Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My family falling

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By the grace of Allah I have everything in my life. A good husband, two beautiful kids, but still I am in saitans path.... I did post few problems and here I got some advice and tried to solve that way. After 2 years again I made terrible mistake I lied to my husband now he is really upset in me, and it's only because of my new born son he is keeping me with him.

I am really ashamed of my Sins and begging Allah to forgive me, still I need some advice is there any dua or anything I can read to make my family and my husband happy? And special dua for keeping saitan away from me? Please help me my family is falling apart and I need your help....


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2 Responses »

  1. Assalauaaikum sister,

    May Allah Unite your hearts on love and trust.

    You must have learnt that lies are the greatest enemy of healthy reltionships, with exceptions, of course.

    You love your husband and are feeling guilty for what you have done, right? Then sister, try to convince him and pray to Allah that He Unites your hearts again. I heard from Shaikh Ahmad al Hawwashi that a person came to him and had made up his mind to divorce his wife. This was in Ramadan when he had come to Shaikh's masjid for I'tikaaf. After the moon was sighted for Eid, he returned home and came to Shaikh with goodnews that he was with his wife, better than before. Shaikh always recites the following Aayah to stress that none can unite the hearts but Allah:

    وألف بين قلوبهم لو أنفقت ما في الأرض جميعاً ما ألفت بين قلوبهم ولاكن الله ألف بينهم إنه عزيز حكيم
    And brought together their hearts. If you had spent all that is in the earth, you could not have brought their hearts together; but Allah brought them together. Indeed, He is Exalted in Might and Wise. (8:63)

    Allah Is The All Wise, He Is The All Hearer and Seer, He Is The One Who Answers our du'as. He IsThe Creator, The King of all that exists. Turn to Him and call uupon Him with His Beautiful Names and Attributes.

    Apologize to your husband for the mistakes and assure that there will be transparency in the future and you won't hurt him. And in sha Allah, Shaitan won't be successful. Creating discord among married individuals is one of the most valued deeds of Shaitan and we must beware.

    In the end, have a look at this:

    Title: Companionship of a Righteous Wife

    Author: Shaykhul Islaam Taqee ad-Deen ibn Taymiyyah

    Reference: Majmoo’ al-Fataawa 35/299

    The righteous woman will remain in the company of her husband – if he is a righteous man – for many years. She is the ‘enjoyment’ that the Messenger of Allaah (sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam) spoke about, ((This world is only enjoyment, and the best of its enjoyment is a righteous believing woman. If you look towards her, she amazes you; if you encourage her with something. She obeys you; if you are absent from her, she preserves you within herself and your wealth.))[1]

    A ‘righteous woman’ is what the Prophet (sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam) ordered with in his statement when the Muhaajiroon asked him, “What type of wealth should we acquire?”

    He replied, ((a tongue that is in constant remembrance, a heart which is grateful or a righteous woman who helps you in your Faith.))[2]

    Love and mercy that Allaah has blessed her with through His Book emanates from her. So sometimes the pain of separation (divorce) is more severe upon her than death, it is more severe than the disappearance of wealth and more severe upon her than leaving her country. More so when there exists a [deep] relationship between each other or if they have children who will be ruined and their situation destroyed if the husband and wife separate.

    Barak Allahu Feeki

    Abu Abdul Bari Editor

  2. Assalaamualaikam

    Without knowing the details of your situation, it's difficult to give specific advice. One thing that might help, though, is to ensure you are taking an active role in trying to resolve matters. Talk with your husband, with a mediator or in couples counselling if need be, and try to find what it is he needs in order to rebuild your relationship - trust is difficult to establish and easily shattered, but if both parties are committed to working on it, it can be repaired.

    It will be important for your children's sakes to be able to provide them with a loving and stable family home, and growing up in an environment in which there is hostility and resentment will not be beneficial to them; inshaAllah you and your husband both want what is best for your children, so prioritise their needs and ensure they have an upbringing in which their mother and father are at the very least civil and respectful of each other and united in caring for the children.

    You mention being on shaitan's path; it's important to remember that all shaitan can do is whisper to us. We have free will - he cannot force us to act on temptations. When you feel tempted, seek refuge in Allah, pray, and know that as a Muslimah you have the strength to resist these whispers.

    If you aren't already, ensure you pray regularly, and learn more about Islam in order to grow stronger in your faith. Most towns and cities will have sisters-only classes and study groups which you could join, and you can keep up to date with community projects through your local masjid (maybe you and your family could get involved in some charitable work together?).

    May Allah grant you and your family the strength to rebuild what has been damaged, and to grow closer to Him.

    Midnightmoon editor

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