I was molested and now I can’t stand to be noticed or praised
Assalamualaikum
I am a girl from India.My parents have taught me very well about Islam and I know what is wrong and right. But still sometimes I doubt if it is wrong or am I doing it correct. When I was a child one of my cousin and my madrassa sir have abused me which affect me mentally and physically and still I am not able to get rid of it. My parents doesnt know about this.
That was not the last time. It happened when I was 6 and I went to KSA when I came back for my summer vaccation on 2016 again I faced this problem from one of my another cousin brother. This problem lead me to do masturbation and I am still doing it because I am not able to get rid of the thoughts I get. Even though I dont want to do that I couldnt keep it up with. I am depressed stressed my anxiety is killing me.
I couldnt remember anything I study. I want to get close to Allah but my laziness is not allowing me. I want to share my problems with Allah rather than with people. Nowadays my prayer is not in time. And if someone say anything good about me for eg. I look good. The next day I get sick or if someone say my dress looks good. For sure I wont wear that dress for so long. Once my teacher said said that "she have a smile in her lips everytime I see her which is a very good habit." What I noticed is I didnt have that smile on my face anytime longer.
When I noticed that I am easily getting eyes of others i searched for a dua and I say it whenever someone say good about me. Actually they are trying to say good things about me which effect me worsly.
I need a release from shaythan, laziness, depression....everything please Help me get rid of it. Please Guide me to the rightous path of Allah(swt) with his words. May allah grant you Jannah and forgive your sin.Aameen.
Include me In your Prayers.
-Fazsafe
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Masha'Allah wa La'hala wa La' Qawata Illah bila
للهم لا تؤاخذني بما يقولون ،واجعلني خيرا مما يظنون, واغفر لي ما لا يعلمون
Allahumma la tu akhidhniee bi ma yaqooloon, waj ‘ alni khayrun mimma yazoun-noon, wag’hfirlee li ma la ya’lamoon)
“may Allaah not call me to account for what they say and forgive me for what they have no knowledge of and make me better than they imagine.
Here a du'a you can say, In shaa Allah could help, may it be a blessing for you. May Allah heal you of this affliction, part of your healing you must tell your parents, at least one of your parents or family or leader of your community you trust. Keeping it a secret, gives shaytan a way to bother you. What your cousins did was a shame on them not you. But you must stop them before they bother someone else. Continue to make du'a,strengthen your salah, salah is a very important part in your healing and fast. May Allah bless you to continue to grow stronger, guide you to the best way of healing, purify you from this desire and bless you with patience during your healing and after. In shaa Allah recite this du'a, it's a du'a for protection. May Allah protect you, heal you and guide you to the best help and healing for you.Ameen! In shaa Allah these 2 du'as will be a blessing for you.
I'm a sister, I got this du'a from the brother below.
Remember to recite this 3 times in the morning and 3 times in the evening for protection from all evil.
بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الَّذِي لاَ يَضُرُّ مَعَ اسْمِهِ شَىْءٌ فِي الأَرْضِ وَلاَ فِي السَّمَاءِ وَهُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ
Bismillaahil-lathi la yaDorro ma’asmehe shay’on feel-ArDe wala fees-samaa’ wa who-wa As-samee’o Al-Aleem.
Do your best to share this with your friends and family. May Allah bless you and protect you
By Majed Mahmoud
from website muslimmatters