I do believe in Islam but am considering Christianity for my internet love
Shaytan said: 'Oh my Lord!...I will make wrong fair-seeming to them on the Earth, and I will put them all in the wrong except Your servants among them, sincere and purified.’ Sûrah al-Hijr: 39-40
I am talking to a guy over the internet right now, he is christian but he doesn't know I am a Muslim. He just recently told me he wanted to come visit me (we live in different countries) and he was talking about how happy he would be if I could take him sight-seeing! I never thought that he would actually want to visit me, I only started talking to him because he was someone who I thought it would be impossible for me to see.
The relationship we have even if it's just through talking seems to have got a lot more serious (but I guess it wouldn't have if he knew I was muslim). He is Christian - I am Muslim (Limiting Factor). I know this is a little confusing, but please bear with it.
Despite the fact that I was happy he was coming I am also hesitant. What is he going to think of me when he comes?! This is a really stupid question but I am still debating inside me. I even thought of taking off my scarf !! Is his sincerity enough for him to actually change his religion? I thought about changing my religion but I still fear Allah (s.w.t). Even if I changed to become Christian I don't think I would be able to believe in the contents of that religion.
I am happy to be a muslim, I was born in to a muslim family, I went to an all girls school (muslim) since nursery. This might sound a little weird but all guys have only proposed to me not because they know me or anything but just because I'm pretty (even just random people I don't know). But this guy really likes me for who I am. Not because I look like a pretty barbie doll ...(btw I don't wear make up).
Also whats bothering me is that my auntie has offered me to study in the US (and that's just were he lives). But I know if I go I would definitely want to see him. I am pretty sure if my parents heard about this they would be really disappointed, they are not the type to punish me if I took off my scarf, my dad would probably give me advice. However if he found out I was talking to a guy then he'll probably take off the internet and I probably will be grounded for some time. But I know myself and I know I will still find a way to go and talk to him again .
And whats actually really sad is that I am the one who usually gives advice to my friends so that they don't do such things but this is the first time I feel like a hypocrite. My friend also talks to a guy and I always tell her to stop. She stops for sometime and then continues, but it's not like ok she's doing wrong so I can do it too?
I guess after reading this you can see how confused I am. All this above is me debating with my self 🙁 What should I do? I need advice :S
14 Responses »
Leave a Response
Entries(RSS)
Salam sister... When I read your title post, I smiled to myself. There is No such thing as pre-marital relationship between a guy and a girl, and I'm sure you are Fully aware of the reasons.. If you still confuse, read your question and you will realise All the problems that it is creating for you. Committing murtad just for a guy whom you haven't even met? Astaghfirullah. Where is your Imaan girl? Where is the line that you should draw. When your friends talk to guys, you stop them, you drew the line for them, but when it comes to your turn to be tested by Allah, did you draw the line? Your friends did not draw the line for you, because they do not know about all this right? I'm not going to be harsh because you sounded young, and very emotional. I'm thankful to Allah that you have the sense to ask advice before this gets out of hands. What happens when he comes? You won't be wearing your headscarf, you met him, you went out, you hold hands, you went to quiet places, and syaitaan will play it's part. I'm sure of this, based on readings and experience. You are aware of this right. It Does not say don't do zina, it says don't get Close to zina, remember? Because when you are close to it, it's hard to repel. So sister, before you even take a step forwards, just istighfar and remember yourself the purpose of this life. I might not be that pious to teach you about this, but we'r all trying to help here. Just repent back to Allah, cut all connections you have with him, and please don't do things like this again. You said the guys wants to engage you because of your beauty, never the less, what they are doing is the Right Halal way. And this guy coming, he's Not even a Muslim ya Allah. He can't lead you to Jannah, why would you want a guy like that? The scariest part about all this is that for all the seconds you are being with him, it's a sin, and it will be recorded. You know yourself and you will find a way to talk to him again. Well, will you find a way to explain to Allah what you're doing is permissible? If you can answer Him, then only you can do it. I'm sure you are a well educated girl, full of Islamic knowledge about right and wrong, you're just blinded by so called love. I hope you will realise that. This guy, no matter how good or caring he's being to you right now, sadly to say, everything about it is Haraam.
Allah knows best
Hi Miss (I guess)
I really liked your approach to the question.
Yes, you guessed right! I am young (U18) and a really emotional person!
And I haven't told my friends about it. If I did they would be very upset (even though they do themselves) but I have never tried to talk to a guy before, this time it somehow just happened.
I will try and stop talking to him ASAP, but I need some time.
Thanks for the advice 🙂
Dear sister, what can i say? Takes one to know one. I'm a very emotional person too, and well, we can't live this life based solely on feelings. It' just will eat us right up. Temptations can be so Extremely hard to resist sometimes, only those with True and Strong faith will overcome it. I know it's hard, but well, you Know it's the right thing to do (now I sound like my mum lol). Good luck, keep in touch
Salamu'alaikum
Being a Muslim is the most honorable thing in the world. Because we happen to Worship to True Lord, and we happen to follow the true Messenger. Shaitaan promised Allah that he would lead His believing slaves astray, but the chosen ones can not be harmed. This feeling is nothing but a tool of Shaitaan to lead you astray. To make you commit Zina. I can guess that he wants to vist you, in order to commit Zina. For them this World is Paradise and they do whatever they want. But for us is the Paradise that Allah had Prepared (insha Allah) which has no share for those who Allah is Angry with and who disbelieve in Him. Do you wish to be among those and gp to the Hell fire along with Fir'oun and Haamaan? Do you wish to be burnt in th fire which is 70 times more intense than the fire of this World?
The pleasue of this world is truly temporary, but the entertainment of the Hereafter is something eternal. Allah had Prepared it all for those He is Pleased with.
Choose not to go to the US currently if you fear you'll be tempted to meet him, and never call him to your country, because you will surely commit Haraam. And by the way, the chatting on internet itself is Haraam, and concealing your identity is something which constitutes Hypocrisy (Allah knows best - this is my feeling). A Muslim who is Pleased with Allah never conceals his or her identity (exceptions possible). Your feeling that being a Muslim is a limiting factor is very wrong. Please consider Islam the touchstone to judge things and not vise versa.
If one person committs sins, does it mean even you can commit sins? When a person jumps into fire, would you follow her? No. Then why does the question of 'if your friend can, why can't you' Come up? She is wrong and you should advise her to stop. And even you need to stop. He is a fitnah, and can ruin your Dunyaa and Aakhirah. Beware and correct yourself, before anything evil comes to pass. Cut off any contact yo have with his and tell him that you are a Muslim and do not want to continue, or you do not even have to tell him. Just disconnect with him and practice Islam as much as possible. Gain some knowledge about Allah and His Messenger, in order to strengthen your Imaan.
May Allah enable you to do so.
Aameen
Wassalamu'alaikum
Muhammad Waseem
Br Waseem I really didn't know that chatting on the internet is haram. A few people I know got married through the internet and many other people were telling me its ok to chat through the internet. However I always had this feeling it wasn't.
And you really pinpointed my thought 'When a person jumps into fire, would you follow her?' when I was writing here to get advice that was exactly what crossed my mind and I really am trying not to speak to him since then.
And I really am honored that I am a muslim, and even if I did take off my scarf (which I won't) I wouldn't have changed my religion.
Thank you for your comment. 🙂
Sister lalala,
Chatting on the internet per se is not Haraam. What is Haraam is privet conversations with non Mahram men. You can read the following fatwaa on this subject: http://www.islamqa.com/en/pda/ref/islamqa/34841
Alhamdulillah, you are trying to stop talking to him.
Audhu billahi minash shaitanir rajeem,
Waalayakum assalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu to my brother and sisters who have replied.
and Assalam aolykum wr wb to the questioning sister.
I completely agree with the brother and sister above who aforementioned there comments.This happens when you dont learn religion on your own ,when we dont learn to imply and understand. May Allah give us all the understanding of Quraan and make us imply ameen
You contradict yourself by saying that you completely affirm that he will not be coming if he KNOWS THAT YOU ARE A MUSLIM? AND ON THE OTHER END YOU ARE PRESUMING TO BECOME AN APOSTATE FOR HIM (NAZUBILLAH) MAY ALLAH HELP YOU ALLAHU MUSTAAN.
This is the shaytan which is making you commit all this and i congratulate you that you have asked a question in line to this issue .Remember if Allah swt wants something good to happen to someone HE gives the understanding of Islam to those person.Your greatest mistake that you ARE COMMITTING MISTAKE KNOWINGLY WHICH WILL DOUBLE YOUR PUNISHMENT.You are lucky enough that ALLAH SWT HAS SAVED YOU FROM THE SIN OF GIRL AND BOY BEING ALONE UNMARRIED. AND U KNOW VERY WELL WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT. And later you will be righting another question on repenting and actualising your mistake . (may Allah forbid ameen).So why to LET THE VIRUS SPREAD CUT IT OUT FROM THE ROOT .Bismillah
Wrapping up CUT ,CLOSE ALL THE CONTACTS WITH HIM ,.THAT GUY IS A DEVIL. WHO WILL LEAD YOU TO HELL FIRE,FORNICATION AND MANY GRIEVOUS SINS. AT first you would feel it hard but beleive mE YOUR HEART WILL BE AT PEACE WHEN U WILL DO THIS. BECAUSE YOU DO IT,SACRIFICE YOUR WIILL,DESIRES FOR THE CREATOR NOT THE CREATION.
There is no reason to be confused thats it! You dont have one valid reason to be in touch with him?!!!
Fee amanallah .
Miss Iman I also thank you very much and LOL you're really funny 'THAT GUY IS A DEVIL' I laughed when I saw that!
I appreciate your comment however I would have preferred it if you had considered my feelings (just a little).
I am not sure about him not coming if he knew I was a muslim ...but I guess everyone here knows how people in other parts of the world ESPECIALLY USA, look at us muslims.
But I guess if he likes me for who I am and not what I look like, he would have also liked me in person, regardless of religion.
But I really like your comment 🙂
Salaams,
It sounds like the posters above have warned you well enough about the risks of zina and apostasy if you continue the course you are on. One thing was not mentioned, however, and that's the fact that this relationship with this guy has no future at all for you. All of the investment you've put into it so far is a waste, because you cannot marry anyone other than another Muslim man.
You think this is just about mixing sexes and haraam relationship, but it's more than that. This is your very faith on the line. You are doing the emotional equivalent of flushing money down the toilet, because you are letting your emotions get involved with someone who will always be off limits to you. I can tell you after having been a Christian for myself for 11 years before converting to Islam, that there is nothing about that belief that will sustain you over time. It's a dead end. If you really want the path that will lead to a vibrant future- it's in Islam. Re-commit your life to the truth you have known all along, and leave the foolish to their folly.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Miss Amy thank you very much. And I haven't really had the time to read the poster but I will inshallah.
Thanks for the advice and I shall try and leave the foolish to their folly. 😀
lalala,
Again...I read up on another Muslim girl doing a foolish thing that could affect her entire future...her family...her reputation and so forth.
Think long and hard about what you are are doing. You can never turn back the hands of time and undo the things you do within your life. We get no do overs, no second chances. It is what it is.
This person that you talk to via the web is just one of millions of guys who talk to millions of others every single day. You should read this website and see just how many girls every day fall prey to talking to guys online and where things lead. No where. Some girls end up burned and some will end up pregnant and alone. I am not saying this will happen to you but the likelihood of you going nowhere with this is high.
Think of your parents here. Think of how they will feel if after all the years they have raised you...do they deserve this? Do they deserve your deceit? Do you deserve better? Yes...you do.
The internet is an amazing tool yet so many young girls are doing the exact thing that you are and the statistics are not in your favor. Stop your foolishness, you know better. Want to get married...go to your mother. She raised you better, she deserves better and you know it.
With all my love and respect...Salam
how can you trust someone off the internet he could be a really violent bad person.
i really cant believe in what you are sying!! you want to convert to christianiy? sorry, but i think you are a hypocrit; you wear hijab and still considering converting. instead of telling him to convert to islam; you have this kind of thoughts. astagfirullah!