Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Masturbation for divorced women?

Masturbation: Effects on Human Health

If a divorce woman do masturbation sometimes is this haram in islam? I just want to know if it is haram then what will I do when i feel horny as I am divorced.. I tried to find out this information from many sites but I could not find anything that relate about divorced women. It is said that its haram for unmarried women but what about divorced women...?


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19 Responses »

  1. Salam alaikum dear sister,

    I believe it is the same for anyone, no matter marital status. Masterbation is looked down on in all cases, except when it actually and seriously prevents one from committing Zina in the present moment. There are many similar cases on this website to refer to.

    In your case you have two options: 1) keep your emotions under control and distract yourself when such thoughts come to mind, or 2) start looking for a suitable partner to get married to so you can both enjoy such experiences together. If number 2 is the path you choose, then choose a partner who is first and foremost pious, or God loving. Often times there is quite a large pool of divorced men looking for partners, and often times those are the men who have learned the hard way from their past marriage mistakes, and also have more intimacy experience to match you.

    InshAllah whichever way you choose, you can overcome this challenge if you use your reasoning more than your emotions.


  2. I'm not sure why there is a distinction between never married and divorced women, sister. Masturbation is an outlet for unfulfilled sexual needs. Divorced and never-married women feel sexual urges. You will feel this way until you reach menopause.

    • I agree and I also want to point out that some married women are not fulfilled sexually either. The generalizing of haram is haram in itself. I would like to see a specific text from the Quran that forbids maturation. The Quran mentions extra marital relations with another human being not with urself. Allah is very specific and clearwith his words and with what is Haram and what has a punishment attatched to it. . I beleive we women should research this in the quean on a deeper level and not take scholar’s words for it. Take it straight from the Quran and do the research. I think The Quran is understood depending on your level of awareness and your particular urgency to know an answer.

  3. Dear Sister,

    Instead of trying to get knowledge about Islam and about what is Haram or Halal from the internet. I suggest you contact a Lady Islamic Scholar who has knowledge about Islam and who will be more than happy to help you.

    You cannot trust and practice your religion by taking rulings on Islam from random people on the internet who may or may not have any knowledge about Islamic Fiqh.

    May Allah get you in contact with a learned scholar.

    • Asif: I suggest you contact a Lady Islamic Scholar who has knowledge about Islam and who will be more than happy to help you.

      Scholars themselves don't agree on many subjects. Would you have suggested a man who masturbates to go to an Islamic scholar for help?

      • If you don't agree with my solution, then please provide a solution for the lady to deal with this problem.

        Yes, I would have suggested a man to go and seek advise from an Imam or an Islamic Scholar. They can ask the scholar in a decent worded sentence instead of asking about masturbation they can ask about how to control her feelings when she is not married and they will understand and advise her.

        I've heard many Imams in their speeches explain about these concepts because there are some people who have asked these kinds of doubts.

        • Probably the best people to advise her are women in a similar position.

          • I agree with Asif… just because we are women it does not suddenly make us all scholars of fiqh, when it comes to female related issues. As you mention @SVS, many scholars do not agree on many subjects and give different fatawah/rulings, meaning that one can go with a less common ruling - so long as this scholar isn’t known to always give rulings that are very dissimilar to those of the majority of scholars. There are scholars out there who say that a divorced woman is makruh/disliked to masturbate, and although this is a minority of scholars, it is still a sound ruling nevertheless that one can follow in order to not fall into sin, until perhaps they are able to give it up, or until they get married. However, I am not entirely sure as to whether this is a ruling pertaining to those who actually have consummated the marriage, or if it also includes those who have done the nikkah, but got a divorce before they had the wedding and consummated the marriage (in many cultures there is a “engagement” period of weeks or months, and sometimes even years between the nikkah and actual wedding ceremony).

            Going to a female scholar is sound advice by brother Asif, but we must also remember that with fiqh, you cannot simply jump from scholar to scholar until you find a scholar whose ruling you are happy with and one should be ready to accept the ruling of the person (a scholar of fiqh or student of fiqh) whom they seek the ruling from 🙂

  4. Masturbation keeps the sexual desire alive and indirectly helps you seek a mate. If it leads to orgasm it can help you release tension and relax.

    As for as sin is concerned almost all men masturbate at some points in their lives.

    • Sweeping statements such as that just undermine the argument. There is no way any individual can know what almost all men do at some points in their lives. This is pure speculation.

      • Assalam o alikum I am 18 years old girl and mastrabutating since 3 years ago when I m so much depressed I mastraburate whenever I faece hudles of my family relationship, studies problms any failure I mastraburate I also offer prayer 4or 5 times a day but I feel burden on my body when I laid on bed after mastrabutating I felt severe pain in my arms, legs I can't decide that is it my habit or devilness after Soo many redimies sipututal methods with the great depression and pain I am commenting here kindly guide me with the right thing plzzzzz.
        I want to get rid of this I also make Duas for these my devilness and crzyness kindly answer me with right and possible solution I can't marry because of my career I am single daughter of my parents I don't want to lost my and their happiness in this act plz .

        • Asalamualaykum Sister,

          In addition to praying to Allah and making Dua for his help with your issue, you need to see a medical professional for your depression. I would start with a mental health therapist/counselor and discuss with them the things that worry and bother you. Try to go weekly or bi-weekly and Inshallah you will feel much better. I myself see a therapist regularly. There is no shame in it.

          I should also inform you, in case you are not aware, that you should be doing ghusl after each time you masturbate if you intend on praying. I would refrain from anything that is leading you to masturbate, whether it be pornographic videos, having too much time on your hands (Shaytan works on us when we are idle), or overlooking some of your responsibilities towards Allah. Read the Quran when you are struggling with your will give you peace Inshallah.

          Let me know if there is anything else I can help with, and I hope you feel better soon. 🙂



    • SVS,

      Sorry, I just came across this comment too and had to comment. Masturbation is not helping one "seek a mate," either directly or indirectly! It is doing the exact opposite, as your sexual needs are being limited by your habit. You don't crave the intimacy of the opposite gender as much when you are relieving your own self.

      And Allah knows best,


  5. Dear sister,

    Asif suggestion will help you, you can not get proper answer, many will say differently so get lady scholor help.

  6. Assalam alaikum !

    It is clear that it is haraam,Please get married with a simple person who can support one another in deen. There are pious people in our community.Our sins always push us down.Allah surely accepts tawbah and he is there for you always.So dont loose hope. You are not alone.There are millions of muslims suffering in different situation .Only our repentance to Allah will make things easy.

    “And whoever fears Allah, for him Allah brings forth a way out, and gives him provision (rizq) from where he does not even imagine…” (Surah At-Talaq: 2/3)

    I have gone through broken marriage and Allah helped me finding a spouse.

    May Allah guide you.... Aameen.

    • Then what would be the solution if a person cannot satisfy his wife during intercourse ,but both are loving eachother and he fails to satisfy the woman and cannot control not more than 2 or 3 minutes during mingle with wife.In this condition,the woman will get frustrated and depressed.So is female masturbate herself using finger to attain the satisfaction is permissible? is this acceptable instead of get frustrated by his man with the permission of him?

  7. It is so easy for some of the commenters here to say "get married." It really isnt that easy.
    I am divorced girl too and yes it is very difficult to keep yourself away from masturbating since we are all human and have certain desires. So what is a girl supposed to do? She cannot engage in haraam sexual acts with another man, or be intimate with somone other than her husband. Is anyone else in this situation.
    Please advice on how you handle this.


  8. Dear Sister,

    I was a divorce and my current wife was also a divorcee .She has a kid.We found each other through matrimonial site. We both were looking for a person who is practising deen and enough money to survive.Our marriage was so simple just 2 witness ,her parents,my frnds. & Walima with around of 10 guests.

    I know its not easy during the struggle.But also can we keep hope on Allah's mercy while breaking the rules ? . Tahjud dua made our things easy.My Marriage was a mercy from Allah.There were so many impossible things.We both lived in 2 different countries ,Court rules etc etc. Allah turned all the situation favourable to us. Thats the power of dua.

    In Saheeh Muslim (2736) it says: “A man’s (dua’s) may be answered so long as it does not involve sin or severing the ties of kinship or hastening.” It was said: “O Messenger of Allah, what does hastening mean?” He said: “When he says, ‘I made dua’ and I made dua’ but I did not see any response,’ so he gets discouraged and stops making dua’.”

    In the hadeeth it says: [The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)] mentioned the man who undertakes a lengthy journey and is disheveled and covered with dust, and he stretches his hands towards heaven saying, ‘O Lord, O Lord,’ when his food is haraam, his drink is haraam, his clothes are haraam. He is nourished with haraam, so how can he be granted a response?

    When we turn towards Allah completely Allah will change the situation.Then its our choice what we are really looking for and how serious we are. Sincerity and seriousness means we will focus on getting Allah's mercy continuously and keep our self away from all sins.

    If we really want some thing we will keep our self from those bad habits.I am really sorry, if i hurt you in any way. Please do not loose hope.

  9. I think no one really has the answers to questions like this. Since the Quran does not specify these. i personally just do it and if God on the judgment day see this as a sin then i am more then happy to bare the retribution. You have to make up your own mind cus talking advice from strangers on internet on this topic hardly helps.

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