Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Marriage without Parents consent is allowed?

woman refusing, woman saying noSalam Dear Brothers and Sisters,

I would like to marry a girl from different country. Inspite of both of us being good Muslims, her parents reject the idea of marriage from someone outside their community. Now she is stuck with her parents as she wont agree for a forced marriage and her parents wont marry her to me. Her age is 30 now and her parents would just not change their minds.

Is this not a sin? Are her parents being 'Good parents' thinking of her betterment and her good future or are they just being egoistic and stubborn?

Would appreciate if any one can guide on what we can do? Or can give me direct hadith and quranic quotations that allows her to get married by her own choice and without the consent of her parents?


- aali

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3 Responses »

  1. Dear brother Aali,

    Well, I believe there is more to the story than you say. For example, if you two met on the internet, I can see why they would say 'no'. How is it exactly that you met this woman? Often times, parents believe they know what is best for their child, its their instinct. Even though 30, in some cultures, is becoming over-aged. A Muslima, who is virgin, needs consent from her Wali, or guardian. And, if her parents cannot accept you, then this marriage will not be prosperous.

    Here are some hadeeth to ponder on:

    Narated By Sahl : A man passed by Allah's Apostle and Allah s Apostle asked (his companions) "What do you say about this (man)?" They replied "If he asks for a lady's hand, he ought to be given her in marriage; and if he intercedes (for someone) his intercessor should be accepted; and if he speaks, he should be listened to." Allah's Apostle kept silent, and then a man from among the poor Muslims passed by, an Allah's Apostle asked (them) "What do you say about this man?" They replied, "If he asks for a lady's hand in marriage he does not deserve to be married, and he intercedes (for someone), his intercession should not be accepted; And if he speaks, he should not be listened to.' Allah's Apostle said, "This poor man is better than so many of the first as filling the earth."

    In regard to invalid forced marriages: Narated By Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya : That her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Allah's Apostle and he declared that marriage invalid.

  2. bismillah,,i have got married without my mothers permission.she stil dont know about father is no i am in its making me guilt and concern that is, my marriage is valid yet or not?can i behave with him as my husband?can i stay with him ,talk with or he is non mehram to me?please help me according to sharriya.jazakallahu khayran

    • farhan, we would need more information to answer, such as whether you had a wali present, and what took place at your nikah. Please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah.

      Wael Editor

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