Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Marriage without wali?


Dear, I'm a paki girl and I love a guy who is Indian. 9 years ago he proposed me and asked my mum for our wedding but my mum refuses saying that "you're Indian that's why I can't give you my daughter" .... Few years later his parents forced him to marry and he married and having 2 kids.... But still he loves me and I love him too ..... My father passed away 7 years ago my mum and bro will never accept him as my future husband .......  And even my sister and other family members will also not support me ...... I am 29 yrs and he is 38 yrs.... Can we get marry because I can't love without him and same as he ..... And also he will keep both the wives together and even I don't have any issue while living together with his 1st wife.... Plz advice me because I don't want to live my life alone without marrying and if I want to marry then I'll marry him only ...... Plz advice waiting for your answer .....??


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2 Responses »

  1. Assalam alaikum,

    You need to speak to an Imam regarding who will be a Wali for you if your brother doesn't support you regardless of who you choose.

    As for the man you are interested in marrying--you may not have a problem being his 2nd wife -- but that doesn't mean his first wife will not. It is usually nice when in a polygamous marriage to have a voice rather than it being sprung upon you.

    The fact that you and this man communicated over the last 9 years, he was forced to marry are areas of concern. I don't know how a man is forced to marry--probably emotionally blackmailed, but then what has changed suddenly now?

    Loving someone or something doesn't mean that you have to have it or that you can't live without. Perhaps you can think about this a bit more before going through with it as you seem to have your mind made up.

    I will say that your parents were wrong to say no to the marriage in the first place due to nationality.

    May Allah swt ease your difficulties and help you to find the best solution, Ameen.

  2. Its Pretty difficult when it is India And Pakistan involved.
    But i suppose you need to contact a Learned and honest Imam who would guide you to the right path

    I wish you all the very best.


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