Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Muslim Shiia in distress

Extra-marital affairs are haram in Islam.

Worst. Advice. Ever.

I am married to a Christian man. I was separated from my Muslim family at an early age but have been reunited over 40 years later. The problem is that myself and my cousin have fallen in love. Adultery is punishable offence from Allah. My cousin he is not married. I do not feel I will divorce my husband for he loves me. We, my husband and I, have nearly no sexually relations.  Even separate sleeping rooms - this is part of my desire for my cousin. Advice requested please.

nskalla10


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6 Responses »

  1. first of all you should have not married outside the religion. Why is that you and your christian husband sleeping in different rooms, i don't think that is normal. And clearly you are missing the sexual satisfaction in your life from that situation, but i think it would be haram that you have a extamartial affair with your cousin. Either you figure out how to fix the intimate relationship with your christian husband or divorce him and start a relationship with your cousin.

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    Firstly, having an affair with anyone (including your cousin) is a very bad idea. It's a grave sin in Islam and it can only lead to hurt for everyone involved. Don't do it!

    Secondly, in Islam, there are boundaries that should be in place between males and females who could marry each other - you and your cousin should not be spending time alone or communicating privately, both of you should be lowering your gaze and dressing modestly, etc. One reason for these limits is to reduce the risk of inappropriate attractions developing which could tempt us to have an affair (we are warned not to go near zina).

    Thirdly, I think it's important for you to be aware of and think about the nature of your relationship with your husband. You mention that he is Christian. Islamically, a Muslim woman cannot marry or remain married to a non-Muslim man. We don't know the full details of your situation (eg. were you brought up as a Muslim even though you were separated from your family? do you identify yourself as a Muslim due to your own faith in Islam?) - but I'd advise discussing the situation with an experienced scholar, and considering whether your husband is open to the idea of accepting Islam. Until the situation is clarified and your husband makes a decision, it will be important to observe Islamic limits with him.

    Midnightmoon
    IslamicAnswers.com editor

  3. OP: The problem is that myself and my cousin have fallen in love. Adultery is punishable offence from Allah. My cousin he is not married. I do not feel I will divorce my husband for he loves me.

    I am not sure what your question is? Do you want to stay married and continue sexual relationship with your cousin? What country do you live in? How old are you and how old is your cousin?

    You very well know only Muslim men are allowed to have multiple relationships.

  4. I am curious why the title mentions "Muslim Shia"?

  5. Asalaam alaikum,

    Is it correct to assume that since you were separated from your family at an early age that you weren't raised within the religion of Islam? If so, you have to ask yourself how you see yourself now, what exactly do your practice and believe?

    If you're still getting these messages and care to elaborate on your situation, if it is still current, please do.

  6. Your marriage with this christian man is invalid as a muslim woman can't marry a kaafir.

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