IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice

Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullah Wabarakahtuhu.

I am a 19years male from UK originally from Lahore, Pakistan. I have fallen in love with my second cousin (maternal uncles' daughter) who is in Pakistan, this happened 3 years ago when I went for holidays. Family relations in the family are not considered odd, it is actually a tradition in our families. As in Pakistan, the girls are engaged at maybe at around age of 19 or 20. In my family, I took the step of taking my dad into trust and telling him the situation in Pakistan when I was only 16 so he knew in his head that I liked and loved her and she also loves me alot. He agreed at the time and said inshallah we'll talk about it when we get back to England just enjoy for now and inshallah we'll discuss it.

My dad spoke to my mother, and the response wasn't what I expected; she was against it and brought up what happend between her and her sister-in-law (girls mother). And she generally said Pakistani girls are too clever, cunning etc etc and how can you even think of this stuff at this age etc. The funny thing I found was the fact that I thought they would be happy as I chose someone in her family, but she was totally against it. So, I suffered 2 years, we used to email and I took a little step down and discussed with the girl that it's too hard etc because I was a kid, I am still young and couldn't take a stand for anything.

But just recently she came with her family to the UK, for a holiday, and all of a sudden the same feelings came again, even though I thought we would be strong inshallah when she comes, and we'd have a good time and we both depart again. But we both again started talking properly, and we love each other sooo much. I love everything about her and same from her side. I have thought so ahead with her. But the thing prventing is family politics from my side, and the cultural things. There family is not into this stuff. I am stuck in the middle.

So basically I am in 1st year in University; 3 yrs to go and after that I am going to be working inshallah. My dad noticed that I am quite after they went back just last month and came to me and asked whats up with u, you are in the same mood  you were 3 years ago etc. And I told him, same thing he said, that he will try to convince my mother but it seems very hard but, don't keep ur hopes high. What I am going through is I am paranoid, mum talks to my sisters and I keep thinking they're saying stuff  agianst her, and me. But the thing is that they don't have a valid reason to refuse our marriage. I did a lot of dua in ramadhan alhamdulillah. Had good dreams seeing me and her and my family. But I am afraid her rishta will come soon and afriad I am going to lose her.

Is there antyhing I can do? I am so paranoid, and quiet, and I am also memorizing the Quran on 24th juz. But this is my only wish with her but seems impossible at the moment.

Plz give me your advice Akhis and Ukhtis

Wasalam,

Waseem.