Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Can I marry without consent of my father who abandoned me when I was only 1?

Irresponsible Father.

Father is bound to help his wife raising a Muslim family by setting himself as an example, providing for his family, educating them and build there character.

brothers and sisters,

My name is Kadija; I have been talking to this guy for over a year now. He wants to get married right now and the problem is that he wants to talk to my father but me and my father never saw each other...

My dad left when I was 1-year-old so I don't really  know my dad that much.. last 1 month my dad called and I don't really want my dad in my life and I want to tell this guy that he can marry me without talking to father so can I marry him and be halal to him or do I have to talk to my father? please if there is any other way let me know!

Thank you

- Kadija

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6 Responses »

  1. salaam sister,

    you can ask an uncle brother etc instead of your dad.I do think its better to inform your dad as well?
    Please get family involved do no marry on your own it makes the marriage invalid as well.

  2. salaam

    sister where is your mother in all this and have you informed your mother if so what did your mother say

  3. Some people here need to not give advice out when they don't know what they're talking about. This is a fiqh matter and the majority opinion would just make someone else your wali since your father chose not to be part of your life. This someones is usually an uncle or the imam.

    • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa baraakatuh

      Can waliship actually be transferred? Do you have any evidence of this?

    • Normal Poster is essentially correct. According to, if the father is not available or is not qualified then the position of wali passes in order to grandfather > brother > paternal uncle > paternal cousin > qadi (judge). Since there is no qadi in non-Muslim countries, that would be the Imam.

      Wael Editor

  4. Because he called once on the phone since she was one year old, he is now qualified to make important life decisions for her? That doesn't make sense. You're making assumptions that the father is regretful and trying to "solve the problem". There is no indication of that. How can he help his daughter make a good choice when he doesn't know her? He doesn't know her character, personality, likes or dislikes. He is little more than a biological donor.

    Sister Kadija, you have not said what other male family members you have. However, if you are close to your grandfather, or you have a brother or uncle, etc, then I suggest you go ahead and let one of them act as wali.

    Wael Editor