Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My mother-in-law uses abusive language and mentally harasses me.

Angry in-laws

In-laws

Assalamualaikum,

I am from India and belong to very good family. Right from childhood, me and my siblings have never gotten my father's support and love. My mom took care of us alone so well. She educated us and gave us every support. My mum always prayed  to Allah for only our happiness and good life, though she has faced lot of problems in her life.

I got married on December 22 , 2013. It's been just one and half months and my life has changed totally. It's hurting me every moment. Alhumdulilah my husband is a very good man and he loves me very much, but the problem is with his mother. During the wedding she said she doesn't want anything as dowry etc, and marriage was simple and good. But after the marriage she was taunting me every moment for the simple wedding, that my family did not serve them properly, that my mother did not give any dowry, etc and more and more things. She kept hurting me by talking bad about my mom and family. I showed lots of patience, but things were getting worse. My husband supported me a lot even though he was watching all his mother was saying and doing. She fights with me for no reason.

Since my wedding, I am often not well and keep having headaches and fever. Doctors have said to go on bed rest, but she makes me do household work though knowing I am not well. She forced me to eat beef that I don't like, and I am allergic to it so I vomitted. She makes issue for everything. Allah knows well I have tried my best to adjust, but I am helpless. She started being more abusive by using foul language, saying I am doing black magic on her son.  She is blaming me for things I never did.

I am mentally tired and I can't take this anymore. She treats me like maid. I have four brothers in law, and she wants me to serve them when I told her clearly they are ghair mehram and I can't do that. So she says to think of them like my brothers. But when I think of them like my brothers she says I have no shame.

Allah please help me.  🙁  I don't want to live there. I want my husband to give me a separate house and privacy, because everyday I feel I am doing sin as my brothers in law are always in the hall and the house is very small that I have to face them.  🙁  My question is, what does islam says about the mother in law and her rights on the daughter in law? My mother in law says she and my father in law are first, and then my husband. It is so painful.

I want to live a happy life with my hubby, and even he wants to get out of house, but they are emotionally trapping us by saying bahu and sasural rules. I want to know what islam says about  mothers-in-law and in laws.

-aymanimran


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31 Responses »

  1. I have a similar problem too..... So, please reply... I also want to know what Islam says about this...

    Rgds,
    Nilofer

  2. asslamoalikum

    ur storey is my past and u can say little present still. only difference is ur in laws siblings as I got my in laws sibling married and my husband was divorced. so my mother in law even interfere in my privacy with my husband she taunt me for dowry for every work even cloth I wear she swears me. its not mother in laws fault its our husband fault coz they let their mother what she want to do and they forget she is their mother not our, as I complain my husband said its my mother habit she keep carry on and then divorce is only way seem even my family want me to get separate becoz my husband also swears me he said his mother got right to do and she is right as I ma religious alhumdulliah my husband also when I ask its my religious right I don't want to stay with ur family then he said he cant do this wht world said I got first miscarriage then I got second miscarriage and according to my mother in law she said I dnt have capability of having kids I cant b mother ever but almighty Allah bless me with daughter (at my daughter birth she make issue she want a grand son) even in hospital she cross not care I got emergency c section and Allah gave life to me and my daughter and my daughter was on oxygen supply. this long ago after even my daughter my husband change but not in my mother in law matter I was pregnant by forth month my husband hit me so bad not even care abt my pregnancy but later he ask to forgive him and now I got and son and daughter things still same my mother in law come and she taunt me different ways, once my sister in law ask her wht wrong y she taunt me she said she dnt like my face and she dnt know y whenever she sees me she feel to taunt. still she doing but less now.my all in laws accept what their mother doing to me is not right but they helpless bcoz they cant stop her becoz to them she is in that age she cant understand. I am not complaining but mention so u can feel whatever happing to u its not new in Asia its common.
    my advise to u just make sabar its very hard but if u took to much on u its not good for ur health and ur relation as wife. today I got my home after 8 years so keep sabar make dau inshallah one day come when every thing fine for u. its very hard to do but I always ask in tahajud time and Allah listen alhumdulliah my life much easier now. My kids and my husband is my life I dnt be now tention wht she said y she said so sister understand and use to this.Inshallah u gonna make sabbar and sit in ur own house with lovly kids and loving husband inshallah (like me)
    Allah makes every thing easy for u amin

  3. Assalamualaikum.
    I am sorry to hear your problem.

    Dear,

    It i very important that you respect your husband and your mother-in-law. But in Islam the wife does not have to obey anyone among her in-laws, whether that is her husband’s father, mother, brothers or sisters, in any matter, major or minor, unless they tell her to do something which is obligatory according to Islam, or forbid her to do something that is haraam. In such matters she has to obey, whether that comes from a relative or a stranger, an in-law or anyone else.
    (source: http://islamqa.info/en/6388)

    If your mother-in-law ask u to do anything that is against Islam, don't do it. You have t be strong and be patient to show her your stand! One day, inshaAllah she will get tired of asking u to do anything that is wrong in Islam.

    Don't think too much about people's judgement on you. Try to put Allah's judgement at the highest point. If u follow Islamic path, who do u think is walking with you? The answer is Allah! The One who creates you and your mother-in-law! You are strong when Allah is with you! You never weak when Allah is with you..

    Try to respect your mother-in-law and show your love towards her. Love her because of Allah. If u love somebody because of Allah, u will do anything that it takes to make the person happy because you want to please Allah.

    Lastly, if it is me, I will try my best to convince my husband to find new house and move to the new house. I don't feel safe to live with my brothers-in-law...

    Make lots of prayers. Pray for your mother-in-law and your family.
    It is important to respect them. But respecting Allah is farrrrr more important.

    -This is an advice to myself too

  4. Sister, you have a right to live in your own home, I would tell my husband I can't live here anymore. Move out as soon as you can. If not, move out to your parents temporarily if you are really uncomfortable.

    You don't have to do house work, and you don't have to be forced to eat anything you want. Your husband has to stand up for you and have a serious talk with his mother.

    Your mother in law sounds abusive, and I would be suffocated if I had to live with my brothers in law all the time.

    Hope you find a solution sister.

    Make iistikhara and trust that Allah has a plan,...but don't let them abuse you sister, stand up for yourself.

  5. Assalam alaikum Sister,

    Your husband comes first when it comes to your marriage. As far as I know though, he can't force you to do work for your in-laws and it doesn't sound like he does. I don't know why Muslims do not look at the examples of our Prophets and see that daughter-in-laws did not live with the family in one house and struggle to have a voice, an opinion, some respect, some privacy, you name it. Even after giving dowry, girls living like this, can't even "purchase" respect. It boils down to a philosophy that is unIslamic and a cultural value that diminishes the value of one woman.

    You really won't be able to change the culture of where you live in a moment or a day. I have a few suggestions, but you will have to be strong. What I will suggest to you is based on the fact that you said your husband is loving and a very good man and the fact that you live in India where this is all very normal. Because your husband is loving and caring-this is a HUGE asset for you, so value your husband very much by showing him respect and love.

    For the time that you are living with your in-laws, respect everyone but focus on yourself, and your husband. Do the things that you can do and that are reasonable. Talk to your husband about this, but don't nag and complain. If there is something that you can't do, don't answer back and be disrespectful, be kind in your response or at the very least, not rude back. The truth is, you won't be able to win their respect if your family gave dowry, or if you sweep the floor from bottom to top 10 times a day, or if you cook amazing food, or whatever you do, because, based on what you have said, your in-laws have unreasonable expectations from you. In cases where daughter-in-laws surpass those expectations, even then, some in-laws just think the girl is being manipulative (and that happens too). My point is, don't try to prove yourself one way or the other.

    The bottom line that you need to understand:
    Be a good wife to your husband, do your duties out of love and compassion for him, and IGNORE the negativity (the hardest part).

    As for moving out, your husband will have to understand that his parents will never understand. I know this culture well and his parents aren't going to change. He needs to realize that he can be a dutiful son while NOT living in the house. You said you have three brother-in-laws. It is very possible for the 4 brothers to pool their money and have someone help in the house. This problem is only going to compound as more brothers get married. I don't think it is really reasonable for you to be living with the family given that there are 3 brothers-in-law. I am not against taking care of parents, but it is something that has to be handled delicately, responsibly and with love on all sides. Perhaps the children can sit down and come up with a solid plan for their parents and their well-being and while ignoring the emotional blackmail from their parents, do what has to be done for their family, rather than expecting a single girl to save the household.

    May Allah increase your love between you and your husband, put ease and respect between your relationship with your parents-in-law and bring peace to your life, Ameen.

  6. Assalam.

    I love Sister Saba's response, MashaAllah.

    Sister Jannat says have sabr
    However, sister Aymanimran please, note that Sabr does not mean you have to put up with this abuse. Sabr in this situation means you have to take actions to protect yourself, your marriage and your Dean although remaining considerate toward each family member, including your mother-in-law.

    I too showed love, respect, patience (for 15 years!!!) for the sake of Allah to my mentally, emotionally and verbally abusive mother-in-law (may Allah's Peace and Mercy be with her- she passed away since. May Allah forgive me, but I don’t have intention in talking bad about deceased person, it is for the sake of advice only).
    She did not change her ways a bit, furthermore she did everything possible to destroy my marriage and succeeded- in the meantime I damaged my health, it has been 7 years and I am still recovering.

    My advice to sister Aymanimran- please move out from this house, from this toxic environment as soon as possible, it seems your husband is being supportive and understanding, so say Alhamdullilah.
    Stand your grounds firmly, have some respect for yourself and do not let anyone cross boundaries of decency. Do not play a “victim” role here- you have a right to be treated kindly and fairly , so stand up for it, otherwise people will walk all over you. Perhaps this is a lesson for you for the future to learn how to defend yourself from unjust people like your MIL.
    Cry to Allah (SWT) He answers to the dua of the oppressed. He is The Best Protector, Most Merciful.
    There is Hadith in which the Prophet (SAW) said, “Three types of people’s Duas are not rejected:
    1) At the time of Iftar the person who has fasted
    2) Adil ruler’s Dua
    3) The Dua of the oppressed. Allah raises the Dua of the oppressed on the clouds and the doors of heaven are opened for it and Allah says, “Oath of MY Majesty and Honor! I will help and aid you. Even though if the help is after few days.” (Tirmidhi)
    Alhamdullilah, Allah SWT heard my prayers and got me out of the similar situation. My husband ended up divorcing me under his mother’s pressure; however I believe that it was Allah SWT’s plan, and He knows what is best for me.

    May Allah SWT give you strength, patience and wisdom during this difficult situation and May He protect your marriage and help and guide you in all aspects of your marriage life. May He give Hidaya to your mother-in-law and turn her heart toward true Islam . Amen.

  7. Respected Sister Ayman Imran,
    Looking and analyzing your words I can say masha'Allaah you have a very firm belief in Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) and Allaah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) Has Put you in a trial and hardship. Sister, this is very difficult situation you are in. I have seen alhumdulillah gulf, India and Pakistan and there people as well. Now, what you need to do is make her busy. She is not very good at education side. And it is almost impossible for her to digest your high character and education. She is almost not good at dealing with people.

    Most of the scenarios like yours, things became more complicated and result in separation of husband and wife. Of course I will not recommend you to go with the flow. You are in a very narrow situation of dealing with the relationships here. My first advice is to make her a friend which you already did and it is not working. Now you need to work on your husband for a separate apartment. Now, she will start to do magic on you without letting you both know. Sorry, to say but I know her psyche alhumdulillah! Because she thinks that you have done a magic on her son so she will also do a magic might be on her son or on you to get a grip on you too. Allaah Forbade Amen!

    You should better be careful from now on. She is the one who is not liked by anyone from childhood. And she thinks that everyone hates her. And her thinking mechanism is negative and destructive. Of course she does not realize all that. Because she is not educated. But I must say you take your husband to some educated person (female) and discuss the issue. Otherwise, things will get worse.

    Oh Allaah Help them amen!

    Allaah Knows the Best!

  8. Asak ,

    Best solution is to get separate house and stay but your husband needs to be in touch with his mother.
    Initial phase will be very complex for your husband as he might get lot of taunt from his own parents ,brothers and others for setting up a separate house but he should understand that there is no other option ....

    That is what happens in Indian culture where husband too got screwed up from both the sides after marriage..

    Allah hafiz

  9. Salam alakom sister!

    I am in the exact same situation as you so I understand your pain! It is so difficult! I just stay quiet and don't respond when my mother in law talks badly about me (to my father in law in front of me) or insults me. I am expected to cook for all four of us, clean the entire house daily and work full time 5 days a week even though her and my father in law don't work and are home the whole day. Whatever I do is never good enough! What she is doing is wrong, why should You join in with her? It's very difficult when your husband doesn't stand up for you! Keep praying, Allah is watching! This is a test and you are only tested with what you can handle. Don't be rude to her (which I'm sure your not) and put your husband first.

  10. Salamalaykum all,

    I read thru everyones posts. I am in that kinda situation myself and completely understand what a woman goes thru. It is truly deadly! I would like to briefly explain such behavior of inlaws - when they came as brides they were treated like that and when they survived psychology confirms that abuse leads to abuse. Rarely a God fearing person would not abuse their daughter inlaws but non God fearing ones would definitely get back as they think that if we survived then why can't she. And allow me to explain here that it's NOT THE MOTHER INLAW WHOSE BAD BEHIND THE BAD WOMAN ARE THE MEN! Our natural fitra goes against abusing anyone and I can assure you if it's just your mother in law or sister in law whose abusive YOU ALONE ALONG WITH YOUR CHILDREN CAN TAKE A STAND FOR YOUR RIGHT, NOT TO HARM THEM BUT TO PROTECT URSELF FRO THEIR HARM. But I guarantee that their power and consistent bad behavior is bcuz even if the mother in law is above 50 until she dies their husbands do abuse them mentally if not in front of you but definitely behind ur back. These mother in laws and sister in laws are actualy threatened by father in laws and brother in laws that if he wud divorce their mother if she doesnt be bad towards the daughter in law.

    Look out for what I have said above half of ur problem is solved because you now know WHY AND WHOSE THE CAUSE as WOMAN ALONE CANNOT STAND AGAINST ANOTHER WOMAN. My father in law is the one who in his room abuses my mother in law and i overheard their conversation once telling her to do this and that to me. Since then I indirectly in my conversations let my mother in law know that I know that its my father in law. Next when he or my husband or my brother in law complained about their father being abusive I casually shrugged it off my shoulder saying You guys are men if anything can change its you who can change it not ME!

    today my husband has decided to move out alhumdulillah. I had patience for more than five years and took me these many years to understand their culture.

    I wud suggest that you seek A POLITE BUT A VERY VERY FIRM TALK BETWEEN UR INLAWS HUSBAND AND YOUR HOUSEHOLD and dont focus on their behavior say you need space for your children as they growing up and want another house. first speak to ur husband once he sees that the reason for having own place is different from their family behavior he can see the goodness insha Allah. remember if u have ur family come in to talk make sure you also bring you grandparents and PEOPLE WHO HAVE AUTHORITY MAY BE DOCTORS OR ENGINEERS OR SOMEONE HIGHLY RESPECTED IN UR FAMILY BOTH RELIGIOUS AND NON RELIGIOUS PEOPLE

    Perhaps sisters may disagree with my way but what I went thru and what the other sisters are going thru we together need to change this trend as we r still alive , I KNOW WOMEN who killed, burnt or have chronic diseases JUST BCUZ OF INLAWS !

    We are respectable women who MARRIED THEIR SONS TO GV THEM COMFORT FOR ENTIRE LIFE . This DOWRY IS MORE THAN ANY OTHER DOWRY A PERSON CAN GIVE,period.

    Also sister in this situation go with the flow SHOW THAT U R HURT BY THEIR BEHAVIOR WHICH IS WHAT THEY WANT BCUZ IF U IGNORE AND THEY SEE YOU HAPPY AND NOT BEING BOTHERES BY THEIR BEHAVIOR NEXT LEVEL COMES AND A HARDER BAD BEHAVIOR SHOWS UP.Its never ending and wont end until U LEAVE THAT PLACE . Even if it takes a few years for ur children to grow up and to make ur husband realise do it dont b hasty in this. Ur growing children are a strength for u and they will speak up for you in fornt of ur husband. do explain ur children to respect their father and others but to speak the truth.Truth has come to prevail sisters. It takes time but it wins . so dont take things to ur heart know its all a drama and a setup so
    Salamalaykum warahmatullah

  11. Assalam o alikum
    I am 10 months married and 5 months pregnant. I belong to a cultured and well educated family. I am facing the same situation my MIL is very possessive about her son she interferes in our life from the first day of our wedding. she comes in our room without knocking also takes bath in our washroom when my husband is not home she would not let me sleep by coming and going in our room taunts on everything also abuses verbally and physically. I have tried telling my husband several times but I am a weak soul I can't fight with him what I do is only inform him which doesnot leave any strong impression. However she yells and shouts, blames me for things I never do she's proven me an ill mannered person and wants me to serve my brother in laws but stops me from doing the same for my husband. also from day 1 she's never allowed me to eat with my husband. she does all that behind his back so he never thinks she's wrong. now we both got Australian immigration and he has moved there on 24th December but she won't let me go there even my husband says that he will ask her permission first. I am really stressed because 10 months of wedding and I haven't enjoyed a single day. she even went on our honeymoon with us. shs always hangs with us or you can say they both tag me along with them in courtesy. I am fed up and tired of my life. my husband was very cooperative in the beginning but now she has filled him up a lot and now before leaving abroad we had a fight and now I don't feel he's the same person anymore. I am not strong I need inspiration my parents are very supportive MashAllah but a life without husband is very difficult. please tell me what to do.

    • AW: now we both got Australian immigration and he has moved there on 24th December but she won't let me go there ....... she even went on our honeymoon with us. ....... we had a fight and now I don't feel he's the same person anymore. ........ please tell me what to do.

      Don't fight with your husband or MIL. Try to get message across that if baby is born in Australia he/she will be Australian citizen and your medical care and new baby's will be much better in Australia. Tell your MIL you will invite her to Australia around delivery time. She may not even get the Visa.

      Is there a date before which you have to move to Australia to keep that immigration valid? Move to Australia before that.

      I am surprised your husband took your MIL to his honeymoon and she went with you guys. Did you let sleep togather on your honeymoon?

      • Oh my goodness! She went to the honeymoon wjth you guys! What is wrong wjth your hhsband!! Have you spoken to your parents about this??? I really hope inshaAllah that you are able to move out and live seperately with your hubby. This isn't right! Well done for being so patient

      • Yeah he asked her and she immediately packed her things up even though she was suffering from fever. She wanted us to book one room only however my husband didn't agree, we slept together but every morning she would knock on our room at 6 am as she's an early riser. Wherever we go she would take him with her and I am the one left behind walking alone. Feels so awkward.

        • AW: Your MIL wanting to sleep in the same room with you and your husband is really weird.

          This reminded of a story I read in Dailymail website. I want to share the story so that this never happens to any one else. Some times girls are married to handicapped or mentally ill men......THIS STORY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR STORY.

          Beaten, abused, raped... the Pakistani brides lured to ...

          Here is a story of a Pakistani girl who was married to a schizophrenic and later raped by her own father in law who operated a madrassa. Girl was advised by her sister in law not to complain as no one will believe her.

          ‘I was 18 and my family was visiting the home of a holy man. He also happened to be receiving some people from the UK. They had come to Pakistan with the intention of finding a bride for their son. I didn’t realise this then.

          ‘The visitors questioned me closely about my family and my life. I thought nothing more of it, but I later learned that they immediately asked the holy man to arrange a marriage between me and the son. Just like that.’ A meeting was arranged between Rani’s family and the visitors.

          ‘My future father-in-law said: “We are a religious family and we are looking for a religious girl.” My family thought he was making the right noises and said: “We would like to speak to your son.”

          ‘My future husband was in Pakistan with them but the father-in-law made excuses for his non-appearance. He said: “He doesn’t speak Punjabi or Urdu and he is not acclimatised to the weather.”

          ‘My family accepted this explanation and the match was agreed. My mother-in-law’s family was in such a hurry to get things done that I was married within the week.’
          Rani first saw her husband at their 2001 wedding ceremony. ‘I was excited and afraid. When we were finally brought together, my mother-in-law told me to say “salaam” to him. He just nodded his head and that was it. ‘Even so, I had no suspicions then that anything was amiss.’But doubts started to grow. These increased when she arrived at Manchester airport to be met by her father-in-law rather than her new husband.

          ‘Then, in the car park, my husband suddenly appeared. My father-in-law said to him “your old lady’s here”, but my husband said nothing to me. ‘When we got to their house I was put in the attic and my husband slept in the same room as his father. My husband did not speak to me.’ At first she thought he was just very shy: ‘In those first months I did everything I could to be part of his family, even speaking in their dialect.’ Her in-laws put her to work in the house and teaching at the madrassa run by her father-in-law. Yet her husband avoided her.

          At this point she says she began to be physically abused, first by her mother-in-law then other family members, later her husband. Embarrassed to tell her family in Pakistan, Rani retreated into herself, desperately unhappy. Her marriage was finally consummated, but ‘it was not a satisfying physical relationship. I would get quite upset.
          It was not loving.

          ’Worse, her father-in-law began to harass her. ‘He would ask me about my sex life and look at me in a way you would not look at a daughter. One day, when I was ill in bed, he came and fondled my breasts. He would kiss me and I didn’t like it. ‘He said that if his son couldn’t make me pregnant, he would do it.’ Rani says this molestation culminated in her father-in-law raping her at the madrassa, when she was four months pregnant by her husband. ‘I could do nothing,’ she says. ‘The world was out there, but I was not part of it. After being raped I told my brother-in-law’s wife and she said: “Shut your mouth, no one will believe you.” ’

          'When we got to their house I was put in the attic and my husband slept in the same room as his father. My husband did not speak to me' . Rani realised her in-laws were giving tablets to her husband, who would often disappear into his father’s room for weeks at a time. It was not until much later — in custody hearings — that she discovered the truth: her husband had suffered from severe schizophrenia since he was a teenager.

          Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2534906/Beaten-abused-raped-brides-lured-wretched-lives-Britain.html#ixzz3NUdsRXpz
          Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

        • That's making my blood boil - why on Earth would your husband not find this wierd!!! This is so wrong but I'm afraid of how to advise you because your husband doesn't seem to recognise how abnormal this is. Please speak to your parents and see what they advise. I really really hope that Allah swt eases your situation and guides your husband, and that you can both move away into your own private home.

          • My parents want me to talk to him with a firm and solid attitude, but I am afraid that it might ruin our relationship. They also want me to travel to Australia (I have my visa grant notice and passport with me) and stay there with my husband find a job and start a life which I would have done if I was a strong person. To go there without my mil's permission requires a lot of courage for a person like me.

  12. I didn't fight with him. It was more like a cold war and I was never strong enough to fight my mil. She doesn't talk to me now and talking to her about all of this would mean another stressful week ahead. I have however talked to my husband about baby's nationality but no result. My visa validation expires in april and I can't travel after February considering my condition. I am so stressed even if I try not to be. I know how mil's never let understanding develop between their son and dil and it's going the same way for me I only want a happy peaceful life. In the beginning, I had no issues with a joint family system but now I don't want to live with her because her idea of a perfect dil is that I should bear with her immoral behaviour and abusive language and tgen earn respect. Being a human I too have self respect and I cant bear her extremely abusive language.

    • AW: I have however talked to my husband about baby's nationality but no result. My visa validation expires in april and I can't travel after February considering my condition....... I should bear with her immoral behaviour and extremely abusive language.

      You need to keep talking to your husband about moving to Austalia without appearing to be pushy or getting upset. Emphsize baby's nationality and better health care for baby. Even suggest him your parents may help you with air fare. You can pay them back once you are in Australia.

  13. This story is so disturbing. May Allah ease the pain of that sister.
    And I have done everything that I could to make him agree, I do realize his problems as well (no job no residence) byt I am willing to do a job and mentally prepared for a tough and struggling life. Also if I buy a ticket and go there, this woukd validate my visa and g e will send me back. That's what he said, which means another 2.5 or 3 years with my mil's crazy accusations and physical and mental abuse. I am well educated and I do not believe in earning respect of your in laws by being harassed, I deserve respect because I am their son's wife, don't I? Am I wrong in my point of view? Why is it that in our society mothers of sons consider their wives as maids? No one will ever believe what I have been through just because she looks utterly sophisticated.

  14. may a girl Sui on her mother in law in same or more critical case, even she put her thumbs on my throat and slaps me?

    • I didn't quite understand your question, but if your mother-in-law is choking and slapping you then you need to move out of that house. Pressure your husband to get you a separate home, or leave him and go back to your family. If nothing else is possible then avoid interaction with your MIL as much as possible.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  15. the same situation i have also....its so hurting

  16. i have most similar problem but the issue is with me is my husband is also treating me like my mother in law nd sister in law .he dosent have feeling that im also a human being and i habe a feelings .mujhe bhi bura lagta hai .he wanted sex only when he is frustrated .he treat me like slut .he says when im nt ready to do .Make me feel good .
    my sister in law she is too much .she has a problrm if im sitting with my hubby .she has a priblem i talk with other family members nicely .she has a problrm with my sister .she taunting me for every thing which are given by brother and sister .my sister inlaw and my mother in law always saying that "tumlog ko ladki waale hoke jhukna nahi aata "she came to my house and stay 15 ...20 days .she is married .she sleep in between me and my hubby .she has a jelousy problem i dont know why .my saasu maa always she used too say aisa nahi karenge to aafmi talaaq de dete waisa nahi karenge to aadmi chodh dete .my mother in law is divorcee my sister in law is also divorce and she get second marriage .
    my parents were paased away my marriege is done by my brother and sister .they gave me everything which are demanding by my mother inlaw .but dey are not satisfied .when my sister in law came to my house my sasu maa told me to stay at my sisters house .as she was came to my house i was about to leave my sister house frome may month .my husband also not bother to come and meet me .not even he called me .and in august he gave me talaaq .after married i came to know that my husband have the 12 years affair but he told me abhi kuch nahi hai sab khatam .
    my marrige tòok place on 30th january 2016 .and he leave me in 6 ...to 7 months.for not any mistake .he says that why u r involving ur ghar k log ko dats y he gave me talaaq

  17. Asalamalekum dear sisters i read your replies dear sister i think its a prob with every women same with me my mother in law abusing me from last 4 years beat me even i am a person doing job in morning and study in evening she is not allowing servant for my kids and nor allowing to keep them in home atlast today i burst i ask what she want why she insulting me why she hates my kids i allow her to beat me nd my baby girl my husbsnd beat my daughter still she was same she blamed me tat i am going to males ohhh god its nature dear while she is kind with other you k,ow dear its money she wants it from you its good for you to have seperate house otherwise it affect your health and life sorry if say something wrong

    • Salam abc,

      It sounds to me like you need a new situation for yourself too. Your mother in-law should not be beating you or your baby girl, and your husband should not be beating your daughter. Please try to show your daughter that this behavior is not acceptable from him and that you are on her side. If he tries to beat her, please be present and try to break it up...stand in between your husband and your daughter...unless of course you fear for your own safety too in which case the police should be called.

      Hugs,

      Nor

  18. Hi my name is Tammy. My mother in lsw is mentally abusive to me. I've been with her son for 28 years now. She is a retired RN. Hooked on pain pills. We told her dr. About the misuse of her medications, and they took her off of them about 7 months ago. Since then she has contacted elder services. They came once to the home then spoke to her dr. They never returned and closed the case. She tells anyone who she sees that I beat her. That I tried killing my own mother. May she rest in peace. I've supposedly poured a pot of hot coffee on her. I went at her with a knife. She tries to make me feel like I'm going crazy. Oh by the way, she has her bachelor and masters degree in psychology. She does things to make me feel nuts. Her son told her she will go to a nursing home. He has her power of attorney. My question is, can I legally protect myself? We have installed video cameras to show I don't go near her. I cry every day of my life. I tried to take my own life before because of what she does. Brockton multie services of Massachusetts has it on record. I want to live a somewhat peaceful life. Please please tell me what to do. I'm begging

  19. Something s are same as of my marital life.

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