Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Masturbation and its Alternatives; Is Ghusl Necessary?

Masturbation in Islam?


I am having a very frustrating problem. I feel very ashamed to tell you about the problem I have but I don’t really have any other place to ask.

I am a girl having problem of masturbation. I found it unintentionally and I have been so addicted. Previously, I didn’t know that it is not permissible to masturbate so i just did it but after I came to know that this act is not permissible in Islam, I really want to stop. I also feel very guilty, dirty and low just every I did it.

Everybody thinks I’m like an angel, a very good and religious girl and it just makes me feel worse. I feel like a hypocrite. They just don’t know what I have been hiding. I have always tried to quit but I always failed. It really stresses me out. I also pray to Allah for helping me quit but why is it so hard?

I feel like crying while writing this. I really really wanna stop it and live my life peacefully and be a good girl.

I have a question here, when I really feel like doing it, I try so hard not to do it but I just (I’m really sorry if this is so impolite to ask) let my down there work by throbbing it by itself without touching it but I did it while reading such erotic stories from net and sometimes I did it without reading such thing as well. This will get me wet and can lower my urge to masturbate. Is it ok for me to do so to avoid masturbation?

Even though, I don’t touch it but it gets wet so do I need to have ghusul? I’m really sorry for the impoliteness in my post but I just want to know is it right. May Allah reward you with goodness for your kindness to give reply to my questions.


~ Confusedgirl@

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321 Responses »

  1. I recommend you to make urself busy .. nd dont make chance to be alone..

  2. InshaAllah you keep trying harder and pray to Allah and you'll be able to endure it I know how this feels but then you will have to make yourself believe it's something you can stop even though it takes time. Just try being around people then or probably just sleep if you can

  3. i am 21yrs old girl..I want to confess something..and i also want a wayout from it..actually few days back i knew about it..though im addicted to masturbation by showerheads..few days back i knew about it deeply..later, i dont even know the term or something like that..and its a big sin too..and now i am feeling guilt and i am ashamed of myself..i want ro repent and i want a good life ahead..due to this i am feeling depressed..actually later i dont know about its a sin..and i had pleasured with i feel dirty about i just want to get rid of all this acts and peace..pls help and advice me..i am in dire need of it 🙁 I don't know what happens to me..may be, because of this I don't even get a good proposal..!!! Pls help me

    • Muslimah alhamdulillah you're willing to repent, just keep seeking for Allah's forgiveness he is gafurrurahim, and no matter how much it tepts you just perform wudu and pray nafil or just mingle with people. And keep praying inshaAllah a good husband will show up .

      May Allah see you through

      • Dear Sister, i can fully understand where your coming from. tis is someting that i am finding dealing with very difficult. the feeling of not being worthy or guilt or feeling dirty always run through my mind. I try and always repent but end of wanking i also find even if i hold back for two weeks i get cranky n moody n i end up doing it again.

        all i can say is its very hard n your not alone but always repent n try to keep u do any sports any leaisure activity ? along with prayers this shoudl help u occopy. one other advise is always keep thehand u use to masturbate busy for eg: have a stress ball or soomething it will keep your mind off things.

        hope the best for you

        • Brother..How could you know where I'm from?

          • muslimah, "I know where you're coming from" is an expression. It means, I know what you are feeling, or I understand you. It's not literal.


          • sister i meant whats happening to you and y u masturbate as im going thru this difficulty. so i meant same experienceas u

    • Jazakallah khair...sisters and brother may Allah bless you all..

    • If you are doing it in shower ,reduce the time for your bath

  4. Salamu aleikum sister, may allah help you stop what displeases him...maybe good to remember allah is watching you and you have angels around you, you might feel ashamed to do such act when you think your alone but are is said by an imam that "water by water" so if you get any wetness you have to have ghusul sister...masturbation is a bad addition and not healthy for you, try your best to stop, and I urge you inshallah sister to marry the mean time try fasting more as it will lower the desires bi idni allah Kareem...I pray that inshallah makes you successful in this world and the next amin Salam sister

  5. Salam...I am having the same exact problem too. I am trying to find an answer for this...a solution. This behaviour has been addictive to me since I was young. The feeling comes just naturally. Even though now I am married my husband is not sexually active. As a result I have to masturbate in order to "let go" of that feeling.


    • Salam sister, it's a good thing you're married now and sorry to hear that your having to resort to mastirbation even after marriage. Have you tried talking to your husband? You can maybe read some books together and that might help him. Try more physical contact. One advice would be to seek help from professional and there are good Islamic talks and books you can read. If you don't mind me asking do you have high sex drive ? Are you masturbating everyday? If so plz get help and I hope you are able to resolve this matter quick.

      • AsaLamu alikum n forgive for disturbing if did just want to convey n need any accepting solution from you plz feel sad very much to tell this
        I want to tell you im just 22 years old I'm addicted to this from long time I try so harder to get away from this hell but I olways failed but everytime I do so I make gusul n ask forgiveness from allah but then same time within a day i keep continuing the routine process same repenting n then same I feel ashamed now feel low how long will allah Forgive me my health has gone weeker kindly suggest if you can
        It will be your kindness

        • I am 15 year old women and I do that thing........I fasted for more than 70 days( I tried my best to fast continuesly) and it was all controlling and after fasting for such long I started to fast only on Mondays and Thursdays and was all back to normal until I stopped fasting when exams started......... fasting is the best cure and I would recommend you to do that...... fasting and I often say this dhikr...... allahumma ighfir li zanabi wa thahir kulbi wa assin farjee....... would help you cure

    • It is so wrong to be married and do something like that, I'll advice you to sit and talk to your husband you should show him how unhappy you're and that you're not sexually satisfied. If he doesn't change you talk to someone who can help you talk to a sheik to help talk to him, and if this persist then... But whatever it is pray to Allah SWT to bring you the best solution

      • I hope it helps sister inshaAllah you'll come through this, assalamalaikum

      • May I ask what do you mean by "IF IT PERSISTS THEN" ?? Are you saying after she talks to a sheikh she can masturbate? And is it haram to do it after marriage if ones unhappy ??

    • same situation as me im marrried but i yet have to resort to masturbation and even though i try n stop i give up and end up masturbating.. did your husband ever caught u doing it ?

  6. Dear one,
    Dont be so upset .be brave. im also a 20 year old men who is addicted to this worse activity.during ramadan i also work hard to control my emossions that provoke me to do my opinion if you are doing in a routine manner .try to reduce it by step by step.first of stop searching about the erotic stories. I might not be the right person to advice you.but you can suerly help me sending tips to stop it.i will be glad with it.

  7. Assalamualaikum...
    Dear sis, i advice you to Marry soon if you are aged. Also, you try yourself to do masturbation less frequently by increasing the gaps. Suppose start from once in three days. After 5 round, make it once in 5 days. Later once in a week. Once in 10 days, 2 weeks , 1 month like that step by step. But beware.. you should never break your rules. Once you break your gaps, you are falling into iblees trap. Just wait for next turn...

  8. May allah forgive you. Yes, You should shower and have ghusl after u masturbate or else your prayers won't be accepted. Same ghusl as after your period..

  9. whatever sin is if we r guilty we should repepnt and try to avoid doing that again.
    May Allah forgive us all and bless us all with pious hidayah

  10. I know it could be a bit difficult but if you do it like everyday then why don't you try fasting, if not everyday do it every alternate day or at an interval of 2-3 days...that should probably help ...

  11. I remove My clothes befor masturbation and get back after masturbation and then wear it back and then tomorrow after the bath can I wear the same cloths
    Sorry to say but what i can do I am not doing it everyday 1 orr 2 two times in m
    Month i am also feel sad but what can i doo so plzzif you answer my Question

    • Assalamualaikum...sister whenever u get the thought of that...mastubation....say allahu Akbar...n go for Wazu...use cold water ...take cold water and splash it on Ur face...n commit itself...nt to get that thought again...

  12. I am a muslim teenager , i do masturbate , im a boy . If I Masturbate At Morning (After Fajr salat) Can i Masturbate?

    Please help me

  13. Masturbation is not haram. And you can go to hanbali thought and found their arguments. If you husband masturbate you it is halal. If you do it yourself , while your are next to your husband it is halal. If you masturbate against the thigh of your husband while he is sleeping or his eyes is just closed , then it is halal. If u do it while ur husband is not here , it is halal. If you are not married , and do the very same action of masturbating , it still becomes halal! What you need to do is that after masturbatinh you must do ghusul robe able to pray. And never mastubate during the day of fasting in ramadhān. If the fast is outside the month of RamadHān and u masturbate while fasting , then your fast is broken , no sin it u must do ghusul for your next Salah (prayer).

  14. Walaekum as Salam sister
    As far as i know dre are 2 school of thoughts wd regard to masturbation
    1 says prohibited and 2nd says allowed only in cases wre u think u cud go into haram relationships or do adultery wd sm1.. Its better u masturbate
    Also wd dsregard i watched a vedio of dr zakir naik and he says d same
    Rest Allah knows d best
    And stop feeling so guilty.. At least u r trying

  15. A-O-A i am a boy and i know how this feels i was also in this problem than after many researches i have found the solution of this problem. The solution to this problem is to deal with a bad habit is to increase your good habits. Shaitan will try his best to take you into Hell but your Allah has given and (zameer). Offer five times prayer and don't let shaitan attack you. You have strong faith thats why shaitan comes to you. Make you heart hang in the masjid or where ever you pray. Trust in Allah

  16. i must confess allah i have masturbated twice after saying i wasn’t gonna please allah don’t affect my basketball skills and inshallah i will make the aau team please allah repent my sins and inshallah i won’t do it again ameen

  17. Assalamualikum Everyone...
    Im a Boy who is addicted to masturbation after 9th grade. I don't even know it Back then, but because of wrong friends in life and Using of Internet alone (through Videos) I once Tried it. And at that Time, it was the Best Feeling I could ever explain in my age of Puberty.
    But day by day. I realized that It is Forbidden in Islam. And I still know it. But I can't Last myself Long like over a 2 or 3weeks without doing it in BaitUlKhelaa...
    I can't explain the feeling When it is done.
    It feels like I Lost again and Shaitaan Won.
    Now, its about one Year. Still cant get RID Of it.
    Even in the Holy Month of Ramadan, I have done it But After Aftaar. I can't Stop myself from this forbidden act after watching any adult video.
    I even cried with tears, in front of Allah for Forgiveness but just after 3-4 days, Shaitaan Again Won.
    I am sooo Guilty and ashamed with myself that I even Stopped Doing Dua after Namaz because I felt toooo Shy and Ashamed in demanding goods from Allah just After doing bad deed.
    I even thought that my Dua may not be accepted because God must be Quite angry with me. Because I had broken soo many Promises with Allah that I will never do it again but I always ended up doing it.
    So, plzzz can anyone tell/motivate me How to stop this Habbit which is making me physically weak and is also a Big sine after Zinah.
    Am Sorry to use that Inappropriate Language, but I don't have any other option to discuss this kind of Stuff. So, I choosed to discuss my problem online, as I am Comfortable in doing it.
    Jazak Allah.
    Thank you
    Peace ✌

    • Hello dear muslim.

      Congratulations, it takes courage to say such things and I exactly know how this feels.

      Shaytan's purpose of you masturbating is not only to make you do something Allah has forbidden but to make you feel ashamed afterwards, to the point where you drift farther from Allah and is too ashamed to talk and ask him things.

      Allah, chose us because we sin, I'm sorry I forgot al hadeeth but it was something around the lines of : If I don't bless humans with my forgiveness, who would I bless with my rahma. I'm sorry maybe I shouldn't use it when I don't know the exact same words that were used. Allah knows that you sin but Allah loves it when you come back Allah loves atawabin (those who always come back to him after sinning and ask for forgiveness. )

      Shaytan is tricky, be as tricky as him. be creative ! Find ways to stop yourself from doing that thing.

      I've read amazing comments above, like how you should keep the hand that you use busy, or how you should quickly as you feel the urge to do it, STAND UP. That's it.
      Stand up, leave the room go for a walk around the house, talk to members of family or go for a walk outside. But you should do all this quickly, don't think don't give your nafss or shaytan the chance to convince you otherwise. His signature phrase is "just for a little bit", it's never a little bit trust me.
      There's also those comments " go perform wodou with cold water", lower your gaze, fast..
      Something can be effective for someone but it can't be for another person.

      In my case, I've been an addict for quite a long time, started at 11 by coincidence, had no one to ask. Shaytan used the advantage of " oh I don't know if it's good or bad anyways, if it's bad I won't get tortured in jahanam because I don't know"
      But Mohammed peace be upon him said to leave that which is uncertain and go for things that are certain.
      Truth is we have no excuse, everything is clear.
      Then a miracle happened. It was in 12th grade. the day of the national exam. it lasts 3days. The first two days were alright, but on the last day I forgot the papers required to take the exam, it was science. I was so scared I worked so hard for this day just to forget the papers. I cried to Allah begged and begged, please Allah, help me, help me, the teacher thought I was crying because I was scared of the exam but I was actually scared she'd ask for my papers. Even if she asked and I was allowed to take the test, a lot of my time will be taken. I begged, Allah, if everything goes alright, if she doesn't see my papers I promise..I won't masturbate. Ever again.
      An hour, two, three. The teacher didn't ask for my papers when teachers had been asking for them for the two last days.
      Truly a miracle.
      It was 7months ago. I lasted 6 months. Even though I promised Allah, even tho he gave me the honor of granting my wish. I did it again. It's unforgivable isn't it? Allah forgave me.. He still lets me pray, he still helps me, still listen to me and loves me. I kept thinking I didn't deserve this, I was unworthy. But what about I stop doubting and just be thankful?
      Fighting against it is hard but Allah loves us for trying.
      at least we don't give up. There's some people who are proud. I'm masturbating, so what?

      Good job fellow warriors. This is war. The important is to keep fighting.
      We are weak, but we are strong-willed too
      If we fall we will stand up again inshaalah.

      What I'm trying to say : keep trying, don't be ashamed to ask Allah because he loves it when you ask him.

      Allah hears us out even if we sin.

      Allah forgave people who's done way worse. He forgave Youssef's brothers when they've done him a lot of wrong. A lot of exemples are in my mind, but I'm not sure of the sourah they figured in.

      Allah always forgives, don't underestimate Allah's mercy because it's so broad. it's one of his names " ARahman, AlGhafour". The most merciful, the most forgiving.

      Think about it, for it to be chosen as a name.
      And the beauty is , the name wasn't just : rahman or ghafour. which means it's just an adjective but ARahman and AlGhafour.

      And this hadith with the meaning that Allah is in the good intentions of his slaves (I translated it literally, I'm not in a position to translate, I just want to prove a point). It means if you believe Allah's mercy and forgiveness is unending, that he listens and forgives when you sin, he will.
      Islam is really beautiful.

  18. One of my friend told me that he experienced sleep paralysis when he got to bed after masturbation.this happened to him two to three times. then he stop doing masturbation. but he still getting sleep paralysis.Is this a punishment?

    • It's not a punishment. It's a medical condition. Allah knows best.

      Wael Editor

      • Yeh i know its a medical condition. But he experienced first time on that night. He thought that he might get punishment. And trust me sleep paralysis is the worst thing that can happen to any one.

  19. As Salam alaikum Sister,

    Allah has permitted temporary marriage for such situations where it’s difficult to get married permanently. Please consult an Aalim regarding this as ordinary people are against it. But this saves Muslims from haram acts. Temporary marriage was practiced in Prophets time and permitted by our Prophet (saw). There is also a verse in Quran in Surah Nisa ayat 24. Please get the right translation of this Ayat as many try to change it to suit their thinking. May Allah help and guide us all, Amin. Temporary marriage is a temp contract where both can put any conditions and is for a time period agreed by both. As Allah mentioned in this Ayat, he has permitted this only if you desire chastity not lust.

    • Negative, it is completely forbidden. It's true that it was allowed in the early days of Islam but this was later abrogated. That was not uncommon. For example drinking alcohol was also allowed in the early days but was later forbidden.

      It was narrated from ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade mut’ah marriage and the meat of domestic donkeys at the time of Khaybar.
      -Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3979; Muslim, 1407.

      It was narrated from al-Rabee’ ibn Sabrah al-Juhani that his father told him that he was with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said, “O people, I used to allow you to engage in mut’ah marriages, but now Allaah has forbidden that until the Day of Resurrection, so whoever has any wives in a mut’ah marriage, he should let her go and do not take anything of the (money) you have given them.”
      -Narrated by Muslim, 1406.

      So it is definitely NOT allowed at all.

      Wael Editor

  20. This year I stopped masturbation for a month, I used to meditate (I had free time), but when life got busy again, I stopped meditating, then I felt as I am going to burst anytime, and so one day I masturbated, It didn’t took much, just a touch as I was super sensitive, Good thing of that one month was that some of my grey hairs turned black (at my head :)). And I was having a psoriasis which healed (one small spot left), now as I am masturbating again, I am unable to stop, as I dont have time for medtitation, I feel stupid for giving into it last month, I dont know how to stop again.

    I will try your method and I hope it works for me, Thanks a lot for sharing,

    • Roshni
      It will become habit for you and it's kind of education.
      You don't surround yourself with male friends as that will increase your desire to masturbate by imagining them .
      Better to divert mind and avoid it .
      If possible get married .

  21. Thanks for the valuable information. Some of them were unknown. Keep your article flooded with such true information.

  22. Dear All,

    As salaam alaykum

    Im writing this because it helped me a lot. The first thing is to understand that one NEVER feels good after masturbation. It always results in feelings of emptiness, regret and shame. The second thing to understand is that it also starts with feelings of shame and unworthiness. So it starts and ends with shame. In fact it increases the bad feelings. So, what helped me is this. When I feel the urge to do it, I try to NAME the feelings that cause the urge. Usually, these feelings are ANXIETY, SHAME, HUMILIATION, UNWORTHINESS, REJECTION, LONELINESS, DESPERATION. Naming the feelings helps to separate them from the sexual urge and realize that the urge is actually a mess of unresolved feelings. When understanding comes into the heart, an amazing thing happens, the feelings lessen! One feels victorious and grateful instead of empty and shameful!!! So may Allah grant all of us the strength to use the urge to masturbate to turn inwards and make it a means to understand ourselves better and endow us with the blessings of self discovery and openings of hearts. AMEEN.

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