Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Masturbation problem making me ashamed

Posted by • August 30, 2014 • Printer-friendly
Ashamed woman, sad woman, depressed woman

Feeling ashamed.

Salaam,

I'm a 16 year old girl that can't control her sexual urge, but instead of committing zina I decided to masturbate. Ever since then I'm unable to stop this illicit act and cannot tell my mum about it. I've prayed to Allah about it and also sought forgiveness, but all to no avail.

Dear brothers and sisters, please help me out on how to stop this act. I also want to ask if I've already lost my virginity through this act.

Jazakallahu khayran,

-Jumai


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15 Responses »

  1. ShineForYou
    August 30, 2014 • 4:50 pm

    Wa 'alaikom alsalam.

    You're facing a rather common problem and a lot of questions have been answered regarding it. Search the archives and you'll probably find all you need to know. My personal advice to you is to look at the root of the problem. Find out why you resort to masturbation. Maybe the cause is something you can prevent or avoid? And if you're dedicated to your promises, try promising Allah that you'll never do it again and think of how displeased He'll be with you if you break your promise to him every time you're tempted to. However, if you're bad at promises don't make promises you can't keep.

    Remember Allah is the most Merciful and the most Forgiving so ask for His forgiveness and ask Him to help you fight your nafs.

    May Allah help and guide you and all the other Muslims.

    Reply
  2. N D
    August 30, 2014 • 4:57 pm

    السَلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَ رَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَ بَرَكَاتُهُُ

    To the sister who is mastturbating. May Allah swt guide you onto the siratul mustakeem path. One way to stop this is to fast. By fasting you refrain from sexual encounters and do not think of bad things or do them in a state of fast. The other is to read namaz...5 times a day. By reading Salah, you are in constant wudu as best as can be and ready for your next salah. When making dua, sincerely praise Allah swt and ask for his forgivness dearly from your heart. Inshallah everything will be fine. Just think....Allah swt is everywhere, he sees what you do, he knws what you think before you even think abt doing it. Get yourself busy, help your family, read quran, keep astagfirullah on your tongue and in your heart. Inshallah you will get thru this hard time.

    Allah hafiz

    ND, UK

    Reply
  3. Redwan Khan
    August 30, 2014 • 5:20 pm

    As salam alaikum...
    Sister,
    I must say that this is a problem currently faced by many teens.... Be in a state of wudhu always... Dnt stay up at nyt times.... I dunno much abt u.. So just in case u have any boyfriend .. befriend him immediately.... Watch islamic videos and all.... in sha allah u will refrain from such activities.... I understand that u might be thinking that it's really easy to read this but difficult to follow.... But trust me .... I did follow all this and now alhamdullilah i am not into masturbating anymore... Even i m a teen... So i guess this myt have helped u.....

    Reply
    • midnightmoon
      August 30, 2014 • 5:34 pm

      Assalaamualaikam

      When you say to "befriend" a boyfriend, what do you mean by that?

      Having a boyfriend is haraam, so if someone is involved in a pre-marital romantic relationship, they need to end that rather than continuing it.

      Midnightmoon
      IslamicAnswers.com editor

      Reply
  4. Redwan Khan
    August 30, 2014 • 5:20 pm

    As salam alaikum...
    Sister,
    I must say that this is a problem currently faced by many teens.... Be in a state of wudhu always... Dnt stay up at nyt times.... I dunno much abt u.. So just in case u have any boyfriend .. befriend him immediately.... Watch islamic videos and all.... in sha allah u will refrain from such activities.... I understand that u might be thinking that it's really easy to read this but difficult to follow.... But trust me .... I did follow all this and now alhamdullilah i am not into masturbating anymore... ... So i guess this myt have helped u.....

    Reply
  5. Sara
    August 31, 2014 • 6:20 am

    Salam,
    Sister you try to study islamic books, focus on your studies instead of time wasting activity . Try to think positive and live between your family members because whenever you alone you think bad and do wrong things because Shetan ( devoid ) is always with us.do excersise daily which keep you busy . Donnot do it again other wise you face periods problem or may be your pregnency takes time after marriage. I think it's not good thing afterarriage you face any problem about your child conceiving .

    Reply
  6. RecoveringPorn-Addict
    August 31, 2014 • 4:32 pm

    Breaking the chains of Pornography and Masturbation by chanting "Astaghfirullah"

    Salams,

    Shaitan is devouring souls through tools called pornography and masturbation, he is taking captives by millions each day in the chains of porn, it is probably his greatest tool.

    Most of us do not need any more reminders than we have already had on the dangers of watching porn and overmasturbation , but the fact of the matter is majority of us men & even women are finding it difficult to stay away from porn and masturbation.

    With porn and masturbation free streaks of 73 and 60+ days behind me,bad relapses after Ramadan, made it clear to me that the reason each time I relapsed was because the strong urges got better of me. To have attraction towards opposite sex is normal for guys, but to deal with a constant stream of excessive sexual thoughts, the need to stare and drool over opposite sex bodies on and off screen, need to fantasize sexual encounters regularly, edging with or without fantasy is far from normal.

    Approx two and half months ago with unanswered questions like why someone is inundated with hypersexual thoughts I came across this site http://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org/sexual-thoughts

    According to them the primary reason for abnormal sexual behaviour and excessive sexual thoughts is because of the influence of the devil(Satan) in the persons life and one of the remedy is chanting/reciting our creators (God) name repeatedly daily as per your religious beliefs.

    This was making complete sense to me and it was like I found the missing pieces of a puzzle.

    Now, Shaitan hates it when believers ask for forgiveness from Allah,as it neutralises Shaitan and his armies efforts and their grand plan of taking people to hell along with them on judgement day.

    So, I started reciting 100-200 times "Astaghfirullah"(I ask forgiveness from Allah) after each fard salat everyday. Immediately I could feel the difference, the urges were diminished and in the following two months I did not feel the need to watch porn or even a nude image on any day, even the ideal felt gross,also stopped objectifying real females whenever I saw them.

    Unfortunately, I became complacent and stopped the practice of reciting "Astaghfirullah"daily by the end of Ramadan and post Ramadan, the urges to masturbate & watch porn were back with a bang and I relapsed.

    Past 2-3 weeks have been very difficult for me , I have tried almost everything to stop the urges like cold showers, exercise, running, yoga,doing something else, limiting food consumption etc etc, but nothing seemed to help.

    Then, Allah had mercy on me,I remembered I have stopped the practice of chanting "Astaghfirullah" daily and forgot the purpose of the amal.

    So after Zuhar salat 10 days ago ,I recited "Astaghfirullah" for straight one hour and did it again yesterday. Alhamdulillah, the strong urges almost making me insane after Ramadan are all gone as if they have been crushed by a big rock boulder and I am feeling like a free man just out of prison. I feel like a man from whose head a huge weight has just been taken off. Insha-Allah I'll continue doing it like I did previously, chanting it 100-200 times or more after salat daily.

    The lesson to learn is if some amal ( in my case its reciting Astaghfirullah daily) works for you to stay away from a vice like porn, then be regular and relentless at doing that amal, as our enemy Shaitan is also relentless and prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour

    Note: Like all other dhikrs(remembrance of Allah) ,"Astaghfirullah" can be recited anytime during day and night, even when you are not in state of wudu' (ablution)[http://islamqa.info/en/8828 ].

    Reply
  7. Minerva Aphrodite
    September 8, 2014 • 2:46 pm

    Salam everybody,
    Just wanted to emind u that u didn't answer the girl's both questions! I mean the unanswered one was her wondering whether she is still virgin or not . Because i have a friend that masturbates too , and I keep advicing her but she never listens , so i really want an answer about this : Do girls lose their virginity because of masturbation?
    And thank u ^^

    Reply
  8. rockstar
    September 8, 2014 • 8:43 pm

    salam sister,
    girls do not loose their virginity by masturbation

    Reply
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