Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My father molested me – so how do I marry the man I love?

Girl with hidden face, teenage girl


i will very much appreciate it if a mullah or someone that is a practicing islam answer this please

hi I am a 16 year old girl almost 17 I was Molested by my father since 5 but I don't know if I'm doing ghuna by having hate towrds him?

I am in love with this muslim guy 24 years old we grew up with each other as kids and now we are attracted with each other and want to marry but my family will never say yes other then my mother because they think he's taking revenge because his sister and my brother was suppose to marry but it wasn't meant for them by allahs will. He came here to support me through what iv been through and to stay in my life. I am in a foster home so it's hard we would like to do a nikkah but as I said I am in a foster home I have no clue what to do please guid me to me doing a nikkah is the right or wrong thing for my path thank you May Allah reward you inshallah.


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4 Responses »

  1. I am sorry to hear what happened, you have been through a lot.

    Are you sure you want to he married at 17? Think very very hard because marriage is a serious commitment. Are you going to finish high school? Do you want to go to university? Do you wamt children right away?

    Are you marrying him because he is good to you or to run away from your family? If it's to run away, don't do it's make sure his family approves and they are good to you as well.

    As for marriage if not your dad, do you have uncles or brothers who are there for you and can support you? I think if my dad did something unspeakable as molesting I wouldn't want him near me or to get his approval for anything.

    The link below says a family male relative can also be your wali.

    Hope you are doing well, don't make rash decisions, make lots of dua and pray iistikhara. You are still young, if you are not 100% comfortable don't do it, make sure he is truly a good man as you are committed to him.

  2. dont worry which ever u like u do..

  3. Salam sister, I am sorry to hear about the situation. May Allah easy your pain.

    I strongly suggest you pray Salah Istiqhara before continuing. Allah is the only one who can guide you to make the best decision right now.

    I wish you the best.

  4. Assalaamualaikam

    I'm sorry to hear what you have gone through with your father - may Allah ease your burdens and help you find peace. I think it's entirely natural to have negative emotions towards someone who has hurt you in that way - but don't let these rule your life. He's stolen enough of your time and happiness already, so focus your energies on looking forward.

    If you aren't already, it might be worth speaking with a counsellor about what has happened, as they should, inshaAllah, be able to help you deal with what happened and move forward from here.

    You're young and have been through a lot, so make sure that you are emotionally ready for marriage before going ahead with anything. Speak with the people looking after you at the foster home, speak with a counsellor, and if you don't feel ready, don't rush into anything. If he's the right guy, he'll wait until you're ready, inshaAllah. Pray istikhara and trust in Allah to guide you to what is best.

    If the two of you decide to marry, there would be pretty reasonable grounds for saying that your father has given up the role of wali, as he has been abusing his responsibility and the trust placed in him as your guardian. It might be worth speaking with an imam at your local mosque, as they may be able to act as your wali.

    Midnightmoon editor

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