Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My boyfriend is another caste so my family won’t let me marry him

caste system prejudice

The caste system is not from Islam. It is prevalent in the Indian Subcontinent because of Hinduism.

I love a guy I met in college 3 years ago. We've been together for over 2 years now. We understand each other and we are the best of friends. The thing is his family knows about me and they are happy with us but my family doesn't.

Even though he's a really decent person from a decent family and he's perfect there's only one reason why my family will say no. The reason is that he's not my caste.. And my family at any cost will not marry me to anyone outside of our caste.

Can you please tell me of a wazifa a dua something I can do or read that will change my father's and brother's mind. Please help me, thank you so much.


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5 Responses »

  1. Are you calling from middle age or am I confused?
    Caste? still?

    if American movies couldn't help teaching human rights to your family I don't think İslam can help.

    However your soul is free for choices and there are several sahabas threaten by death with their families after they chose İslam.

    If ignorance of family hamper your happiness just ignore ignorance.

    (I assume the story is true word by word and the real reason behind your family's rejection is not that guy is drug dealer 🙂

    • fatih u said"if American movies couldn't help teaching human rights to your family I don't think İslam can help." -- what non sense is this.

  2. Just pray to Allah and make istikharah. If this marriage will produce blessings and is best for you, have confidence that Allah will make everything easy for you. Pray to Allah to help you, and if things don't feel right or you feel like you're headed nowhere, have patience. I totally understand about the whole caste/tribal system. People naturally want others like them to enter their families so they can feel familiar. It is partially understandable but in your case, the guy doesn't seem to have faults.And Islam doesn't allow discrimination. I can only give you one piece of advice.
    Allah says in the Qur'an:

    (.. if any of My servants ask you about Me, tell them that the Lord says, "I am near; I accept the prayers of those who pray." Let My servants answer My call and believe in Me so that perhaps they may know the right direction.)
    Surat Baqarah 2:186

    When I am faced with a problem that ayah always comforts me. Allah says 'those who pray' meaning those who asked Allah, regardless of their past actions. Allah loves us and is waiting for us to call to Him for help.

    May Allah aid you in your situation.
    Hope I helped.

  3. Assalaamualaikam

    The caste system from the Indian subcontinent is derived from Hinduism and cultural traditions, and has no basis in Islam. In fact, it actually goes against core Islamic teachings of equality, acceptance of people of all races and backgrounds, and of deen and character being of the most importance. To refuse a proposal from a good and practising Muslim due to such a system would not be a valid Islamic reason for refusal.

    At the same time, though, boyfriend-girlfriend relationships are also not part of Islam. Islamically, there is no couple without nikah, so until nikah, you and this boy should treat each other as non-mahrams ... so, no being alone, no physical or emotional intimacy, observing proper guidance for covering your awrahs, etc. If you have crossed these limits, both of you will need to repent for the transgressions and ensure they aren't repeated.

    If you and this boy want to marry, then the next step would be for him and his family to approach yours with a proposal. If, as you suspect, your family reject the proposal based on the caste system, then you have the right to make contact with your local imam, explain the situation to him and ask him to discuss the matter with your parents. InshaAllah, they may be persuaded then to look beyond the caste system. Should they continue to follow the caste system instead of Islamic guidance, then you would be within your rights to have another person such as the imam act as your wali, should no other male relatives be prepared to look beyond the caste system. Whoever acts as your wali, they can then look at the proposal and investigate to see if this boy is indeed of good faith and character.

    Before taking action, though, pray istikhara and trust in Allah's guidance. If you are looking for specific duas, it might help to read the section of this website on the subject ('Dua in Islam').

    Midnightmoon editor

  4. It's ur life 🙂 if he is good to u then I say marry him put ur foot down 🙂

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