Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Muslim man with hearing impairment

Assalamualaikum ,

MAY THE PEACE AND BLESSINGS OF ALLAH BE UPON OUR HOLY PROPHET AND MAY ALLAH BLESS HIS FAMILY AND HIS COMPANION AND THE WHOLE OF UMMAH

I am a practising muslim who is in desperate need to get married to prevent haram activities like visual or through any other modern technology although i would not be in relationship yet i feel lonely and want legal partner or spouse.I really feel very lonely except when i am not praying or reading The Holy Qur'an or  watching islamic videos or like that.I am currently studying in University,doing Masters degree in life science.So presently i am not doing any job but i hope Allah will make me self sufficient in future (presently i am fully dependent on my father who is very old getting pension from a govt. job.He also wants me to get married as as much as my mom too but he don't get courage to ask for any muslimah's hand owing to my condition fearing rejection(one of my own uncle's wife left him after few days most probably due to his short stature which drained our confidence too).I am sorry to say but i have high desire to get married that i can't always control my sight and sometime my eyes gaze at muslimah not lustfully though but hoping it the other way.I am presently 25.What best can be done owing to my hearing condition can't be treated nor can we afford cochlear implant which is only option left apart from Allah's boundless mercy of course.I SPECIFICALLY  don't ask Allah to reverse my hearing but keep praying whatever test it is i pray He keeps my Imaan high and not go astray.Can i ever get married or any girl will be willing to marry me?Everyone console me like my friends but in reality the person who would be my partner seems the only honest one though that i should go somewhere else and that they or she is really sorry for not able to accept my request.May Allah cease all of Ummah's pain,Aameen

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5 Responses »

  1. Assalam u alykum,

    Bless you. May Allah bless you and shower His Rahmah on you.
    Well done for staying steadfast on your deen.

    It is not necessary that every girl wil reject based on the hearing impairment.
    Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Everyone has a different perspective and view point.
    Please don't feel that your uncle was rejected because of such a shallow reason; like his height, that it means that you will go through the same.

    Everyone is different and not everyone is shallow.

    From a girl's perspective, I know that I would not reject someone's proposal based simply on their hearing impairment.

    I would consider his deen, whether he is practising, his education, his manners, character, physical appearance, etc. I guess what I'm saying is that this would not be paramount for me in deciding. I can only offer my example at the moment.

    There will be many girls that will share the same views as me as there are many girls who would not. There will be girls who may be attracted to you because you are practising and you are well educated, etc. It may not bother them that you have a hearing impairment.

    Please don't lose hope. And don't feel like you are inferior. Allah has given different tests to everyone.

    Keep praying, keep strong and have hope, my dear brother.

    Your sis in Islam x

    • And I am one of those that shares the same views. InshaAlllah bi'idhnillah you'll get someone who will love you just the way you're don't let it way you down even if one or 2 rejects you it's leading you to the better and preparing you too. Even men who have no issues get there proposals reject
      Billions of times

  2. First of all, you need to stop being and acting so desperate, because it's a really repulsive and unattractive trait in ANYBODY. Combine that with lack of confidence, and you have the reason why you're unmarried right there in front of you.

    It's normal to want companionship, but no one has the right or the guarantee to get married in this life. If you want to get married, you have to actively put yourself out there. Go meet people, sign up on a marriage website, find a matchmaker, ask your family and friends to introduce you to people...that's how you get one step closer to meeting a potential wife.

    And yeah, please work on your desperation and lack of confidence, too. Just because you have a handicap, doesn't mean people are going to reject you. How about joining an club or organisation for people with hearing impairment where you can meet women with the same handicap as you? Women that, like you, fear rejection because of their handicap?

  3. Walaikum As Salam Brother

    You have an hearing impairment. Well let me tell you, even those who dont have that deficiency yet dont hear what needs to be heared. You are far way better than such folks.

    Dont posess that negative attitude that you will be rejected. Why? Not everyone who doesnt have that impairment have a masters degree in Life sciences. You seems to be amazingly Educated Masha ALLAH. Someone rejecting you for the deficiency means not your loss but that persons loss and ofcourse of her family too.

    There definately will be someone who would accept you for who and what you are regardless of the other things. That all impairment and all doesnt counts into all that at all. It has got nothing to do with not having a life partner. Just ward of the negative thoughts that you have gathered. Dont think about something on the negative node even when something like that has not even happened. So why think about it ?

    And yes, dont forget to invite us we all for your nikaah. May ALLAH (SWT) BLESS YOU and fulfill all your wishes. Ameen. Sum AmeeN

    Wa Salam !

  4. Assalaamualaikum

    InshaAllah you will find the right woman to marry. From what you've written, you sound like a good man, who has faith, intelligence and good character - you just need to believe in yourself! Don't just look for any woman - look for the right woman.

    Have you tried going through organisations which help Muslims with hearing impairments search for spouses? I did a quick online search and there are several such organisations around the world, so inshaAllah you can find one near you.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

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