Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My boyfriend kissed my neck and I FEEL SO GUILTY

Interactions between the engaged couple

about a week ago, i was out with my boyfriend and all of the sudden he started kissing my neck and i didn't stop him, to be honest i liked it but then i went home i started to cry and i feel so guilty and i feel like god won't forgive me. I want to tell my boyfriend that he should stop but i can't help feeling that he will leave me and i don't want to lose him but at the same time i don't want to do something like this again.

halaakhal


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13 Responses »

  1. Boyfriend ?kissing? WELL KEEP CONTINUING LIKE THIS AND YOU WILL NEVER SUCCEED.JUST IMAGE E IF DEATH CAME TO EITHER ONE OF YOU.WHAT WOULD BE THE END RESULT.BUT BECAUSE YOUR IMAN IS SO WEAK YOU DIDN'T THOUGHT OF IT.IN THIS LIFE ALLAH HAS GIVEN THIS BODY AS A TRUST.WE HAVE TO USE IT IN HIS OBEDIENCE OR ELSE WE WILL BE QUESTIONED ABOUT IT ON THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT. DON'T THINK YOU WILL LIVE LONG?THAT IS THE BIG DECEPTION FROM SHAITAN.GOOD LUCK

    • Hi Rual

      There is no need to do all of these in caps. We get the message all your doing is spamming. So stop. Things happen for a reason and by accident therefore not making it haram.
      You need to stop using caps for every single character. Spamming is a bannable approach to any site. Watch it.

      I also have a friend (boy), He has a crush on me, vice versa. The best way to approach a situation like that is to wait. It is haram, But if the individual is ready to be blessed by the others parents it doesn't make it haram.

      Please next time you read a post, Next of the positives and negatives of the situation. So that you will know how to approach it.

      Cheers

      • Anya Khalid: I also have a friend (boy), He has a crush on me, vice versa. The best way to approach a situation like that is to wait. It is haram

        Why do you think Islam prohibits girls contact with non-Mehrams? Best way to approach is to tell your parents that you like this boy. Your attraction could easily lead to more stuff.

      • his name is raul
        ***Spamming is a bannable approach to any site. Watch it.. so you are provoking every one here to stand against him, his message is correct. whatever he is doing he is giving the best message .

    • Rather than asking others to imagine about there Death. You imagine about your own death first. Are you a Wahabi or a Talibani ? Your replies are deadly extreme.

      And there is no need to Live long as long as you make your life BIG.

  2. Asalam o alaikum,

    The more you allow him the more you'll go deep and towards zina. Just stop him and don't worry about breakup as if he breaks up on this thing then he is not right for you and probably is with you just for this.... On other hand this boyfriend/girlfriend thins is not allowed in Islam. This is a haram relationship. Just look at the picture above...

    Repent for the relationship and this kiss. Bring modesty in your life and move on. Trust ALLAH and leave him for ALLAH's sake. If you are feeling guilty then you know you are doing wrong so make this wrong right and come back to right path.

    Pray for all. Stay blessed and happy

  3. Sister,

    If you think that your "boyfriend" is going to stop at your neck, you are dead wrong. He is just testing the waters so to speak. The next time you see him, he is going to try to take things further than your neck. You need to stop things dead in their tracks or you are going to end up doing something that you cannot undo.

    Sister, fear Allah and end things with this boy. He will drag you down only as long as you allow him. He is looking to score and nothing more. Please don't be another statistic of a young girl who ends up taken advantage of or worse...pregnant. Seek forgiveness with Allah and stop things with this boy now or prepare to live with the consequences of your actions.

    Salam

  4. hey , what he did to you is natural since you are in flesh and filled with passions and that too such things seem to be desirable . So, forget whatever happened but now there is one solution for you if you wan to marry him tell him not to touch you neither sit beside you touching your bodies cause chemistry starts and tell him you want to marry him. if he says yes then also do get closer until you both r married

  5. Sister you realized that you comitted a mistake. That is like some percent of the repenting is done.

    That guy seems to have no Religious knowledge. Would have he had, he wouldnt have had done such thing and made you an equal partner in that sin.

    You got it now stop it before something more worse happens. If you dont stop him that would mean you are giving him a GREEN signal and you would be the culprit more than him.

    Also all this is HARAM. I dont know if you are still carrying books or working. But concentrate on your career. To do all these things whole life is there with your future husband. Save yourself from such grave sins.

    You tell him that this is all wrong. And then if he choses to leave you then really consider yourself the most luckiest and thank ALLAH for opening your eyes.

    Wa Salam

  6. Salam sister,

    This is an easy question. Hard for you to see, but easy for the commenters to see through. Here's the things wrong:

    1) Boyfriend. You know it's wrong so knock it off.
    2) You are afraid you might lose him by speaking your opinion. Never put up with that boyfriend-dictator-of-your-life nonesense.
    3) He isn't afraid of Allah. Not good "marriage material."
    4) He's a wimpy kid too scared to ask your parents' permission.

    The end. Sorry if it hurts, dear sister, but all of us girls commenting here probably have similar experiences. Ask him to talk to your parents NOW or dump him.

    Salams,
    Shereen

  7. Sister,

    I am happy that Allah has still kept khushoo (fear of allah) in your heart even after you been to haram relationship. Its not practical to have fear of loosing bf and loosing allah same time. You may decide which feeling is stronger and it will be always the fear of allah, otherwise you wouldnt have worried of transgressing the limits of allah for your bf. Avoid him slowly. Whomever you love, you will only get the life partner which allah planned for you who is greatest planner.

    Never allow him to make you loose that portion of khushoo left on your heart. Eventually, your heart will become so hard and black (in the absence of khushoo) that you will not even feel guilty for committed zina as you felt for whatever you mentioned here. Remember sister, When whole world is busy in fulfilling their temporary desires, you need to take care of your imaan, only you can do this for you. Get up before the momentum of crying after the act of zina comes in your life and learn from those are still crying for committed zina and cursing their so called bfs for taking them granted.

    May Allah protect all of us from sins.

  8. I think that if a physical relationship causes you so much stress, it should just be platonic - just friends only. Girlfriend / boyfriend relationships are physical more than friends type things. Touching, holding hands, kissing, going on dates together is normal stuff for boyfriend/girlfriend. But if that's too much for u why ru in it in the first place? Best thing to do is let it be, tell the boy where u both stand. U must take a stand for yourself NOW or boys will walk over u all your life. Also if you're serious in your religious and want to follow in the footsteps of Allah, there isn't much choice now is there?
    Or u could just relax and let life take its course? Who knows what's around the corner, love n riches, when u both have run off together never to return hiding in secret for the sake of your "illicit" tryst, out of money and options with baby on the way.. obvious is the answer.

  9. I am a 25 yr old girl , single from Southeast Asia . I have a friend who lives in West (we both originally belong to same country. We both are school mates ( random friends ) at school . I havent met this guy for more than a decade since school due to long distance but I would always consult him if I needed advise over social media . Even thought we weren’t best friends . But now since a year we have been texting every single day . Cause we have the same profession , likes and dislikes ( both doctors ) , both planning to settle in same country , so we kind of became best friends . We would causally flirt some times but it was nothing serious . We both belong to different sectors of Islam . We has asked me to Convert a couple of times . But I took it as a joke . Now we have both confessed we like each other . I try to Keep it simple in our conversation considering we have to married future but he some times tries to cross the line ( not that bad ) but still bad enough . He confessed that he has sexual thoughts about me . He has asked for my pictures on snap chat many times lately . First ,I thought it’s because he just wants to see me . But now m sacred and disgusted . I can’t stop myself from having sexual thoughts about him too ( I didn’t tell him that ) . I even dream about him ( not sexual ) , but may times .Some of my friends say he is into me for my resident ship in this country(xyz), he wants to secure his future. We both understand we are doing it wrong ! And now have decided to take a break for some time because our friend ship is going the wrong way .
    Pls guide me away from such feelings and thoughts towards him . I can’t focus on studying , or my profession . I feel good and disgusted at myself same time
    .For 25 yrs I have kept myself away from such relations , in hard times ( living in diff countries and having friends from diff religion ) . I will be getting married soonto a suitable man IA , after I pass my exam . But why am I so restless now. ?! pls guide me .

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