Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My father is blocking my marriage

woman lady

Asalam wa alaykom wa rahmat Allahu wa barakatuh.

My father & I were very close. We always travel overseas for 3 months. He has a best friend over there that he grew up with.

Years went on & my fathers friends son proposed to me. My father has always wanted us for each other. I never wanted to get engaged to this guy, but my father convinced me. Eventually I gave in & got engaged.

The second I wore the ring I knew he wasn't for me. I got home in the night of my engagement crying because of what I got myself into.

When I came back to Australia (home country) I broke off the relationship because I was very unhappy.

I am a female well into religion & he just wasn't what I wanted in a man. He never reminded me of Allah SWT.

I don't come from a religious family at all so my father was very unhappy with the decision I made. We stopped speaking for a few months & when we finally spoke again he kept trying to convince me back into the relationship, yet I refused.

Months went by ..

One day me & a friend went to have lunch & a man seen me. He sent a sister to approach me to ask for my mothers number so he can do everything the halal way.

I was impressed, his mother called my mother & in our tradition my mother would normally say "Ill call you back once I speak to my husband" to organise a date so they can come over.

My entire family agreed for them to come.

The past 2 months there has been miscommunication. He decided to call himself & ask for a day to come over. My mother again said ill call you back.

I was shocked .. why again?

She said to me my father has changed his mind.

The past week we have been trying to convince my father. Yesterday I spoke to him myself telling him I want to give this man a chance. He's been to hajj, studies the Quran, he prays, fasts & has a job. To me thats perfect & there's no reason to reject.

My father said this to me.. I will NOT forgive you for what you done (leaving my ex fiancè), I am not your father.

I begged for forgiveness yet he refused.

I offered to marry the guy he wants just so he can forgive me, again.. he refused.

I was in tears. My own father dis-owned me. He blocked my naseeb & ontop of that wont forgive me for something which Allah has written.

I told him its haram what he's doing & its wrong.. he just doesn't care.

I dont know what to do any more, I prayed istikhara twice & both times I got beautiful dreams about this man that I want. I feel kheir towards him.

Ive been praying & making dua so much.

Is there any recommendations? What should I do? Do I have rights?

Jazakom'Allahu khayrun.


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2 Responses »

  1. You certainly have rights. No one can force you to marry someone you don't want and no one can prevent you from marrying a pious man. Your father is trying to manipulate you and punish you for defying him. My personal take is that eventually he will relent and meet this other man. Perhaps the new proposal made him relive the anger and embarrassment he felt when you rejected his friends son. With time he'll get over it, it seems he loves you and he will not disown you or stand in the way of your happiness inshallah. In the meantime, maybe someone in your family can talk some sense into him. Inshallah with time and patience things will work out for the best.

  2. Dear Sister,
    It is not permissible in Islam to arrange marriage of your child somewhere where he/she is not satisfied. Yours is a tough situation but as the other replier before me "NE" said that he is your father he still loves you it's just the time that has made him angry it will settle down but in the mean time don't stop praying to ALLAH and asking for his help and also tell the man you love that instead of calling, he and his parents should come to visit your parents and may the ALLAH help you.

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