Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Married to a non- muslim. How can I bring her to Islam?

Christian/Muslim Marriages

My wife is a non muslim woman who is big on traditional holidays she likes to celebrate all holidays even though I don't. What do I need to do in order to have peace in my home. Also she wants our three year old daughter to go to a catholic school which is the best school in our area. I have been deening for only two years now and don't want to push her away from islam but more importantly I don't want to commit shirk. I need some advice

-abduhl kareem salaam


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  1. Salaams,

    In the Qu'ran (2:256) Allah says what means, "There is no compulsion in religion, for the right way is clearly from the wrong way. Whoever therefore rejects the forces of evil and believes in God, he has taken hold of a support most unfailing, which shall never give way, for God is All Hearing and Knowing. "

    Brother, the best thing you can do to encourage your wife to Islam is to be the best husband according to Allah as you can. Be attentive, loving and gentle. Be an example of Prophet Muhammad SAWS to her. The way to show the world what Islam is really about is to live it with humilty and love for others. Then perhaps she will start to see the beauty in Islam. It may take time, but there is already something in her heart for her to have married a Muslim to begin with. Please, be patient with her and don't give up on her. She has value as a woman and a beautiful creation of Allah, and this is how you should approach her. The more you try to "force" the issue, the more you are going to have difficulty with her being open-hearted about it.

    You cannot force another to believe Islam. Many posts on this site show that insincere conversions only tend to backfire. It is for this reason precisely we advise others over and over not to convert only for the sake of marriage. I hope for your sake that you married her because you liked her as a person, and because you have compatible personalities. If you like her for who she is, you should be able to muster up the patience needed to accept her and where she is with her beliefs. Insha'Allah with time and Allah's guidance, the truth will become apparent for her as well.

    You shouldn't look at the home as YOUR home. It is a home you share with your wife, so it is just as equally hers. You can't keep her from celebrating holidays that are spiritually meaningful for her, because even Prophet Muhammad SAWS allowed Christians to keep their observances when such regions were overcome by Islam. However, your children should be raised according to Islam, and she must understand and agree to this regardless of what she does personally. Insha'Allah your good treatment of her will make her accepting of this. YOU will not be committing shirk by allowing what Allah has allowed for people of the Book. As long as you are not participating yourself, she should be free to do follow her faith as you do yours.

    -Amy
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. the children are whatever the father is brother.

    they take after his lineage, not the mothers
    they take after his nationality/race, not their mothers
    they take after his religion.

    "the children belong to the father"

    the prophet[saww].

    this is not being biased, this is the sharee'ah

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