Islamic marriage advice and family advice

His Mom has already selected another girl for him!

Why can't we be together?

Why can't we be together?

Salam

I don't know how to begin talking about my problem........so I'm just gonna start..........

I'm 19 yrs old and a medical First year student.

I had a teacher who from the very first day started staring at me n also stalking me at times. At first I ignored all of this.But couldn't avoid him as he was my teacher and he had classes with me. Actually he is quite young-- 27 yrs old. I don't know when but I started having feeling for him too. But we still hadn't told each other anything...but it was quite obvious from my face that I like him....... but eventually we did start a contact...... at first he was like I only want to help u cuz I've seen everything in your eyes that you are very depressed.....and it wa true I had depressions cuz of some reasons......

So the point is his intentions were not so bad. He only wanted to help me but along the way he started to have feelings for me............

He told me about his past too.........He fell in love with a girl who ditched him for someone else n he told me that he was not a virgin......but he was very sorry about it.....he went to Umrah after that n also changed so much.........

He had always been honest with me n he told me that he would only marry me if his mother said yes............

After 6 months of a relationship, he talked to his mother about me.........n his mom said that she has already decided upon agirl for him who is his cousin too.......n that she would never say yes to someone who is from a different cast........(We are from the same country, we live in the same city, we just have different languages)

I don't know what to do now......... His mother hasn't even met me ever..... N he says that he will try to convince his mom but if she said no then their will be a no............but I don't see him trying at all.........his mom thinks right now that the relationship is over n it is sort of over.......but still we do talk..........

Please any advices.....

I still love him..........n he is also very guilty for putting me in a situation like this cuz this is mostly his fault.

He wanted to take me out of this depression instead he gave me more!

Is it ok to have hope that his mom might think about me?

Depressed19

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6 Responses »

  1. haraam relationship always ends in depression....think...pray to Allah to show straight path....

  2. There are truly basic and unique three types of relationship exist !

    Let me explain:

    The three basic relationships are:

    1. The relationship with Lord, Allah
    2. The relationship between Husband and Wife.
    3. The blood relationships.

    Other than that there are many relationship exists which are mostly resulted by the deception of Demon (Satan, Iblis, Jinn)

    N.B. No1. relationship plays also plays a vital role in establishing friendship between two human beings.

    If you ready to get marry than it's better you seek for marry someone by exploiting your parents or by yourself. But remember that in Quran SECRET LOVE is prohibited. Please read the Verse:

    Sura Maida 5: Verse 5:

    [5:5] Today, all good food is made lawful for you. The food of the people of the scripture is lawful for you. Also, you may marry the chaste women among the believers, as well as the chaste women among the followers of previous scripture, provided you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain chastity, not committing adultery, nor taking secret lovers. Anyone who rejects faith, all his work will be in vain, and in the Hereafter he will be with the losers.

  3. As-salamu Alaykum,

    Your teacher should not have done this. He knows that you are young while he is in a position of authority over you. It is highly unprofessional for a professor to initiate relationships with students in this manner, and I would frankly not be surprised if he does the same with other students. Alhumdulellah that he did not try to use the relationship to blackmail you or threaten your grades (it happens more often than you may think). Sister, you are still young, and I would say just forget this man. He is wasting your time and may cause you problems in the future if you keep talking to him. If he wants to marry you, let him approach your family in the correct manner. Otherwise, he has no business talking to you. My daughter is close to your age and I have already warned her about professors who prey on impressionable girls...so the advice I am giving you is the advice I would give my own daughter. The professor-student thing is an old story that's been played out many times, and it rarely leads to something good. Also, I cannot stand men who get involved with girls but then defer the final decision about marriage to their mothers. It is fine to listen to your mother and seek her advice, but if this is the route you are taking, then you shouldn't be pursuing girls your mom doesn't approve of. Such behavior is utterly childish and immature.

  4. 19 years old and you already had the guts to talk to a guy of wanting to marry you. I was at college at that time too busy learning teacher or no teacher I dare not to look at a guy or approach at such matter.

    Having said that you should move on and except it wasn't meant to be. Concentrate on your studies and once you finish you can think about marriage. Count your blessings nothing else happened this is a blessing from Allah to you.

  5. If he really wants u he will take tge lead ...n nt give up ...on u

  6. salam sister
    you should stop talking to him immediately as you are upsetting allah.
    spread your hands infront of allah and ask Him whatever you want !!
    you should keep up the hope that yah he will talk to his mom but if you want Allah's help in this situation then you will have to listen to Him.
    right now you are just adding up the anger of allah by having a constant relationship with him. tell him that if he is serious then talk to his mom and if he doesnt then STOP talking to him.

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