Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Mom issues

Muslim woman in hijab

My siblings and I were born and raised in New York, 7 years ago my mom moved us all to Egypt for safer life, because my older brother started expirementing with drugs and it became a problem, so Egypt was the best choice she can think of. At that time I was 17 and in my senior year in high school and I was being forced out of school to live in Egypt. I started to act out because I felt so mistreated that I had to suffer and lose my education that only I cared about. I stayed in Egypt the rest of the year till I turned 18 and snuck out and got a ticket and left on my own and went back to New York and lived with my father. I went back to school and went to college and graduated now I have a job in a bank.

Every year I visit my family in Egypt but my mother makes me feel guilty for not living there with them and tells me that Allah will never allow me to live a happy blessed life if I'm far from my mother. I tried for one year to live in Egypt with them, to make her happy and I hated it, I have no friends and can't find a job in Egypt, I was so depressed and no one cared. I love my family so much and I wish we can live in one home and I love Egypt but I wasn't raised there I don't like living there and I am so lonely there it feels like a bad dream when I go. I'm becoming more and more depressed as I get older because I feel like I cannot make my mom happy. She also tries to make me live there by fining me husbands there and they really aren't my type and I cannot relate to them. I'm also afraid to marry because if I marry a Muslim living in a America it still isn't good enough for her and my marriage will be cursed.

I just want to live a happy life, what should I do, force myself to live in Egypt and force myself to marry in Egypt and stay there? Some friends say to find a husband in America and marry and live there, but I don't know what the right choice is.


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2 Responses »

  1. Well it's sounds to me your mother is being unreasonable , so I think what you need to do is to try to be a good muslim and show her you can make it in U.S. , and we Muslims have to lower our wing of humility when we're talking to our parents so even though you have your differences with your mother you have to treat her with patience and out most respect and always with a smile and be more present in her life . We have to be patience with our families that's like a very big rule in islam .

  2. Don`t give in to emotional blackmail. Because that`s what she is doing, even if she is not aware of it: she is trying to make you feel guilty for her own interests. If she so desperately wants to be with you, why does she not move back to New York? Is there any reason for her to remain in Egypt? Were the 7 years that passed not enough for your brother to grow up and get stable? Does he still need to hold on to mommy`s hand?

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