Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My family will disown me if I stay with my husband

Assalamu walaykum. I am so confused and need some help for making a decision.

I am 29 years old married woman. I got married 2 years back without my parents' consent. Our marriage procedure was completed in presence of two witnesses ( they were my husband's uncles). My parents told me that our marriage is invalid. Because of absence of wali from my side during marriage.

My first question is about our validity of marriage. Is it valid or not?

For last 2 years, I am trying to patch up everything. My in-laws have also tried several times to contact with my parents to solve everything. But my parents are stubborn. According to my parents, problems are - my husband is 3.5 years younger than me and his family status is lower than mine ( though both my husband and i belong to same profession now). They have already told me that I won't  be able to go to Jannah as I disobeyed them. On the other hand, they will disown me if I don't give divorce to him. I love my parents so much and don't  want to hurt them anymore. But I also want to stay with my husband. We love each other so much. He always makes me feel that I am everything to him. In fear of losing both my parents and husband, I couldn't concentrate in my regular work,study or career, sometimes I hurt my husband too. But still he loves me so much and doesn't want lose me anyhow.

My second question is-  Should I go back to my parents and accept there advices/divorce my husband to please them?

last question is- if our marriage is invalid then is there any necessity of divorce in islam?

Thanks in advance.

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3 Responses »

  1. Just stay with your husband. From what I could gather by reading your brief explanation, I do not find that you have committed a 'grave sin'. The most important thing is if you are happy with your husband. If the answer is yes, then there is nothing much to contemplate. Your parents should treat you as an adult and must know that you are not bound to simply follow their commands.

  2. Salaam alaikum. Yes your parents reason to be against this marriage are not allowed. But the fact remains without a wali from your side during the nikkah invalidates the nikkah. It's in the Quran. But look it up to make sure.

  3. OMG I AM SO SORRY FOR WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. What's done is done now. Please don't divorce your husband, if your parents are saying you will go to hell for disobeying them then know that they will go to hell to for trying to divorce a husband and wife. When a couple gets divorced, satan celebrates his victory and Allah is displeased. Although divorce is not haram, it is only allowed in certain circumstances like if the partner is abusive or mental or cheating or such and he/she does not agree to change his/her ways. Do not go back to your parents and stay with your husband, it is your right both as a muslim AND a human being. You're an adult now and they have no say over your decisions. Do what pleases Allah, not them. Allah has certainly seen your efforts to reconcile with your parents my dear but it is they who are not ready to accept you or your husband and in this case it is THEM who have broken their relation with you and Allah does not like that therefore breaking ties is HARAM in islam and a lot of emphasis has been put on this fact in both quran and hadith. I don't know the correct wording but go to the local mosque and meet the imam or the scholar who gives lectures about islam and ask for his advice regarding your marriage if no one else replies to this post. I wish you all the best. May Allah make you successful in this world and the hereafter ameen. Assalam O Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa baraqatuh.

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