Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My ex-boyfriend is blackmailing me…


As salam walaikum,

I am 20yr old girl from pakistan. I've been in a relationship with my ex boyfriend from past 5yrs. This January I broke up with him. He used to trouble me so much and always ask me to give him my nude images and etc and intend me to do so. And if I would say no he would blackmail me that he will kill himself or cut his nerves and I would then give him hearing all those things. And he would ask me to do sex and do court marriage but I never did that all.

But by giving my nude pics I'm very much scared. I'm ashamed that how I was with him in relationship for 5yrs, he even doesn't deserve me at all. I've sinned and I've repented to Allah.

Now after we broke up he is blackmailing me that he will upload my pics in internet. And I'm scared that my parents and relatives would see it and they will kill me. Then I don't know whether the pics are with him or not, but he is saying that he will upload and show to my parents.

I'm going to get married next month. My fiance knows everything I've said him and he has accepted me but except him no one knows anything. The guy who is blackmailing me is from my place itself and the guy whom I'm going to get married also is from my place itself. My fiance is my relative and they are very rich and known dignified family in our place.

I've repented to Allah for forgiveness and prayed a lot and asked dua several times and always in my prayers. If my ex do anything like that I don't know what will happen. Please help me out with this problem. I'm very much depressed, I've sinned and I repent for it... And Allah has given me a good husband but the problem is my ex who is always blackmailing me. Please help me out, I can't live, I am in lots of trouble. Please help me out - how should I stop him?


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14 Responses »

  1. Salam sister, don't worry about Allah punishing you as you have been repenting and Allah is he most merciful in Shaa Allah he will forgive you, and as for your ex what I recommend you to do is go to the police and tell them his threatening you and blackmailing you, I also think you should tell your finance so he knows before hand and doesn't make any silly decisions such as calling off the wedding, if your honest and in the right he will understand in Shaa Allah and like you have said before you have told him everything so he'll most likely understand and I'm sure he will support you, don't worry Allahnis watching your ex will surly get punished in the hereafter but for now I think you should tell the police about it, they have the right to take his gadgets off him and remove and of your pictures give it a try and see if it helps

  2. Asalaam Walaikum Sister.

    Alhamdulillah you have told your Husband to be already. Then why are you worried? If your fiance knows about everything then be grateful he has stuck with you ... this shows your fiances great character and the fact he has accepted that people make mistakes.

    Pray to Allah and never contact your ex ... dont give him any time or space. If you have social media be it Facebook, Twitter etc then delete them as soon as possible. As your ex could potentially send these to all your contacts in your facebook account. All you need to do is protect yourself as best you can if your ex follows through with his threat.

    But remember my Sister ... this ex of yours will face Allah one day, even if he seems to make your life hell tomorrow remember that nothing happens without the permission of Allah and everything happens as planned and whatever the outcome good will come from it. It already has as I gaurantee you the and between you and your Fiance once married will be greater because the fact he supported you even though he knew of the past.

    But yes get rid of social media asap and never contact or ever speak to him again even if he threatens you again. Break all contact and leave the rest to Allah.

    May Allah Forgive us all for the sins and make imthis dunya and akhirah easy for us .... Ameen!

  3. Remove yourself from all social media groups . Don't bother about the black mails .As your future husband already knows about your past and nude pictures so he will be less shocked so don't worry .

    Repent yourself sincerely . You are lucky to get married in rich family with understanding husband after your past mistakes .Thank Allah for it and keep repenting for your sins . Ignore your ex and its threats .

  4. Salam I'm 22& I also do the same mistake,and facing the same problem now a days . he was my friend not boyfriend and we was very frank with each other & I share my pics with him .it was not nudes a regular pictures but as I came to know he is not a good person I dont want to talk to him again.& I cutoff with him. But he start blackmailing me that he will give my pics on internet, he have my phone recordings with him, & my text massages, he have my NIC num , & my houes adress, & my university class fellows phone numbers ,he is threatening me that he is going to send all these thing to my class fellows, or come in my house & show my pics to my mom, I cutoff my self from all social media, & changed my sim but I'm secured that he will send my pics or recordings to my class fellows or in my university , know I dont know what to doo , my family is so strict they gonna kill me , if they came to know that what is happening in my life. Thats why I can't share this with them. :'( please give me the best answer.

  5. m also facing the same problem pls help me........ what should i do

  6. pray to ALLAH and repent and cry ,ALLAH will forgive u and did nothing IN SHALLAH

  7. pray to ALLAH and repent and cry ,ALLAH will forgive u and did nothing IN SHALLAH

  8. What should a girl do when she is being blackmailed by her ex' friends because her ex bf exposed her and then threatens to expose her in front of world and internet ? The police here can't do anything as they are real Pakistanis so what should she do against the blackmailers to save her career , education , job, and most importantly if her parents get to know this then they would kill her ? This is the story of my close bestie plus I need advice's I m really worried

    • hey I have been a victim of this since past one ex sent my pictures to my parents!! my parents are very scared of the society so I told them that guy has deleted my pictures!! but he kept blackmailing me after that too !! I threatened him that I will tell his parents ...he still did not stop!! then a month ago he called up my mum again ..then I got really angry and called his parents up and cried in front of them and told them I'll go to the police!!! now he is not bothering me !! please do not show this blackmailer that ur scared ..they feed on your fear !! do not show that your family is conservative ...try to show that ur going out of country America or some libral country !! threaten the blackmailer that uve registered a police case against him !!! do not show that ur weak !! cut off all contact !! use social media to manipulate them ..raise your concern on cyber bullying etc on facebook and make sure it's visible to them !! do not show that u fear them !! I hope this helps !! pray to god ..

  9. Wa Alaikum salam, I'm facing the same problem except that I've never met my ex-boyfriend, we were from different cities. We talked on social media I was young and naive back then. We broke up because I wasn't comfortable at all I felt like he was using me, then he started blackmailing me with some videos he recorded from our video calls and sent me screenshots of my parents' accounts on social media as a hint for blackmail. I confronted him saying that this was blackmail but he said that he didn't mean it and that he loves me and all. I immediately removed my presence from social media. He never contacted me directly since then but he kept commenting on my family posts (and he is not related to them) comments such as "nice" until one day he sent me a message on my new social media account (I was using fake username) asking me if I was somewhere, saying that he saw me, I never responded.

    I'm really scared and living in fear. Every time I think that he might someday ruin my life. Every time I think finally he forgot about me, he appears again from somewhere. I can't delete my social media presence at all since I need it in my career. I can't go to the police either, they won't help me.

    And what scares me most is losing my future partner who's so kind and polite, I love him and I already introduced him to my mother and we're planning marriage once I finish my studies but I never told him, I don't know if I should. I really don't know what to do I keep asking Allah to guide me.

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