Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My fiancee is out of control!

The Right Girl


I am Pakistani Muslim (male) 23 years of age. My fiancee is a sort of girl who uses to visit almost everyone home in town and don't hide herself from men in those houses. I have many time told her to avoid this practice, but she is not adhering to my suggestion.

Because of her such acts, my heart is slowly getting rude at her and I fear this will ruin our life after marriage.

Kindly suggest any dua, or mode by which I become able to get her to right track.



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4 Responses »

  1. Brother ,

    It seems it will be challenging for you after marriage if her behavior continues .The wisdom is to call it quit when you see some RED flags .
    I think its better to break the engagement if she doesn't listen to you and still keep meeting non mehrem men as it is Un Islamic .

  2. Salaam,

    I think you have to discuss your issues with her before marriage and ask her to change her behavior before marriage.

    There is no point in trying to change her after your marriage. It will make both of your lives miserable.

    If she is the kind of personality who likes to meet lots of people, then she won't change, and if you are not ready to accept her as she is now then you have to think hard about the decision for marriage and wether you will be ok with her being as she is now after marriage also.

    May Allah guide you.

  3. You can't change people, just don't marry them.

  4. What do you mean hide hereself from men? There are men everywhere! As long as she is not being inappropriate and maintaining her modesty, I don't see what the problem is. If however culturally you would prefer that she spent more time at home and only went out With her mahram, then this is something you will need to discuss with her. If she is a generally social bubbly person you won't be able to change her personality, if you force her to be a certain way you will make both your lives miserable. Accept her as she is, never marry someone thinking you will be able to change them, or if you don't like her the way she is it might be better to break off the engagement so that you can both go your own ways and find better matches.

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