Our mother wants to meet us now after 17 years apart
My question is:
My parents divorced 17 years ago. We are three: one brother and two sisters. We were with our father and my father died 12 years ago.
Now my mother wants to meet us. So what should be our stand according to Islam.
My mother said that past 17 years she tried to meet us. Once she met me, but circumstances didn't allow her.
So please tell me what I should do?
-Ahd
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Salaam,
Ahd, you need to provide more details if you want a more detailed response that is more specific towards your situation. However, what I doubt will change, no matter what the specific details of your story, is the fact that your mother is still your mother and has a right over you.
Especially since she is also claiming that she wanted to meet you but couldn't. I dont understand how or why such a thing can occur, but whatever the reason, if you want to know the Islamic answer then islamically she remains your mother, and nothing can change that. Her absence would not justify any form of action on your behalf to cut her out of your life; remember, two wrongs don't make a right.
Maintaining blood relations are very important in Islam, and severe punishment is forewarned for those who severe it. So be careful and remember this incase the devil wants to use her absence in your life as a reason to severe relations with her ( or even treat her in any negative way).
If she really couldn't contact/meet you but had tried, then you should be delighted that you have finally united and not lose a moment with her. 17 years is a very long time to be away from ones own mother...naturally being a mother, she has suffered enough being away from her children, just as you guys must have suffered living without your mother.
There is nothing specific that you are required to do islamically. I guess you all would have A LOT of talking to do and alot of catching up....oh and thank Allah that she is a part of your life now. 🙂
Was salaam
Dear Ahd,
I do not know your full circumstances, so I cannot give a specific answer. But I will say this much, that your mother carried you for nine months, she suffered the pangs of labour and for whatever reason you have been separated for 17 years. If this prolonged separation was something your mother could have prevented, I completely understand why you are more upset. Sometimes our own parents hurt us so much - but Allah does see this my sister. He knows your pain, and He(swt) will not ignore it. And maybe your mother is now sincerely seeking to make up for the past.
So, try to see her contacting you as an olive branch and take hold of it as though its your life line Sister. Ask Allah to make the truth evident to you, to give you the strength to cope with it and to make you compassionate enough to overlook any mistakes your mother made, to forgive her and to welcome her with open arms. This will be best for you and for your mother and will give you both peace inshaAllah And moreso, re-uniting these most important ties of kinship will break shaytaan to dust but will please Allah(swt) greatly. So please open your heart to your mother and if you find this difficult, ask Allah to make it easy for you.
Please see this link too: http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/5053
Allaah says regarding our parents: “But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly” [Luqmaan 31:15]
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor