Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Desperate, heartbroken and saddened mother in need of help and guidance

Islam provides share of inheritance to women also

Islam provides share of inheritance to women also

Asalamualaikum my brothers and sister in Islam,

Today I am writing to get some help and I hope you can help me and advice me what to do.

I am a married women my age is 52 and a mother of 4 beautiful children's (2daughters and 2sons all of then are in 30/35) alhumdullilah.  Allah has blessed me with a loving caring and supportive husband(65) alhumdullilah.

When I got married I was so young and my husband was in 20s. We started our life with lots of struggle we both studied middle of my study I has my children's then later i had to drop my study because of my children's. By the power of Allah and his blessing I raised my children's with iman and in honest way. When they reach teens I fought them what is haram, what is forbidden in Islam and so on. And by Allah's wish I did pass that raising part  and made my children understand.

But time changes so quickly and suddenly I fall apart and sadness. My husband had bypass and he is not well if by any-chance he misses his medicine or nap time he fall suck restless. But as long I am alive I know I will take care of him. My 2 son got married alhumdullilah and my daughter in law are darling to me. They both are like my own daughter. If you see you won't make any difference. They take care of their father in law like child.

The problem is my daughters. Yes very sad it's very sad that my own daughter turned very different. I can't imagine that all my effort went in vain????? I cry everyday by my daughters behavior. They are both married but my both daughters are after my husband property. And my husband loves to give charity he said to his all children that as long he is alive he won't stop giving charity and when he will be no more he orderd me to give charity and when I will be no more the papers will be ready and then there will be 4 flats for 4 of our children will get and rest will go to charity.

But my daughters are so upset on that and they said they will go to court for this by hearing this my husband had 1st attack and after6 months he got 2 attack. By this my husband refused to talk to his daughter and my daughters cursed my husband, I am very depressed sad and heartbroken I don't know what to do? I don't know but if my husband lives me because of my daughters behavior I won't be able to forgive them. My both sons told his father that they don't want any property he can give it to their sister but my husband said all my children are same.

My husband fears Allah so much one day I saw him crying while praying and he was saying oh Allah do forgive me i couldn't raise my daughters the way it should be for this do not punish my wife she tried hard day and night I saw she stops her study to be with children till married she did protect my 4children from evil things but now they are married and turned out like this. I wish my daughters were like my daughter in law.

After hearing this couldn't stop my tears and asks for Allah's forgiveness I know I missed something when I was raising my children's that's why I had to see this days with pain and sorrow. And now my husband is hospitalized for 2 months he is not well when we try to bring home he get worse in 2 months my daughters didn't visit their father but their husband did for few min. Both my daughter in law stays in the hospital turn by turn and at night my son dose.

What should I do?? How should I ask Allah to help me?? I know the advisers are here are young but still I know most of you are married and had or have similar situation as mine maybe not. I need some advice what Islam say about dividing the property?? Is my husband doing something wrong?? Should he give more property to his children not only flat? If anything is in hadith would be grateful so that I can show to my husband and he will understand. And also how I can also make my daughter understand that what behave they doing it's not good?

Sorry for my long post but honestly I said it what I have been keeping it for last 15yrs by myself....

May Allah bless you all and whoever is a parents out there I pray to Allah that may Allah won't put you the sorrow which I am in now.....

Fatima Rahman.

Tagged as: , , , ,

29 Responses »

  1. Iam so so sorry to read this. Its so painful. I have heard about cases as such where children drag parents to the court and sibblings murder eachother for ancesteral property but after reading ur post i felt so choked. How dare they curse a severely ill, old father ? I think ur daughters r jealous of ur affection towards ur daughters in law and they r really insecure. Its quite possible that they have been brainwashed by some1 or perhaps they find this an excuse to get their revenge, its hard to guess..but whatever the reason is, the point is.. They r so blinded with jealousy and greed that they dont even realise that they r doing more harm to themselves than to u or ur husband. This war will put them in a very tough spot. They will only face humiliation both in this world and the akhirah.

    im not too sure about the property distribution law but once while watching an islamic question-answer show i hapnd to hear something. The scholar on that show hapnd to answer a caller who wanted to know about the property distribution matter in detail. Well he said that it is the duty of the parents to divide the property amonst the children as it should b. In my country some parents assume that the portion of their daughter's property is considered as given in dowry, or in the form of some gifts etc. The scholar was basically criticizing this practice. According to the law those expenses cannot b considered as her share, coz the amount spent at the wedding and such is different. Secondly the second question of the caller was what about charity? He said i wish to give my property away in charity. To which the scholar said, give the charity only after discussing it with ur children as they have rights on ur property too. U cannot give their share away in charity if they do not wish to give their consent. Another thing he spoke of was about debt. He said the child who frees his father off his debt will b immensely rewarded but the father cannot force him to do so. Thats all i heard even if he said more than just that.

    now sister i saw this show long time ago so perhaps my facts r not accurate coz i anyways never took much interest in the topic personally but i hope someone who knows better about islamic laws on property distribution and making of will could explain it better to u. However no child, daughter or son has any right to treat their parents the way ur kids r doing. My advice to u sister is that u should give their share away. Convince ur husband to do that. Nothing is more important than his life and ur peace of mind and in sha allah these women will soon realize their mistake. I think they r entitled to get 1/4th of the total property. Im not too sure about that either. Now u must b wondering y is she even replying to my post if she is lost herself? I dont know sister, mayb coz my heart just went out to u after reading it.
    i hope u will b guided well and in time. Take care.

  2. assalamalaikum-
    NOT THIS .....when he will be no more he ordered me to give charity and when I will be no more the papers will be ready and then there will be 4 flats for 4 of our children will get and rest will go to charity.

    Narrated Sa‘d ibn Abi Waqqas (RA): "I was stricken by an ailment that led me to the verge of death. The Prophet came to pay me a visit. I said, "O Allah's Apostle! I have much property and no heir except my single daughter. Shall I give two-thirds of my property in charity?" He said, "No." I said, "Half of it?" He said, "No." I said, "One-third of it?" He said, "You may do so, though one-third is also too much, for it is better for you to leave your offspring wealthy than to leave them poor, asking others for help..." (Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahah Muslim, Muwatta, Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah.)

    When a Muslim dies there are four duties which need to be performed. These are:

    payment of funeral expenses

    payment of his/ her debts

    execution his/ her will-

    distribution of remaining estate amongst the heirs according to Sharia
    "Allah commands you regarding your children. For the male a share equivalent to that of two females. " [Quran 4:11]
    The Fitnah of Wealth-Wealth, while one of the greatest blessings that mankind has been given, is at the same time one of the greatest trials and temptations. Allah states,
    "Your wealth and your children are only a trial (fitnah). And Allah - With Him is a great reward (Paradise)." [Surah al-Taghabun, 15]
    THE CONFUSION STARTED HERE .....when he will be no more he orderd me to give charity and when I will be no more the papers will be ready and then there will be 4 flats for 4 of our children will get and rest will go to charity.
    My both sons told his father that they don't want any property he can give it to their sister but my husband said all my children are same.

    It is not befitting for a believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Apostle, to have any option about their decision: if anyone disobeys Allah and His Apostle, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path. (Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:36)

    "Allah commands you regarding your children. For the male a share equivalent to that of two females. " [Quran 4:11]


    • Brother I found your block letter a bit harsh to this sister. What you said it's as per Islam but sometimes people come here with heartbroken and want some emotional support from outsider which they don't get from family that's why we come here for advice and support. Sometimes you give more advice which sounds you are quite knowledgeable person but sometimes it's better to intro your knowledge in soft way . Sorry if iam being rude.

  3. Assalamualaikum sister Fatima,

    I feel really sad to read that one's own daughters can do such an evil thing. Please do not let your husband think that he has fallen short in raising his daughters. Give him the example of Nooh Alaihis Salam and his son. Would a prophet not raise his son well? But his son died as a Kaafir.

    May Allah reward your husband for his efforts and give him patience for the tests he is undergoing at this stage in life. I seriously applaud your daghters in law for such a wonderful job and pray to Allah that every Muslim man gets such caring and loving wife. Please do not leave a leaf unturned when it comes to lovong these two.

    Yes, Islam has laws of inheritence which teach us how to distribute the property. But before death of a person, the property is his and he can give it in charity and do whatever he wants. But if he becomes ill, he can leave a small part of the property for charity. I am saying this from the following hadith from Sahih Bukhari, and Allah Knows Best:

    Narrated Sa`d bin Abi Waqqâs ﺭَﺿِﻲَ اﻟﻠﻪُ ﻋَﻨْﻪُ : The Prophet ﺻﻠﻰ اﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ came visiting me while I was (sick) in Makkah, (`Amir the subnarrator said, and he disliked to die in the land whence he had already migrated). He (i.e., the Prophet ﺻﻠﻰ اﻟﻠﻪ ﻋﻠﻴﻪ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ said, ``May Allâh bestow His Mercy on Ibn `Afrâ' (Sa`d bin Khaula).'' I said, ``O Allâh's Messenger! May I will all my property (in charity)?'' He said, ``No.'' I said, ``Then may I will half of it?'' He said, ``No.'' I said, ``One-third?'' He said, ``Yes, one-third, yet even one-third is too much. It is better for you to leave your inheritors wealthy than to leave them (poor) begging others, and whatever you spend for Allâh's sake will be considered as a charitable deed, even the handful of food you put in your wife's mouth. Allâh may lengthen your age so that some people may benefit by you, and some others be harmed by you.'' At that time Sa`d had only one daughter.
    Allah Said:

    يُوصِيكُمُ اللَّهُ فِي أَوْلَادِكُمْ ۖ لِلذَّكَرِ مِثْلُ حَظِّ الْأُنْثَيَيْنِ ۚ فَإِنْ كُنَّ نِسَاءً فَوْقَ اثْنَتَيْنِ فَلَهُنَّ ثُلُثَا مَا تَرَكَ ۖ وَإِنْ كَانَتْ وَاحِدَةً فَلَهَا النِّصْفُ ۚ وَلِأَبَوَيْهِ لِكُلِّ وَاحِدٍ مِنْهُمَا السُّدُسُ مِمَّا تَرَكَ إِنْ كَانَ لَهُ وَلَدٌ ۚ فَإِنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ وَلَدٌ وَوَرِثَهُ أَبَوَاهُ فَلِأُمِّهِ الثُّلُثُ ۚ فَإِنْ كَانَ لَهُ إِخْوَةٌ فَلِأُمِّهِ السُّدُسُ ۚ مِنْ بَعْدِ وَصِيَّةٍ يُوصِي بِهَا أَوْ دَيْنٍ ۗ آبَاؤُكُمْ وَأَبْنَاؤُكُمْ لَا تَدْرُونَ أَيُّهُمْ أَقْرَبُ لَكُمْ نَفْعًا ۚ فَرِيضَةً مِنَ اللَّهِ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا حَكِيمًا
    Allah instructs you concerning your children: for the male, what is equal to the share of two females. But if there are [only] daughters, two or more, for them is two thirds of one's estate. And if there is only one, for her is half. And for one's parents, to each one of them is a sixth of his estate if he left children. But if he had no children and the parents [alone] inherit from him, then for his mother is one third. And if he had brothers [or sisters], for his mother is a sixth, after any bequest he [may have] made or debt. Your parents or your children - you know not which of them are nearest to you in benefit. [These shares are] an obligation [imposed] by Allah . Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Wise
    وَلَكُمْ نِصْفُ مَا تَرَكَ أَزْوَاجُكُمْ إِنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُنَّ وَلَدٌ ۚ فَإِنْ كَانَ لَهُنَّ وَلَدٌ فَلَكُمُ الرُّبُعُ مِمَّا تَرَكْنَ ۚ مِنْ بَعْدِ وَصِيَّةٍ يُوصِينَ بِهَا أَوْ دَيْنٍ ۚ وَلَهُنَّ الرُّبُعُ مِمَّا تَرَكْتُمْ إِنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ لَكُمْ وَلَدٌ ۚ فَإِنْ كَانَ لَكُمْ وَلَدٌ فَلَهُنَّ الثُّمُنُ مِمَّا تَرَكْتُمْ ۚ مِنْ بَعْدِ وَصِيَّةٍ تُوصُونَ بِهَا أَوْ دَيْنٍ ۗ وَإِنْ كَانَ رَجُلٌ يُورَثُ كَلَالَةً أَوِ امْرَأَةٌ وَلَهُ أَخٌ أَوْ أُخْتٌ فَلِكُلِّ وَاحِدٍ مِنْهُمَا السُّدُسُ ۚ فَإِنْ كَانُوا أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ذَٰلِكَ فَهُمْ شُرَكَاءُ فِي الثُّلُثِ ۚ مِنْ بَعْدِ وَصِيَّةٍ يُوصَىٰ بِهَا أَوْ دَيْنٍ غَيْرَ مُضَارٍّ ۚ وَصِيَّةً مِنَ اللَّهِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ حَلِيمٌ
    And for you is half of what your wives leave if they have no child. But if they have a child, for you is one fourth of what they leave, after any bequest they [may have] made or debt. And for the wives is one fourth if you leave no child. But if you leave a child, then for them is an eighth of what you leave, after any bequest you [may have] made or debt. And if a man or woman leaves neither ascendants nor descendants but has a brother or a sister, then for each one of them is a sixth. But if they are more than two, they share a third, after any bequest which was made or debt, as long as there is no detriment [caused]. [This is] an ordinance from Allah , and Allah is Knowing and Forbearing.
    تِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ ۚ وَمَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ يُدْخِلْهُ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا ۚ وَذَٰلِكَ الْفَوْزُ الْعَظِيمُ
    These are the limits [set by] Allah , and whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger will be admitted by Him to gardens [in Paradise] under which rivers flow, abiding eternally therein; and that is the great attainment.
    وَمَنْ يَعْصِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَيَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَهُ يُدْخِلْهُ نَارًا خَالِدًا فِيهَا وَلَهُ عَذَابٌ مُهِينٌ
    And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger and transgresses His limits - He will put him into the Fire to abide eternally therein, and he will have a humiliating punishment.

    And another Hadith from Bukhari talks about inheritence:

    Narrated Ibn `Abbâs ﺭَﺿِﻲَ اﻟﻠﻪُ ﻋَﻨْﻬُﻤﺎ : The custom (in olden days) was that the property of the deceased would be inherited by his offspring; as for the parents (of the deceased), they would inherit by will of the deceased. Then Allâh cancelled from that custom whatever He wished and fixed for the male double the amount inherited by the female, and for each parent a sixth (of the whole legacy) and for the wife an eighth(1) or a fourth(1) and for the husband a half or a fourth.

    I can not issue a fatwa but can tell you what I understand from these Aayaat.

    For example, if your husband leaves $10000, you will get 1/8 of it, which is $1250. After this, the remaning $8750 will be divided into 6 parts, which is $1458.33 each. Your daughters will get 1 share each and your sons will get 2 shares each. So your daughters, each of them get $1458.33 each and your sons get $2916.66 each.

    This is if the amount of the property was $10000. You can accordingly calculate the total property and divide thus. But this is only when the owner of the property dies (may Allah make your husband live longer to do more good deeds and earn His Pleasure).

    Let your husband write these terms in his will (please verify the terms from a Mufti to be on a safer side). And when he has done that, your daughters have no right by law to ask for more. No, they can not take anyone to the court. They are already standing with a lot of burden of sins upon them (may Allah make them do tawbah).

    Also read the following (download the ebook):

    And I suggest you to keep your daughters away from their father. They may cause him harm psychologically, which maybe harmful for him. Shield him against their evil. But do this after you have told them that the property will be divided according to the Islamic Sharee'ah.

    Allah Knows Best.

    I pray that you and your husband find relief and meet Allah while worshipping Him Alone, making Him Pleased and being pleased with Him. Aameen.

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

    • Asalamualaikum,

      Thank you brother Abu, for your patient, time to advice me. But unfortunately my destiny turned upside now. I think I post this a month ago but I am sad to tell you that my husband is no more. He belongs to Allah swt so my husband is with Allahs care now. But still I haven't fixed the property yet. I will do it soon. My daughters didn't even showed their face in his funeral. I am upset, angry and feeling disgusting about myself that my own dUghters turned like this. I decided after dividing the property per Islamic way I will not keep any relation with my daughters. It's better not to have child like this. When my son called and told them their father is no more they replied we thank Allah he took him and may Allah punish him for not giving us more property. After hearing this I broke down completly. Currently I live in australia I wish I could leave this country just because my husband grave is here so I donot want him to be alone. 

      Honestly my life completely changed after I lost my loving husband he was the best person I ever meet in my whole life. I don't feel like live anymore. May allah take me when its good time for me to go but i pray soon.

      Do pray for me and I pray that Allah give me courage to face the situation I am in now. 

      • May Allah forgive all him sins and bless your husband with Janna. Sister I have no words I was shocked and sad to read your story. How can daughters do like this? Omg I always heard that daughters a fond of their father more then mother. I can't feel your pain but I can imagine how your husband and you felt with this behavior. Some people are really bad towards their parents and sometimes it's really hard to digest. I pray to Allah to give to strengths. 

      • Well, I don't know how to stitch up the words to showcase my solidarity with you. I would ask you not to break ties with either of your daughters. The Prophet Nuh (Alaihi salam ) and Prophet Luqman (Alihi Salam) did not end their relationship with their respective sons until the divine order from Allah arrived.

        Yes, it is melancholic to see the apathy of your daughters. But I would suggest that you continue to show patience with them. You should continue to bank upon Allah and pray that Allah guides your daughters on the correct path. You are no longer responsible for your daughters ill doing, however, you cannot disown them.

        Do not relinquish to tough circumstances. May Allah give you the sakeenah and sabr to counter this turmoil in your life.

      • Wa Alaikum as Salam sister,

        It really saddens me to hear the news. May Allah Forgive his sins and Grant him from His Mercy.

        Sister, you know that we can not stop Allah's Qadr from taking place. Your husband passed away as a part of this Qadr. All you can do is pray for his forgiveness. To Allah belongs what He Has Taken and to Him belongs what we have and what He Has Given.

        Ask your children to beg Allah for their father's forgiveness. Everything, all your husband'd deeds have stopped being recorded except for three.

        The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “When a man dies, his deeds come to an end except for three things: Sadaqah Jariyah (ceaseless charity); knowledge which is beneficial; or a virtuous descendant who prays for him (the deceased).” [Sahih Muslim]

        Ask your sons to pray for their father and divode the property as per Islamic laws. Give your daughers what they deserve, otherwise, it will be dhulm. What they are doing is a much greater evil and I am afraid it is enough for Allah's Wrath upon them, may Allah make them understand before they are made to understand (when they reach the Judgement of Allah).

        Sister, you are facing a test from Allah, as He Said:

        وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّمَا أَمْوَالُكُمْ وَأَوْلَادُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌ وَأَنَّ اللَّهَ عِنْدَهُ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ
        And know that your properties and your children are but a trial and that Allah has with Him a great reward.

        And He also Said:

        يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِنَّ مِنْ أَزْوَاجِكُمْ وَأَوْلَادِكُمْ عَدُوًّا لَكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُمْ ۚ وَإِنْ تَعْفُوا وَتَصْفَحُوا وَتَغْفِرُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ
        O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.

        Do not pray against your daughters, have patience pray for your husband. Keep your daughters in law with a lot of love so that they support your sons in taking care of you.

        I pray that Allah replaces your husband's house and property in this World with something much better. You must also work towards the Jannah by doing a lot of good deeds, so that Allah Gives your husband and yourself Jannah and unites you both and your loved ones.

        And sister, your husband has left the World and is not alone. You need not stay in Australia, except if your sons want to visit his grave and pray for his forgiveness to Allah.

        I know it is easy for me to say and difficult for you to act. But try as much as possible so that you have no witness against you in the court of Allah.

        Abu Abdul Bari Editor

      • Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon. May Allah have mercy on your husband, may He forgive him, may He give him goodness and may Allah bless you for your patience, help you in this difficult times and give you 1000 goodness. ameen.

        Really sad to hear of your situation especially that your daughters went on the wrong path. You've received great advises like that of bro Abu Abdul Bari. Insha'Allah you will overcome any problems as soon as possible.and just like other said, do not break ties with your daughter no matter what and may Allah guide them.

        Regarding your daughter being greedy, just tell them that they are wrong and they need to repent and pray for their father and regarding your husband, insha'Allah he is in a good place because Allah said,

        -As for him who gives (in charity) and keeps his duty to Allah and fears Him
        -And believes in Al-Husna.
        -We will make smooth for him the path of ease (goodness).
        -But he who is greedy miser and thinks himself self-sufficient.
        -And gives the lie to Al-Husna
        -We will make smooth for him the path for evil;
        -And what will his wealth benefit him when he goes down (in destruction).
        -Truly! Ours it is (to give) guidance,
        -And truly, unto Us (belong) the last (Hereafter) and the first (this world).
        -Therefore I have warned you of a Fire blazing fiercely (Hell);
        -None shall enter it save the most wretched,
        -Who denies and turns away.
        -And Al-Muttaqun (the pious and righteous) will be far removed from it (Hell).
        -He who spends his wealth for increase in self-purification,
        -And have in his mind no favour from anyone for which a reward is expected in return,
        -Except only the desire to seek the Countenance of his Lord, the Most High;
        -He surely will be pleased (when he will enter Paradise).
        (SURAH AL LAYL 92:5-21)

        Masha'Allah for your daughter-in-laws, may Allah bless them abunduntly and grant us the same.

        P.S. Hope the publishing of the posts moves at a quicker pace insha'Allah.

      • May Allah (swt) grant him Jannah and raise his ranks, forgive his sins and help all of you deal with the loss. Amin.

        P.S; Sister, I would not only request you to not severe ties with your daughters but also never utter the words you did out of anger because you never know when they Allah (swt) accept them and you later regret what you said out of anger under the influence of Shaytan. As one of the sister mentioned above; it may be that your son-in-laws are making your daughters behave in this way, not that it's right but forgive them and slowly work on them. Don't forget that it is their right; no matter how they went about claiming it. May Allah (swt) help you all to find the best solution to the problem at hand. Try finding a Muslim lawyer who has studied Sharia law; iA he/she will be able to help you with the distribution of property.


        • Thank you everyone to support me, yesterday I talked to an imam from islamic council how to distribute my husband property, I gave him all the property information and he did it as our islamic law but I need to sign in witness so it will be done after 4 months after my waiting now I don't go out. Alhumdullilah My husband don't have any loan he already paid in 2010 before going to hajj. He still owe 2months fasting which my sons will do it inshallah from next month before our Ramadan starts.

          I don't know about my daughters weather I am able to keep good relation with them they cause me so much pain which no mother could even imagine. For them specially for my daughter I still remember I used to drop them at school, collage even university and I use to pick them up on time I don't think my daughter even waited 1min after school finish they always found me waiting. Because of my children's well being and to give them good education I sacrifices my life literally. Even my husband wanted me to study further and handle some of his business but I refused and told him I don't want my children to feel that both their parents are concern about their life not children.

          I don't want to comment about my son in laws. Only Allah know but I never seen my son in law being rude with us even one of my son in law said he was trying to make her understand but they had big fight then I told him you both don't need to fight because of us you both live happy that's all I and your father in law wants.

          Currently I am staying at my sons house my both son live together alhumdullilah. My daughter in law taking care of me very well I pray to Allah to bless my daughter in law for their good deeds. I wanted to go to USA to my inlaws, but by the grace of Allah my elder daughter in law is 8weeks pregnant with second child and she requested me to stay with her, she recently lost her mother as well so for the sake of my daughter in law I decided to stay for the time being.

          May allah make my path easy and help me to overcome the loss I had. Every time I pray I cry for my husband and ask for forgiveness.

          • Dear sister,
            life is unfair. Had it not been the way it is then it wouldnt have been duniya.On one hand there r couples who do everything to have a child but remain childless and on the other we have those who leave their infants to die in a dump, there r loving parents with ungrateful children and obedient children stuck with harsh parents, Pious people with fornicators in marriage, kind employers with mean servants, monster in laws with eager to please daughter-in-laws and cunning daughter-in-laws with simple mother-in-laws and the list is endless.
            i use to ask y is it so? Y r these pairs not matched well? Sister it is Allah's way of judging his slaves. This is the way this duniya is balanced. If all the wise, pious, loving, helpful, generous ppl were to b put together then that portion would have been a paradise and the other the hell plus who says that the good and the bad r equally divided?
            sister u know ur children best. U have raised ur daughters so u would know best if they were always selfish. Besides sister considering ur age, i believe that u have seen the world better than most of us. So tell me sister are the ones who react harshly always bad and the ones who act sweetly r always good? If ur daughters were not always selfish sister then the chances r that they have been brainwashed or played games have done so to perfection and whoever has done it will benefit from the fall out directly and this person or people r so sharp that they wont even let u catch them. They will b very sweet to u on ur face sister so dont b fooled by them.
            You r very lucky that u at least have ur sons and daughters in-law for the support. Some elders get humiliated from all their children and die in isolation. My gradmother suffered at the hands of my aunt soon after she was done with dividing her jewellery. It was so shocking to watch the evil transformation. May Allah s.w.t bless ur home with peace and love and may ur daughters-in-law never change their behaviour with u. Ur daughters r not innocent of what they r doing but keep ur eyes wide open for the shayateen who have influenced them. When a person loses his senses to anger and bitterness he loses his sense of judgement irrespective of his age or intelligence. So b calm. Just do ur duty and leave the rest to Allah s.w.t but if they come back to u sister try to forgive them, i know it will b very hard but just say to urself that i will try for the pleasure of Allah alone just the way i want Allah to forgive me on that day.
            May ur husband rest in peace.

          • Ooooops sorry for the typo. I just make too many of them. I meant some1 has brainwashed them or has played games(filthy politics) and whoever has done it, he has done it to perfection and will benefit from the fallout directly.

    • Brother Abdul,

      So if wife gets share from husband property what happend next? Is she also need to distribute when she is no more? Or she can do whatever she want? Can their children claim to distribute mother property?

      • Her property is again inherited by her heirs. Until she is alive, the property is hers and she can do whatever she wants with it. But when she is no more, it is to be divided among whoever is alive from the heirs.

        If a wife dies before her husband and leaves some property, even her husband inherits from her, as you can read in the Aayah I have quoted.

        Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  4. Dear sister your story makes my heart ache,it brings up my own father's passing 31/2 hrs ago after a long painful battle with cancer he was 64.I months before I had been flying back and forth to be with my father ,he lived on the other side of the county and it was difficult going back and forth,but I was doing the best that I could,the last time I saw him he said he was afraid that if I left he would die but I needed to get back home for my children and that I would fly back in 5 days,well 5 days was too long my father passed away while I was at the airport returning to see him,I have so much pain and regret for not making it back in time,I missed him by 5 hours! I had received the news that my father had taken a turn for the worst so I was getting on the next possible flight,I told my mom to tell my father I was on my father kept telling the nurses that my daughter is on her way,my daughter is on her way ,over and over it was the last thing he ever said,I never made it ....... cannot forgive myself ,I will have to live with this regret for the rest of my life. I don't want this to happen to you and your daughters because of their selfish and foolish behavior! By the time they realize what they have done ,it may be too late and they will have to live in regret.forever You husband deserves to be shown the love and respect that he deserves from his daughters! I will pray for you dear sister and that Allah will open your daughters hearts before it is too late,.even though my fathers passing brings me the worst pain it also brings me the most joy because 2 months before his passing my father converted to Islam!!! And we were able to give him an Islamic burial,and actually my newlywed husband of only 3 months ,whom had only met my father once,stepped up and washed my father and lowered him into the grave!! So in the end all is well.may Allah grant your husband Jannah ,and may Allah take away all your pain and suffering dear sister

    • Assalam o alaikum sister senna,
      May Allah forgive your father and raise his ranks in jannah and help all the family get through this tough time and bless you all with patience iA. I am sure Allah (swt) will overlook your father's sin since he converted before his death. Our prayers are with you. The best gift you can send your father is now to pray for his maghfirah especially ask your children to pray for him.


      • Dear brother thank you so much,indeed I feel the joy of teaching my father about Islam,I'm so grateful that Allah opened his heart! There were many people coming to my father and preaching to him Christianity and told my father that he must accept or he will go to hell but my father refused he did not believe in it .but when I read and spoke of Islam he said yes this is what I believe in! This is it ! Even as I drove to the mosque with my father ,my father said that he could feel the peace and tranquiliyr the closer we came to the mosque and there was an islamic school there and he said that he wishes that he knew about Islam when I was a child he would have put me in Islamic father was a good ,humble ,hardworking,selfless,Muslim man,mashallah! Sorry for the typo in my earlier post...says 3 and a half hours.was meant 3 and a half yrs

        • I was actually trying to imagine the entire funeral rites including the final wash, prayer and burial happening in 3 and a half hours. 🙂

          Abu Abdul Bari

    • To Allah belongs what He Has taken and to Him belongs what He Has given us. I pray that Allah replaces his life in this world and his belongings with something much better.

      When a person dies, his deeds come to an end, except for three. One of them is a righteous child who worships Allah, prays for his/her parent.

      Abu Abdul Bari Editor

      • What are the other 2 deeds dear brother?

        • The other two are: ceaseless chatity (for example, a person builds a mosque. People pray in it and he is rewarded); and beneficial knowledge that he leaves (he teaches someone the deen, who in turn teaches someone else and it goes on, or he writes a book which people benefit from, etc.)

          Abu Abdul Bari

  5. My dear sister, I am so happy to hear of your GREat blessings from God. Your sons, your husband who has now passed, your daughter in laws, the gratefulness you feel towards your Lord, the wealth He gave to you.

    I advice you to consult an islamic sccholar about how the wealth should be divided up.

    From what you say and Allah knows best your daughter seem like they have fallen into the trap of greed. They could perhaps be affected by their husbands? It is a possibillty.

    In any case, I advise you my dear sister to not cut ties with your daughters. Just keep cordial and do your part. Leave Allah to judge them for their part. They will experience from their own kids the treatment they gave to you.

    Also, make alot of ISTIGHFAR and make dua for your husband constantly that Allah forgive him and join you both in jannah.

    May Allah bless you.

Leave a Response