Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Mistakes in the past…

past, present, future

Salam everyone,
I've been thinking a lot lately. I left a haram relationship over a month ago and I am happy to say that I am so much stronger in my faith and have changed for the better. One thing about it has been bothering me though. I would often tell him that I was being abused at home. A lot. It was for attention and looking back I wish I hadn't done so. I love my family so dearly and I don't want him to report it or anything like that. I just want to forget it. I was so stupid, so reckless. It was around when I was 15-barely 16. I'm 17 now. What should I do? I've repented and I just want this issue to go away, I don't want this to go further or hurt my family. I don't contact him at all and haven't since we split over a month ago. What should I do??
Thank you all so much,

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6 Responses »

  1. You made the right decision to leave a haram relationship. Everybody goes through ups and downs with family especially at your age. It is just a part of growing up and most people will take it as that even if he tells somebody. Just relax and move on in life.
    However, you learnt a lesson. Never say things just for the heck of it. We are responsible for our words and actions.

  2. Allah says: “Say: O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Sûrah al-Zumar: 53]

    Al-ḥamdu lillāh (: الحَمْد لله‎‎)

    You did sincere and proper repentance.

    There are conditions for repentance to be sincere and proper.

    This verse speaks about those who repent. It tells us that any sin, no matter how major, is expiated by sincere and proper repentance.

    forget past and start a new chapter of life
    islamic life,
    Insha Allah you're forgiven . amin

  3. Dear Hannat,
    Who's on Earth today that never make a mistake? Allah created us that way just to test how far we would be able to realize what we did was wrong. Now u know it was wrong and there must be a reason why Allah let you to all that. Maybe you didn't aware before but now you did. If let say, it evetually revealed. You just have to open up your heart and face it. Whenever you feel so down, do think about Allah. People will keep on talking to satisfy their need. You can not change the people but you can only change yourself.

  4. Salaam.

    You've done two sins here: 1. Haraam relationship. 2. Ghibah about your family.

    As far as you don't fall into these 2 sins again, you won't get to hear them again ever!


    • Salaam.

      You've done two sins here: 1. Haraam relationship. 2. Ghibah about your family.

      As far as you don't fall into these 2 sins again, you won't get to hear them again ever!

      And, again, As far as you take care of something which in your capacity, Allah (SWT) will take care of the things which are not in your capacity.


  5. Dear sister Hannat,

    Alhamdulillah you realised that what you were doing was a sin and you left it with remorse.

    Don't worry what you shared with that guy. In shaa Allah he won't use it against you at all because this would reveal his sins to others and in shaa Allah he doesn't want that. Have full trust in Allah swt.

    You are young. Focus on your studies - College/apprenticship/university. See what halal careers you are interested in and see what you will have to do to get there and then just do that.

    Constantly learn about Islam and more about attributes of Allah swt (who Allah is - His Power, His Qader, His Might, ...). And strive to be better Muslimah day by day.

    Socialise with your respected family. If your family is not sociable ppl, you try to do activities that will slowly make them more socialable. Such as go out for dinner* breakfast with them. Go for long weekend with whole family or siblings. Try to take part in your family matters - try to resolve their problems where you can. Help out with house work - tidying, cleaning, decorating, refurbishing etc

    Hang out with good Muslim and non muslim girls. Do volunteer work. Work on your hobbies and enhance your skills - sewing, cooking, painting, writing, and much more

    In shaa Allah you will be fine. And always have a smile on your face, xxx 🙂

    Best wishes,
    Sister, Me

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