Muslim boyfriend scared to approach his parents and inform them about me
Scared of Parent's rejection
Respected sir,
I'm a Christian and my bf a Muslim. We loved each other and wanted to live together, but lately he stepped back thinking about his younger brother's future.
He was the one who came to me originally. But now he is scared to approach his parents to tell about me. I cannot leave him.We have physically committed mistakes too.
please do help me to convince him.
- Lesamk
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Hello!
Unfortunately, things will not work in your favor. As much as you would love to his family will not accept you. There is no reason why this "relationship" should have been kept a secret if he really wanted something serious with you.
Easier said than done, but for your own good (emotionally, physically and most important spiritually) WALK AWAY AND DONT LOOK BACK.
Best of luck! May Allah guide you to the right path!
Amira
wait do you mean that his young brother wanted to be your bf before first but you rejected him, still it's not hala but i hope life goes well for you anyway cya later salam
Peace be upon you Sister
Isn't it clear that your boy friend was just using you for his pleasures? If he knew that his parents won't accept you why did he then approach you in the first place?
To me making any further efforts is just going to make him come back and continue using you, and then he will end up telling you stories again. He is just telling you the truth at this moment, and the truth is that he can't marry you, so do not make any efforts to bring him back. Just see how you could get rid of him forever.
As a real Muslim he was not supposed to have any interaction with you in the first place, except through marrying you, as Islam teaches us to respect women's dignity before marriage, and to respect them and take care of them after marriage as well. This means that your boy friend is not practicing the true Islam.
Why is he scared of telling his parents about you? Marrying you after repentance is a good thing to do, but if he can't do it because of his fear for his parents, this means he is not that strong enough to fight for your rights. He could even divorce you at any time when his parents didn't like you for no good reasons and have asked him to do so.
Hope this helps by God willing!
Assalaamualaikam
It's understandable that you may feel anxious about your future and want to convince him to commit to a future with you; however, this is an enormous decision for you both, and he may well need time to work out what he truly wants. One of the most supportive things you could do would be to give him this time to make his own choice - even if he ends up making a decision you don't like, at least then you will know that you have allowed him to follow what he believes to be the right course.
Islam and Christianity have many similar values and historical origins, so I would encourage you to learn more about this - you may find that you feel drawn to Islam and even if you don't, you will be able to better understand the similarities and differences between them, which will be important if you and your boyfriend wish to get married and build a life together.
In Islam, boyfriend-girlfriend relationships aren't considered to be acceptable, as they increase the risk of zina (extramarital sexual or emotional interactions), which is a serious sin in both Islam and Christianity. It would therefore be necessary for you and your boyfriend to consider whether you both wish to get married and have a halal relationship as husband and wife. Some people are extremely opposed to multi-faith relationships, and there can be many difficulties encountered, but it is stated that a Muslim man can marry a Muslim, Christian or Jewish woman. So, if you both want to marry, being of different faiths doesn't rule it out. What would be important though, would be to explore what role both faiths would have in your lives, and how this would influence raising children, family interactions, relationship dynamics, etc. - it might help for you to speak with people who are in multi-faith marriages or who have reverted to Islam, to learn from their experiences.
Ultimately, your boyfriend needs to decide whether he wishes to make that commitment.
I pray that you both are guided to what is best for you, and that the beauty of Islam touches your heart.
Midnightmoon
IslamicAnswers.com editor
Good supplication (I pray that you both are guided to what is best for you, and that the beauty of Islam touches your heart). May Allah accept it! Ameen.
Hello Lesa
You can find your favor if you accept the only one god Allah and the messenger of Allah is Mohammed "sallahu alaihi vasalam", then your Boy Friend can easily talk to his parents about you,
Come back to Islam if you and Allah wishes to do so and then ask forgiveness for physically committed mistakes, then talk to parents
Sorry if any of my word hurts you,
No compulsion/request made in my above comment and its none of my duty also.
Mohammed Yousuf
Ab d-Allah
Salam,
try to marry him. Insallah you will marry him. Make Dua to Allah Sister...
try to marry him?????????? HE DOESNT WANT TO MARRY..... helllooooooo
Hey girl,
I don't know what his intentions are but from the looks of it, it looks like he just used you for sex 🙁 if he was truly wanting a future with you he would have told his parents! My advice to all girls, Muslim or non Muslim, if you like someone don't be physical before marriage and if he says he's serious able you make sure his family know about you even if you are just 'friends'. If you both have to be sneaking around well that's a red alarm and you should know that you need to stay away. Anyway I pray he fixes up and tells his parents about you but you shouldn't count it. You say he's thinking about his brothers future or something?! Honey if a man wants something he will go get it regardless. But this guy is making excuses. Put your emotions aside for a minute and think logically about your situation. Try to look at it from another persons perspective. I wish you all the best xx
Dear sis,
its not that he cant marry you, it beacuse he doesnt want to. its very common for people like your boyfriend to use family as am armour to defend themselves for not commiting to marriage once they have used women.
you will not like it but i will spell it our very clearly to you. your bf has used you for his own pleasures and now he is using all these excuses in the world so that you dont ask for any seriou commitment. you have been fooled and used.
now your being muslim or nonmuslim is not an issue at all. he would have done the same thing with a muslim girl as well. look around this website a lot of muslim girls have had a similar experience as yours.
what to do now. ....... CUT OFF ALL CONTACTS IMMEDIATELY. no warnings, no fights, no arguments.... no nothing. just disaapear like you never existed .... if he chases which most men like them do .... just dont reply, not even say hello on the phone. just stay SHUT. if he persist just say it is HARAM in your religion to keep illegal relationships and disconnect all contacts.
remember , what he has shown you is a crap character. a real muslim will respect a woman, and honour her by making his wife. it is to protect women from deep hurts like you are going through that Islam forbids such relationships.
once you have disconnected yoursel from this man, your healing will start Inshallah. May Allah help you and bring peace in your heart