Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Mental confusion



This is my second or third post, hopefully this may be answered. The issue is I am in love with a girl, being a muslim, I know what it means.. so we have decided that before confirmation of nikkah we will be keeping a distance which includes telephonic conversations or whatsapp chatting, not too often. Issue is we are getting into fighting quite often now a days, although we had difference in opinions but sometimes it gets little too much. She has seen me in worst of times but she was there but sometimes it feels really maddening. I did istikhara after learning about it on this website however, sometimes it feels like all the elements are pushing us towards each other and at other time we are pushed apart. I am a moderately confident person and I rely on belief that Allah will grace me with a valid ending. But sooo much confusion. I pray salat time to time if not often, however I try to be a good human being by fulfilling hakook ul baad.
If find this issue valid do help.


Tagged as: , , , , , , , , , ,

7 Responses »

  1. Also in a same condition but i did not love someone its a marrige proposel in my family which had been delayed for 8 mounths nothing is final yet every times some problem happens but often i feel that every thing will be ok now because now i am also willing for this alince nd i am also realy confused these days

    • Hope is the one of the best things we can cling...hope that all will end in our favor..and Allah is there watching

    • Mehak: now because now i am also willing for this alince nd i am also realy confused these days

      You are still confused. Why were you not willing before? You need to resolve conflict in your mind about this proposal before you say "yes". If you don't like this guy, you may not like him after marriage. Have discussion with your family.

  2. Asalaam Walaikum.

    Sometimes when things are moving in opposite directions or if you feel as though obstacles are in they way ... Then this could be a sign from Allah. Always try to talk about stuff with family and elders and then make a decision.

    May Allah mak it easy on the Ummah ... Ameen.

    • yes i agree with this part. Obstacles should be considered really seriously. In my experience the obstacles that came in my way in a relation were best for me and im sure they all were from Allah swt to save me from something bad. Allah swt always listen us and he answers our prayers, we should ask for his guidance, he will guide us to the best.

      Allah swt never forgets us, he's always with us and his mercy surround us. we should be really thankful to him always.

  3. Honestly. Obstacles alone are hard to interpret. Just keep going back to your isthikara. Make it every time you feel unsure. I don't think it is a prayer you only pray once and be done with it. And make a lot of dua asking Allah to make it easy if it's meant to be or give you strength to let go if it is not.

    I suggest you talk to you fiance less and communicate with her family more. When/if you argue, her family knows her best and can possibly reason with her better. It's good to open communication with them before nikah because they will be your family in Sha Allah.

    I am engaged to marry and there seems to always be something. Either i am tense and argue with him or he is tense and argues with me. But when I make isthikara I feel confident in marrying him and everything happens smoothly.

    For example, I met my fiance and I liked him but he had no interest in me. I really cared for his family so I made dua and isthikara to see if I should just find a man who was interested in me. Because there were a couple. But after praying I felt a strong urge to stick around. After 1 year, finally he began to show interest. Then we start to argue because he is being jealous and not allowing me to go anywhere (not even married). So I make isthikara and dua again. Because I can find someone who is more liberal and allows me to go out when I want and trusts me. But then after one really horrible fight, his mom talked to him to make him understand and now he is much better (not perfect but much better). Then I'm getting tired of waiting and also I have no Wali. Then even, subhanAllah, the next day after my dua my boss from an Islamic school I worked at agreed to be my Wali and has met my fiance. And I'm feeling okay now.

    Some times doubts come from Shaitan, so to be certain then you must ask Allah swt everytime.

  4. All of you are right..however as i said things start moving to and fro....and i m really having hard time getting over because i feel if i do that, it will reflect my lack of willing or somthing like that....i want to keep trust in Allah and i have faith in him...however i feel hard to let it okay for me to be only one efforting party so that other one might understnd my loyalty of personality.

Leave a Response