then I sprayed on my feet a group of dark brown coackroaches were there, I almost killed them with spray. They were like killed and drowned in spray. I come back to home safely like and had white copy making something with gray on it. Then 6th day I saw myself wearing white t shirt and green trouser like armed forces. and was seeing the green jacket which I can't get. Then 7th day I saw that big white eyes were observing me like he was observing me and he is snatching a picture from me and was angry - the picture was round in shape and blue in colour and was a bit damaged means its plastic.

I woke up with fear and I saw his message that he rejected me. BECAUSE the old picture was set again for which he was checking me. I cleared him all that thing that it was by mistake. He LISTENED to me and agreed but he was worried that my parents do not agree. I was worried too.

So finally he left me in a good way and sorry by saying that he has the disease - any miracle can happen but he's not sure and his life is not strong. We had a contact for the period of almost half year. Only 15 days for this marriage conversation, the other time for work conversation.

Now I have left that work as it feels pain again to work on it.

Now my question is what is the reality of my istakhara? Should I follow this or see the reality of disease or follow my parents? My parents don't know anything but I know if they come to know they do not agree. Help me what to do. I want to move according to Allah will but dont know what my istakhaara means - help me for the sake of Allah Almighty."

This is all from her behalf. Kindly resolve this issue in the light of Islam.

Thank you.


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5 Responses »

  1. istekhara all things are the later issues you should have asked him to send his parents first.
    and the dreams are the indications he may bring disrespect to you, so please don't try to make yourself dirty .

    and again he was not serious with you when he found out you are getting serious he could nt say NO instead he made an excuse coz its also your mistake you were too clingy and that marriage and love was only your sole interest, he may like you but the scenario you are telling he was never interested in marriage and you were indirectly forcing him to marry you

  2. This all sounds a little immature and strange. Your thinking about marrying a random guy from the Internet. If your genuinely interested in him then you need to do things the correct way. Get your parents involved so that they can find out more about this guy. You also need to know exactly what his illness is, and make an informed decision about whether that's something you can live with. You sound naive With re: to marriage. My thoughts would be to stop chatting to him and move on. Or if your adamant on marrying him then talk to your parents.

  3. Dear sister
    You need to stay away from this man, he has many things to hide from you, and his not honest person.
    These dreams you are having are telling you his no good, this man sounds like a creep.
    Why are you wasting your time with someone who will use and abuse you? Why do most women fall in love so quick without thinking?
    Get your parents involved or someone who can investigate who this man really is and whether his lying to you or not about his illness.
    This Internet communications mostly ends up in nothing but tremendous pain, nothing comes of it.
    If you have dicovered this man illness after you making the first move on him, then that means his not interested in you in that way and is only looking at you as a friend or possibly an Internet girlfriend where you can share pics of each other and nothing else. Do you want to be damaged through the Internet? The game you and him are playing is definitely leading that way, nothing but exposure.

    Be sensible and grow up, lots of lives have been destroyed through the net, let it not be yours.
    Take care sister and move on please.

  4. Asalam alaikum
    Am 25 years old man, want to married my cousin as my grandfather to my mother side agrees. He(my grandfather) had told my uncle about his desire for me to married his granddaughter, but as for my grandfather to my father side says No .
    His reason is that he made a istikhfar an found out that my cousin has a sickness.. And that when I married her,I will die sooner.
    Now my question is : what should I do,when my uncle already promise for me to married his daughter,and whereas my grandfather to my father opposed it. Which of cause I to married my cousin..???
    Please I need you help.
    Am in the state of dilemma

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