Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Whether to marry a virgin or not?

Hadith about Zina

Hadith about Zina

Salaam alykuum everyone.

I am facing a personal issue - I am 27 years old (male) and I live by myself. I have never been physical with a woman - so I am virgin. Now many of my friends around me are not virgin and many of the local girls have been with these guys. They often gossip about these women and spread it around the community - this often gives many of the Muslim women in the community a bad reputation and I feel that if any of these women approached me for marriage, I would reject them. Now I really want to marry a virgin woman as this is fair to me - but many have accused me of being shallow or unrealistic. However I could think or have any care for what others think or do. My issue is that I could not deal with a wife who had relations with other men and I do feel I am within my rights to ask indirectly if a woman had a 'history' prior to marriage. I know many people will say that I should not worry about as this is between Allah and her - but the fact is that I am one of these men who will be bothered by this and I might end going down the road of divorcing her. I should add that this does not include women who are divorced, reverts and widowed.
I cannot advocate that these women who committed zina made a 'mistake' because they knew they were getting into an illicit relationship and knew the consequences. I am not the type of person who would judge a woman who committed zina but rather would prefer not to marry someone like this.
I would love to get some advice.

Jazakallah and shukraan.


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61 Responses »

  1. Walaikumassalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu.

    Wa Antum Fa Jazakumullahu Khairan.

    Remember that.. inshaAllah there will be many pious sisters who fear Allah and keep their duty to HIM.
    Ask Allah to get you married with a pious woman.
    Before you marry someone decide properly whether she is the one with whom you want to marry. Do istikhara.

    My advice to you for your future is..
    Once you have married..
    do not ask your wife whether she had an affair or anything haraam in her life before marriage.. Do not spy on her .

    Just imagine this. you are married and your wife keeps asking you.. did you have a affair and keeps spying on you even though you dint. How would you feel?

    May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!

    • agreed and dont doubt either as doubts cause the relation to break

    • let me add In *most* cases, yes, the hyman (sp?) is broken. To be honest, I dont remember if thats a thin layer of skin or what- but searching that out yourself can be beneficial.
      Although sports, exercise, stretching and masturbation can and does often break the hyman, this is not always 100% proof. . There really isnt any real way to tell if she is a virgin or not unless the hyman is currently present.

      so if she does sports, exercises or stretches then maybe she can be have her hyman broken.

    • Assalamu alaikum

      I am 25 years old men. I have a love affair. We are loving each other. Sometimes before she said to me , that i am not virgin. One of the guy(her sisters husband) many times waste her virginity without her permission. Can i marry her?

      • Sas, Islamically you can marry her. So it's up to you. If it was truly done without her permission then she is blameless.

        Wael Editor

  2. Marriage is a life time commitment, ideally a muslima shouldn't commit zina nor should a guy for that matter it's haraam in islam. In my opinion you should only marry a virgin because this way you will share something special with your partner, is it right to ask the women if she's a virgin? Well if you can't judge her on her behaviour, speech etc i don't see why it will be a problem? If your intention is to marry surly this question is allowed...

    Brother dont follow in the footsteps of your friends, save yourself for your wife and do istikara may allah guide you.


  3. The pure men are for the pure woman. and the impure men and women are for eachother.

    The case is different for someone who has repented and changed. or widowed/divorced as you stated.

    however you do have every right to seek out a righteous chaste woman and if people think you are shallow let them and find other righteous friends because clearly these friends will drag you down.

    And Make dua for a righteous woman in your qiyam(standing in sunnah prayers after isha) or tahajjud(qiyam in last third of the night) and increase in your charity and istighfar, and be keen about lowering your gaze. May Allah grant you success.

  4. Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

    Marry a virgin brother because this is better for you! You can play with her and she can play with you! Why go for damaged goods brother? If the women in your area have earned a bad reputation, go non local! Search online for a Muslimah of deen who is loving and (hopefully fertile.)

    I also hate that I should marry a woman who was unchaste before marriage, or even worse, cheated on me(Ma'adhallah) after marriage. I would divorce a woman who did the slightest thing like that immediately!

    Brother it is truly better for you to marry a virigin. Look at this fatwa

    Since marrying a chaste virgin is better than marrying a chaste non virgin(a woman who was previously married or widowed) than obviously marrying a chaste virgin is far, far better than marrying a non-chaste virgin!

    You have remained chaste by the permissiion of Allah so also go for someone who is chaste!

    It's highly possible these "local girls" are the subject of slander and that the claims on them are not true. You must avoid suspicion.

    If you do get involved with a local girl, make it clear to her that this is something you strongly believe in. Say it in a nice way so she is not offended. Don't ask her about her past as this is not righteous of you. But simply make it clear to her that this is the only thing you can do since you truly hate immorality.

    And if you find out on your wedding night differently and she admits it, it's only one word....talaq.

    And you would still be chaste(albeit no longer a virgin) and you can go look for someone else.

    It is not incumbent upon you to lower your standards brother because others have lowered their standards! Ask Allah for a good girl! Don't stop asking!

    Edit: A girl who was raped but never had willing sex with someone else is also a chaste-non virgin.

    • "if you find out on your wedding night differently and she admits it, it's only one word....talaq."

      This is wrong. And we dont cast suspicions i.e. 'find out' you will not 'find out' unless she tells you, otherwise it is improper suspicion/assumptions

    • Wow you managed to offend on so many levels. Pretty disrespectful to call women who have had halal relations damaged goods. Non- virgin =/= damaged goods. The Quran tells us the chaste for the chaste, not the virgin for the virgin- and Allah has not placed a higher value on virgins than non virgin.

      Furthermore, there is no way to "tell on the wedding night," if a woman a virgin. Sorry Charlie, but there is no way to physically prove virginity. You'd be well advised to read a book or two on biology and common sense. Also, doubting your wife and causing suspicion? So completely unacceptable.

      And your edit is ridiculous. Virginity cannot be taken, it can only be given. A rape victim who had not had previous relations is still a virgin. I can't even with how offensive and misogynistic this is to women. The things you say and the way you talk have been cause for violence against our sisters. Fear Allah bro.

      • Maya how is there no way to find out if the girl is a virgin or not.
        I have heard from many women, that they bleed when there virginity is lost, and so did i. My mother also told me that in Libya, where I was born, people will get married, and will not perform the valima, until their bed sheet, is shown to the relatives, with blood spots on it. then the valima is celebrated there. Please tell me if i have heard wrong, or I when i bleed was not a sign of virginity. I know this is not really related to this topic. but I want to know if you can help that will be accepted. Only men are the ones who can hid from being virgin or non virgin, not woman. any ways correct me if i am wrong. I m refering to part where you said Furthermore, there is no way to "tell on the wedding night," if a woman a virgin. Sorry Charlie, but there is no way to physically prove virginity.
        In *most* cases, yes, the hyman (sp?) is broken. To be honest, I dont remember if thats a thin layer of skin or what- but searching that out yourself can be beneficial.
        Although sports, excersise, stretching and masturbation can and does often break the hyman, this is not always 100% proof. In otherwords- no. There really isnt any real way to tell if she is a virgin or not unless the hyman is currently present or you read her diary. But dont do that. She'll smack you for that one.

        • Sister Anna,

          Some sisters may not bleed. No one should be showing off their bedsheets from their marriage night. That is a private affair--not sure why people want to involve others in their bedroom affairs which is completely private between husband and wife.

          It is best to find a spouse by involving parents, family, and community. Obviously, do not seek out a person who is engaging in haram activities. Always know there is a limit to knowledge that we can have about a person, so put your trust in Allah.

          If you hear rumours about ur spouse, ignore them unless harm comes your way and of course exercise your best judgement. Sometimes people start rumours to break the marriages of someone because of jealousy.

          • Salam sister saba.

            I know everything your saying. I just told you about the Libyan society, and how they refer to virginity, and how much importance they show to it. we have also attended weddings and have seen that happen. obviously as a child i wouldn't know what they are showing. Plus I don't know what sect it was from as well, it is a long time ago. I am not sure if they still do it or not. but they did then.

            I know and I am aware of the fact that, people are not suppose to show off there personal affairs, I am not new this, as I am also married, and don't feel comfortable sharing my personal experiences with people. I know all people don't bleed some people are athletic and there hymen breaks without them knowing. I also know that those who are not athletic their hymen doesn't brake.

            as in our communities, maybe 50-100 years back, women didn't exercise or engage in sports, and they might all bleed at that time, and because of that the word is spread that girls bleed. Now a days girls are involved in a lot of activities, that can cause the hymen to break at any age, even girls who ride bikes break it.

            I am not judging anyone here, i thought opinions and other people knowledge also counted in these forums. If everyone doesn't know about some things that I know that doesn't make me wrong.

          • Salam Sister Saba.

            Here is a link to a topic posted on this site from a Egyptian girl... That also mention showing of bedsheets 🙂

          • Sister Anna,

            Thanks for ur reponse. Sister, I only wrote what I did because you said "Please tell me if I heard wrong."

            Good day.

          • ok dear Saba, thanks for reply 🙂 and thank you for clearing with me as i misunderstood.

      • "A rape victim who had not had previous relations is still a virgin. I can't even with how offensive and misogynistic this is to women. The things you say and the way you talk have been cause for violence against our sisters. "


        • What is "huh" about that, exactly?

          Virginity is just a concept we have in our heads. It has no physical relevance.

          We shouldn't focus on peoples' "virginity", but on whether they had sex outside marriage or not. This does not include rape or forced prostitution.

          Furthermore, when one has repented, it is not up to us to judge them or question them. It's absolutely wrong for us to do so. In fact, we should admire them for their strength; they did the wrong thing, but instead of repeating it, or denying that it was wrong, they sought Allah's forgiveness and repented.

  5. Wa alaykumusalam wa rahmatullahi wa baraakatuh

    What we get from Sheikh Salih al Munajid I believe, from Islam QA is that if the zani repents than the marriage is ok. Indeed the repenter from the sin is like one who has no sin.

    • And how do you know that the repentance is accepted ?

      • We accept the person's tawbah at face value, just as we accept a person's Islam at face value. It's not for us to know Allah's final judgment. But if we can see that the person is living an apparently Islamic lifestyle and no longer involved in sins, that is good enough for us.

        If someone does not want to marry a person who committed zinaa in the past that's also okay, that's a valid choice.

        Wael Editor

        • dear sir.
          can you answer my question too. i am having so much of pain.. can you answer mee too. please.. i have asked the question under the topic and please don't delete it. can you answer me.. under the topic zina. its about my husband.. i'm having great pain even though i'm advicing people here to pray and have hope... i believe i myself is loosing hope.. will you help... i'm not bad.. really i am really good girl you know. am i annoying you people.. I dont have anyone.. please 🙁

          • What did he do? Sister i remember you wanted to kill yourself, and many of you not to kill yourself. What happened i am praying for you and your husband but i need to know what i am going to ask Allah to help u with.

          • sister, you have posted a lot of comments here and there. You have already registered, so what you need to do is log in and write your question as a post, and save it. I would do it for you, but I can't compile one coherent post out of all your comments. So do it please, and we'll move it to the front of the queue.


        • Anna, I don't know which one is yours, as it's not posted under this username (Anna).


        • Bhai I was adding more things in it. It is the last one in the line... you might find it in the last page. please try to find it again. i think it will be there, is titled as : Is my husband being ungrateful to ALLAH, and is taking matters in Own hands??? -

          • Yes, I see it. Very well, I'll push it up to the front of the queue, not because you asked me to but because I feel the situation warrants it.


        • Salam Bhai, thank you so much for your help. I know i have been rude to people and i feel that I have hurt many on this forum. So sorry.
          I am grateful to ALLAH that your helping me with my post, as i am in desprate help. My husband doesnt allow me ti discuss personal things on the unternet. He feels it is wrong. I dont want to do gunnah or hurt him. I usually come when he is at work. I dont want to disobay him but i am in need for sugestions. JazakALLAH. May ALLAH bless you all. Preveously i was rude to ppl because of my problems, who am I to wrong ppl I hope ALLAH forgives me. Anna

  6. Gossiping is haram and it is not necessarily the greatest way or most reliable to get information about someone.

    Before we can even make such a personal attack about a woman, you need 4 witnesses to the act as well - i would steer clear of a way of finding information by these means.

    • yh that's true an not everyone tells the truth out there people can also be stirring things(give out false information) about one an other so that good work cant happened to them due to jealousy so we should be careful

  7. I would be the same as im a virgin myself I would never want to marry a non virgin as when two virgins connect eachother it makes their marriage life more beautiful ,having a past where u caused zina can affect ur sprouse way of thinking towards them could affect the trust between you guys.

    just pray in shaa allah that whichever girl comes by you would be a virgin just like you.

  8. The truth is you will never know if someone really is a virgin or not. Only Allah knows. You can ask and they may lie or tell the truth. That's why it is better to judge a person by their present behavouir and characteristics not their past. Someone may be a virgin but be a horrible spouse and someone maybe a non virgin but a loving and affectionate person.

    And people who are non virgin due to divorce widowed are not damaged goods. They can also play and have fun and enjoy a special bond like anyone else!

    • Good point. We cannot see anyone's past or future, nor divine all their secrets. We can only judge them by who they are now.

      Wael Editor

  9. If she's lawfully married to you and does not cheat on you, then she's obviously not a fornicator, is she? So I don't get what you're saying.

    Wael Editor

  10. What Islamic laws would you use to find out if she is a fornicator? No one should disclose their past sins. You should not be suspicioius of your wife for no reason at all.

    We all go to our own graves--so the tally of our sins and good deeds await us.

    If a husband and wife are true to each other, that is what matters. Keep in mind that divorcing someone for a past mistake may not be justified.

    Please provide your reasoning, other than your pure sheer feelings.

    • No one should disclose their past sins. You should not be suspicioius of your wife for no reason at all.

      A person has a right to know whether his/her potential husband/wife is virgin or not.

      • A person has a right to ask. And a person has a right not to answer. Also pay attention to the second part of the link you posted, which said that it's better to avoid such questions so as not to arouse enmity.

        Wael Editor

        • I don't understand one thing, there is clear evidence of a fornicator being haram for a mumeen and chaste both in Quran and sunnah, Quran (Surah Nur verse 3, 26) then in sunnah Narrated AbuHurayrah: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: The adulterer who has been flogged shall not marry save the one like him. AbuMa’mar said: Habib al-Mu’allim narrated (this tradition) to us on the authority of Amr ibn Shu’ayb. (Abu dawood Book 11, Number 2047)
          How come any one say against it and make a fornicator halal? How is it possible for anyone? They say about a hadith that the one who repents is like the one who never sinned.
          Firstly many say it is not a strong hadith. Next even if it si a strong hadith, here repentence means what? Asking for forgiveness and just stopping the sin? I don't think it is as simple as that. When people came to our Prophet (saw) they confessed their sins and then were given the hadd punishment. This was repentance for them which is later confirmed by the Prophet (pbuh) when he said that Ma'aiz is in the gardens of jannah and in the case of another woman, that she made so many tawbah that it would suffice the whole Madina. So, they were repentant and Alhamdulillah they were forgiven for zina by the repentence.
          Now such a repentence is not possible today. But it does not mean that if a person just decides to stop a sin he/she is like the one who has never committed any sin. If he is a fornicator then he/she is not halal for marriage to a chaste and he/she must obey Allah's command.
          Now if they find a fatwa and believe it even after clear sayings in the Quran and sunnah they will destroy what ever is good left in them. They should repent by obtaining halal means, if marrying a similar person gives them a valid marriage as per the Quran and sunnah then it the only way to ask for forgiveness. Rather just thinking one has repented and then go ahead and marry a chaste, later be living in zina for the rest of their lives.
          Zina is a great sin it destroys purity and are forbidden for marriage by the chaste.

          • Who are you to limit Allah's forgiveness?

            Al-Suyuti in Tafseer al-Jalaalayn mentions that the prohibition on the Believers was initially meant to address a situation in which some very poor Muslim Emigrants to Medina had wanted to get married to women who were pagans and known prostitutes, so that they might benefit from those women’s earnings to survive. Hence, the verse was revealed to prohibit this.

            Al-Shaukani in Fath al-Qadeer mentions that the verse is in reference specifically to people to whom zina has become a way of life and even a way of earning.

            Ibn Katheer in his tafseer quotes a narration attributed to Ibn ‘Abbas which indicates that the word “to marry” in this verse (yankiHu) actually takes its other literal meaning, which is “to have intercourse”, so that the verse reads “(illicit intercourse) is prohibited for the Believers”. Al-Tabari says that the verse was revealed to speak about a specific brothel which was frequented by non-Muslims and adulterers, and that the Muslims were forbidden from visiting houses the likes of those.

            Daraqutni reports, in part of a hadeeth, from Aisha that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was asked about a man who committed zina with a woman, and then wanted to marry her. Part of the reply was, “Something unlawful (zina) does not make prohibited that which is lawful (marriage)…”

            He also reports that Ibn Abbas, regarding a man who had committed zina with a woman and then married her, said, “The first part of [the relationship] was fornication (al-sifaah) and the last part of it was lawful Islamic marriage (al-nikaah). The first part was unlawful, and the last part was lawful.”

            It's not hard to understand. If a man used to smoke, then he quit, is he still a smoker? Ten years later should he still sit in the smoking section? What a person did in the past does not define him in the present if he has changed his lifestyle sincerely. This is very easy to understand, I think.

            Indeed the zani is forbidden to one who is chaste. But what is the Islamic definition of a zani? The answer is that it is someone who is actively engaged in the sin of zinaa, i.e. living a sinful lifestyle. It does not refer to someone who committed sins in the past then made tawbah.


          • Please read the link:


            From what I read you cannot knowingly marry a fornicator. Someone who is openly committing zina with no fear of Allah. I will not paste all info here, but a person who has committed this may ask for forgiveness and get it IF THEY SINCERELY SEEK IT. A fornicator cannot marry a non-Muslim and if they repent, they can marry through halal means. I dont understand how people are going to go around asking if their prospective spouse is a virgin or not. The idea is rather comical. I would say you have to use your brain and common sense.

            Also, if you found out after 10 yrs of marriage that u married a previous fornicator, now you have kids, will you just divorce? Even that may be just under a suspician. Bottom line, do not marry someone who openly sins. If someone sins secretly, you just can't know. So you do your best to find a spouse and inshaAllah , Allah will help you. You have to ultimately have TRUST IN ALLAH.

            "Respected sister, it is not as if one (man or woman) guilty of the crime of ‘zina’ can only be legally married to one who is likewise guilty of the same heinous crime; nor does this Aayah make it legal for a believer (man or woman) guilty of of ‘zina’ to marry a disbeliever!

            But rather, such is the monstrosity of the heinous crime of ‘zina’ in the Sight of the Lord Most Majestic, that He Declares it absolutely forbidden for a believer (man or woman) who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day to seek to marry one who is known to be a committer of such a heinous and immoral crime!

            It is neither permissible nor lawful in Islam for a believer to knowingly seek in marriage an immoral and impious woman who has been convicted or has confessed to committing the heinous crime of ‘zina’; nor is it permissible for a believing woman to knowingly agree to marry an immoral and impious man who has been convicted or has confessed committing ‘zina’, unless of course the person guilty of ‘zina’ repents and amends his/her conduct, for Allah is indeed Forgiving, Most Merciful.

            Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

            Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."

            The prohibition to marry is only for those adulterous men and women who do not repent for their abomination of ‘zina’, nor amend their conduct; but wish to continue their immoral activities without fear of Allah and the Last Day; it is to such manifest transgressors and evildoers that Islam has absolutely forbidden the believers to seek in marriage."

          • I only know and believe the Quran and sunah.
            Some questions...
            IF the explanation of Nur ;6 is this then what about Nur :26?
            What about the hadith, The adulterer who has been flogged shall not marry save the one like him.
            The hadith you have given support the marriage between two people guilty of zina
            Something unlawful (zina) does not make prohibited that which is lawful (marriage)…” and The first part was unlawful, and the last part was lawful.
            But can you please tell me an incident where there is a hadith supporting the marriage between a chaste and a repentant fornicator?
            I dont want opinion of respected sahabis but a hadith similar to the one about an adulteror marrying only another adulteror.
            Anyway I don't know much but I think if talking about the agreement of the scholars on this topic, it may be that 70% will say a repentant adulteror can marry a chaste but another 30% will say they can't. However if asked about a repentant fornicator marrying another repentant fornicator there is 100% agreement of the scholar.
            Personally to me marriage is a great big and a divine bond that is for a lifetime and even after death. To me it is not possible to carry this bond where there is even 0.00000000000001% confusion of it not being halal.
            May Allah forgive all those who fall into such a disgusting sin and bless them with a 100% halal marriage.

      • A person who is a virgin and is asked if they are may feel really insulted by that question prior to marriage. It may make them feel that their reputation has been attacked. Also, someone may be a virgin, but still had a previous haram relationship.

        A person who is not a virgin (and in a past haram relationship) may not even disclose it to you.

        Finding a spouse will have to consist of many things like family/community involvement, research of the potential suitor and so forth. If there are some doubts regarding a previous relationship, then it is best to not marry that person if you have doubts in your mind.

        Someone could have done sincere tawbah and left the wrong path. Allah may or may not accept it depending on their intention/situation/sincerity. We humans can't judge those things--so we work in the boundaries set for us. Allah is the judge of this. I suppose we have to accept that we don't know everything because Allah, and Allah alone knows everything.

  11. hmmm thats the matter. listen brother its good for you that you are virgin. if your mates or people around you saying some thing leave them let them saying and its not that world is full of people like them there are lot of people are still virgin like you and if your friend saying some thing to you say to them I'm proud of it that I'm better than you. as you there are lots of girls who are virgin i think more than guys girls are virgin. you just need to go for good character means good girl or go for good family. and try to marriage young girl of good character she must be good for you.
    ermm i don't want to say anything about proving a virginity but..... i think good character young girl will be good for you what you are looking for... she can be what you want from her...
    look for Islamic way of finding you partner. and do istikhara. follow these below...

    Jabir related,

    While we were returning from a conquest with the Prophet (pbuh), I started driving my camel fast, as it was a lazy camel. A rider came behind me and pricked my camel with a spear he had with him, and then my camel started running as fast as the best camel you may see. Behold! The rider was the Prophet (pbuh) himself. He said, What makes you in such a hurry? I replied, I am newly married. He said, Did you marry a virgin or a non-virgin? I replied, A non-virgin. He said, Why did not you marry a young girl[1] so that you may play[2] with her and she with you?

    [Reported by Al-Bukhari]

    [1] This is because a virgin woman has the luster of pleasure, clings to her husband and is easy to be learned what her husband wants to implant of good manners.

    [2] The first time to have sex with your partner is very critical. Both of you may be fumbling and do not know what he or she ought to do. This is because both of you plan how to lose his or her virginity as fast as possible. Caressing one’s wife is so important at that moment. Speak to her about your love and passion. Get to know each other’s body. Take your time in caressing each other and you will lead a happy life.

    "Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity."(Quran 24:26)

    Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) recommended Muslims to select those partners who are best in religion (Deen) and character.

    "A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, for her rank, for her beauty, and for her religion (and character), so marry the one who is best in the religion and character and prosper." (Bukhari and Muslim)

    I'm 26 year old same as you...... what you said virgin.... that's why i like such kind of stuff ... Good luck Bro

  12. i read all of this cuz thought i might b able to find sum answer to a Q asked by a very close friedn of mine ..wont name her.
    (remainder of the question has been deleted)

    • Assalamualaikum,

      Please login and submit your question separately as a new post. In sha Allah we will publish it in turn.

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  13. Wut matters is a person's character, heart, and how they really are.

    Sure we all have a past, but who are we to judge?

    Of course Id be hesistant too to be with someone thats been with a 100 ppl but seriously cmon only Allah can judge.

    Love matters more than intimacy or being a virgin. Once u find love, that intimacy wud have more meaning to it too. Who knows? u cud be missing out on a great person

    • Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

      Yes but it is mustahhab to marry a virgin and no virgin man can be blamed at all for wanting that.

  14. A woman who has broken her virginity to someone else and then marries will affect the marriage because a woman will somehow always be attached to the man that broke her virginity were a man is different in this case

    • Abdullah, that's not necessarily true. If a woman is divorced or widowed and remarries, she might easily fall in love with her new husband. After all, the Prophet (pbuh) married widows and divorcees.

      Wael Editor

      • Yes wael she may fall in love easily but still definately has feelings for whoever broke her in , it affects the relationship when your marrying a girl for the first time and it's her first time that's were I'm
        Coming from as for a woman who is divorced is different because she broke her virginity the halal way with her husband , I'm talking in regards to a woman who hasn't broken it the halal way and then gets married , she might talk about her ex a lot and show no care for the man

        • Br. Abdullah,

          Are you then advocating that women who have lost their virginity in the haram way should never get married again Islamically, but for men who have lost their virginity it is ok? If you are telling Muslim men to not marry a Muslim women who has repented and is in this situation OR telling Muslim women in this situation to never get married, you are essentially advocating for these women to remain single for the rest of their lives which could possibly grow into a crisis in the Ummah only begetting further wrongdoing. Please very clear for all parties on all sides of this multi-dimensional issue.

          Are you saying that it less haram for a man to engage in zina as compared to women?

          What is the Islamic advice you are giving to men and women who have lost their virginity through haram means?

          As for your statement regarding women, not all women are like that, just as not all men fit a certain stereotype.

        • "Whoever broke her in..."?!?

          We're people, not horses.

          Phrases like that can come across as very disrespectful towards women, so please be careful about the language you use.


        • Abdullah, why would a woman who lost her virginity in the haram way retain her attachment to the man, while a woman who lost her virginity in the halal way could get over him and love someone else? That makes no sense.

          Men and women are not different species. The truth is that when you fall in love with someone, you retain some feelings for that person all your life, whether the relationship was haram or halal, and whether you are are divorced, widowed, or just "broken up".

          The feelings lessen in time, especially when you meet someone new, but there will always be some degree of emotional attachment, even just at the level of fondness or nostalgia. Or maybe bitterness or hate, which is just the other side of the coin.


  15. Wa Alaikum Salaam Wa Rahmatullahi
    before answering to your question i would like to tell that Assalamualaikum and Salaam Alikum have differrent meanings. May be you know and written by mistake but if you don't know then search on it .

    Well your issue is that you need a virgin wife and you see non-virgin girls around you. Actully main issue is that what you see is true . And everything is according to the Holy Quran happening now in this world . Quran says that Judgment day has many symbols. and we can feel it now . one of the major issue is that you are feeling the symbol of judgement day . but there is not mentioned that every girl will loose virginity. Your problem has a
    very easy solution that you can CHANGE YOUR COMPANY where you see everyone non-virgin, because there are still a number of kind people present in this world and the number of kind people will remain present till the day of judgement.
    You should trust on God and hope for the best

  16. Am a young muslim i have been in relationship with a girl who told about her past that she had sex with many of her ex. And she tells me she still feel like having it with me again. Pls what should i do? Or how can i stop her? And pls is she the right person?

    • If you are a religious Muslim then obviously this is not the right girl for you. Break off your contact with her and stop seeing her. A girl like this is not marriage material.

      Wael Editor

  17. But even if i am to break up with her is there not something i can do to change her habbit. Because she told me sometimes she feels like something is pushing her to do it. And why i still stay with her is that she has a jinn issue with her. She is been possessed by jinns. And she usually tell me to pray for her because of the jinn and sex issue.

    • There's no jinn issue. It's an excuse. If she really wanted to change, she could. It's not your job to change her. She is the only one who can do that, by Allah's will.

      Wael Editor

  18. dera friends i have read all comments . but we are muslims and as muslims we blive on GOD and QURAN if u are virgin then ur life partner is allsooo virgin if u are not then u know wtah QURAN saad

  19. U just think like me, I'm a girl, my age is 25, me and my Allah knows that I'm also 100 percent virgin. Cuz I always stay at home. I'm a simple and domestic girl. I just read ur massage, I thought I should encourage ur innocence, as I'm also fully innocent. U know I 've never ever imagined that how it feels when a man will get closer to me. I feel very shy. In still single and virgin. My parents r waiting for a nice rishtaa for me.

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