Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My Muslim boyfriend wants me to abort our baby

pregnancy

Hello 🙂 I am a non Muslim woman pregnant by a Muslim man.

I told him and he asked me to have an abortion. I refused as I am against them. He told me if his family found out they would disown him and that he cannot lose his family!

He has now stopped talking to me and has made me feel awful. I don't know what to say to him as he has created life and now wants to run from it.

I understand islam to some extent and he knows this!

Please give me your best advice. He is a 22 year old Moroccan.

- alicia

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11 Responses »

  1. Dear Alicia,

    Your boyfriend's behavior is cowardly and inconsistent with Islamic teaching. Abortion is actually forbidden in Islam. He is only thinking of himself and his relationship with his parents, not of you or your baby.

    You should keep your baby. And I think you should contact his family and inform them, and request financial support for the baby, as is your right. Though it may get him in some trouble with his family, I doubt very much they will disown him, and anyway his relationship with his parents is not your concern. It's your legal right to make such a request. I don't know what country you are in, but in the USA the father is required by law to pay child support.

    Leave the door open for him to be a part of the baby's life. But even if he does not want to do so, he must help support his child.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. Salaam,

    Oh Allah please aid this young lady and show her the true face of your religion. Oh Allah please show her mercy but guide her onto the righteous path.

    The muslim man who made you pregnant has committed so many sins I am actually ashamed to right them on this glorious and happy day, Eid ul Adha.

    As Wael stated, what his family thinks of him is not your business, he was the one who decided to commit zina (an act which is punishable in Islam under many circumstances), so he must now repent for that. He must pay for the child and be a proper dad, it is a grave sin to deny a woman money to raise the child or to provide financially directly for the child himself.

    As stated in the above comment, Abortion in this case (as you do not mention health risks for yourself) is haraam, but you are not a Muslim so you will not apply Sharia of course, however we are fellow human beings advise you keep the child as it is a great blessing. Ask those women who are not able to have children and you will see how miserable people, especially women can be without children.

    Keep the child, read up on Islam, the true Islam and realise this man is not a reflection of a true muslim man, he is a shameless man who has no control over his beastly instincts. He played with matchsticks and paper when it came to you, now the fire has been lit he is trying to flee, do not under any circumstances allow it.

    May your child grow into a healthy environment and may it be the joy of your life. Allah knows best, we shall pray that your husband comes back onto the righteous path and Insha'allah you learn about Islam. Ameen.

  3. Thank you so much for your advice, there is no way I would have an abortion. I want him to be a father to our child, I hope he realises and comes back around.

  4. @alicia : so what happened now sister. . is everything fine. . ?

  5. Some men are --simply said... are just not man enough! Good for you for not falling for his emotional blackmail. It's wrong in Islam and even outside Islam to have an abortion. One day when this man gets some sense he will thank you for having maturity and being strong when he was fixated on his stupidity. All actions come with consequences, either good or bad. Don't worry...good choices have it's way of making the best of situations 🙂 Two wrongs never make a right, good for you!

  6. As an update my daughter is now nearly 5 months old. He came to my house once and has never called since. I am debating to tell his parents as then when my daughter is of age I can say I tried my best. Do you think this is the best option?

    • Alicia,

      I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart to have the courage to raise your daughter. I'm spending the same situation that you went through months ago.... The same as you, I'm stock thinking what i have to do to give my daughter the best and take care of her emotional health. For sure, when the babies are getting older and they see their peers sharing time with both parents they will ask about where are their father, and i think that would be a harsh situation and a really difficult question to answer. That's the situation that goes around to my mind everyday and every night. If you have the opportunity to contact his parents and let them know about your daughter do it, I would do the same if I have the opportunity but unfortunately i don't have it. If his parents are a good Muslims they won't deny the child the right that she must have, and they will talk to that guy to take responsibility of his actions. Think about your daughter before her father, as someone told you before "if he has troubles, is not your problem" but is not fair they (guys) make you pregnant and then just run away that easy. Also, you have an advantage he is from Morocco and they are not to close mind as the Saudi culture. So take the courage and the risk to try, you don't gonna lose nothing maybe you will win more.

      Good Luck, and God bless you and your daughter.

  7. http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/pregnant-and-not-heard/

    Alicia read this thread, especially the part about being straightforward, to him, preferably in front of his parents, and remind him of his duty to raise his child and to fear Allah SWT for he will be accountable on the day of judgement for abandoning his daughter.

  8. He is completely ignoring me and he even drive straight past me.
    I have no hope that he will be in her life

  9. He is completely ignoring me and he even drive straight past me.
    I have no hope that he will be in her life

    • Alicia,

      Where the father of your baby from?

      Some girls and I are trying to get help from the Saudi government, so if your ex is from there you can join us.

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