Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Molested as a child and now I get urges

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse is global problem.

Assalam u Alaikum,

It's a personal question but need to ask this

When i was kid i was kinda forced into adultery by some other mates who were girls and before this thing i was kinda forced by a guy who was abnormal.

i don't remember that much about it but i remember i was forced to kiss him, and after this incident i was forced for other stuff. i used to be very scared of it but after sometime i was kinda addicted to it and end up forcing a young girl for adultery and used to get urges to see some vulgar stuff and lust took over me.

but naturally i was fine after few years i was back to normal. though i used to feel guilty for forcing that young girl to do stuff.

But since few months or a year i am getting the same urges and usually ending up to watch online stuff in the beginning i was trying to avoid it and was feeling kinda ashamed of it but now i am not really ashamed of it and ending up to watch that vulgar stuff and i feel nothing anymore.

i really don't care about any stuff that much as i use to like hell, heaven, or pain of grave which is sad part how i turn out to be. The lust is taking over me.

help me if u can or please pray for my hidayah. please i can't share this with anyone. Help me, I don't wanna think this way but i am thinking that way only.

And what should I do? I tried different stuff for avoiding it but usually end up at same place.

I am 19 year old.

- Shafia

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16 Responses »

  1. Salamu Alykum. I can understand what your going through. I have been through what you are going through though I have not forced anyone I turned to porn at an early age. and am now fighting an addiction. My advice to you is to listen to islamic lectures on porn addiction. This is helping me bring back my lost Iman. I am nowhere near saved but I am slowly returning. About forcing girls I would advise you to remember how you felt when it happened to you. would you want your mother, daughter or sister to be forced? The only person that is worst than a sinner is the one who does not repent.

    • Walikum'Salam wr wb.....

      Jazak'ALLAH khair fid'daariyein.

      I tried looking for Islamic Lectures and did listened to 'em, but I am at same place as I was...

  2. Assalamualaikum,

    Sister Shafia, people turn to pornography when they are exposed to stuff that are explicit. It is mostly done by people around us, either wantedly or unwantedly.

    When a person is addicted to porn, it becomes like a drug addiction. You can not do without it. It is a disease but it is not untreatable. You need to know what the problem is and how it can be solved.

    In your case, it is addiction to porn. Next, find out what leads you to watch porn and keep away from it. And whenever you are tempted, ask yourself: " what will I get from this? Will it benefit me in any way or will it be a witness against me before Allah?" Doesn't this make you shiver out of fear? If Allah Is Angry, none can help us, we can do nothing. So why not take heed before we actually reach that day? Have this fear whenever you are tempted and keep away from the sources of porn.

    You need to strive to get over this. Consider yourself ill and refrain from things that will make you further ill.

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  3. salam sister...i advice u not to use too much net or any other source,,, and just mantain five time prayers, i was having same problem, but when i started five times prayer, and pray for Allah's love. He gifted me with it.and gradually all of my habits removed, and i become strong to defend these evils...Try to join islamic societies, make ur self religious, and friends too...

    remember people dont know about ur sins and Allah is hidding it, then He can also revail it, if ur family and friend know about ur sins then how shameful it may be for u,so how can u bear shame at the day of judgment, when no one can one can save u from the fire.
    u are lucky because still u are alive, and Allah is giving u time for returning,,so repent in this world, dont take benefit if Allah is hidding it..
    only constantly avoiding and repent from sin can remove ur guilt,nothing else in this world.

    and kindly can tell me, how to submitt my question there?.. Allah bless u

  4. Cure Porn Addiction through Ayat-ul-Kursi- A verse of The Quran watch latest vid youtube(dot)com/watch?v=kM9gfn8GL5I

  5. assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatahu my younger and elder brothers and sisters.....

    I know that i am not that intel to giv u guys a long lecture about islam but a simple way to get control on your nafs or to control the shaitan in you is just recite ya mumeedh while you go to bed at night or while you go to sleep at night

    • What is the meaning of 'ya mumeedh'?

      SisterZ Editor

      • Probably he is referring to Al-Mumeet, one of the names of Allah (The Giver of Death).

        Sarfaraz, there is no "simple way" to control your nafs or to control the Shaytan. It takes constant spiritual work, 'ibadah, and striving to improve. I wish it were as easy as just reciting one of the names of Allah, but it's not.

        Wael Editor

        • Train to condition your mind, heart.

        • assalamualikum bhai of course with out duas and prayers v are able to do nothng i agree with but if it was so den even the lahol wala quwata illabilla hil ali ul azim wouldn't have introduced to us,,,, this is too control the nafs ryt (to get the shaitan away from us)? in the same way there are some or the other solution in islam to help us .........

      • it means the helper

  6. tip: you guys need to recite it while you go to sleep at night till you go asleep...till you go asleep you need to recite it till your eyes get closed because of the sleep.... K i think you are getting what i am trying to explain you guys if you are not gettin it then pls contact me at (email address deleted)

  7. another tip: is that when you feel tempted up these things happen in your body and they are your heart beat gets much faster, next, coz of the faster heart beat your blood pressure gets fasten coz of the fasten blood pressure your body' s temperature gets hotter then your brain releases the tempting harmones in to your blood hence the blood is moving fast in your body the harmones wil also move faster

  8. so u get tempted and just u need to do is to control ur breath if u control it it controls ur heart beat,blood pressure,temperature of body and the flow of harmones.......

  9. You are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's pretty common amongst people who are abused sexually as children. Do not feel guilty as it is NOT your fault. Pray as much as you can and I would suggest that you should seek professional help as soon as possible.

  10. Salam alaykom

    What kind of porn are you addicted to? The same violent, sexual things done to children as you yourself was forced doing? That is not porn addicition, it's probably more a way for your mind to cope with what you were put through. You didn't like it, you were forced to it. Even small children exposed to sexual abuse often start "wanting" it and taking the initiative to "seduce" the adult. It does not mean that a child likes to be sexually abused or really want to engage in it. It is complicated, and there's alot of information about why it happens, if you just do a simple google search. I urge you to talk to a psychologist because this will not go away on its own.

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