Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My friend abandoned me to do badness

peer pressure

Asalaam alaikum wr wb, mash Allah great work,

I''m a girl and I'm having problems with my friendship in school, well my Muslim "friend" left me for another Muslim who isn't a good Muslim at all (drinks and smokes) and because my friend has a revert Muslim mum (meaning she was Sikh before) her mum doesn't really know much about Islam.

‘My friend’ wont realise that it's not good to be friends with her.  So basically I'm on my own because I don't get on with them and I dislike their ways and the hardest part is I have no one else. It is our last 2 years and friend groups have formed and no one else is really what I'd get along with. Most of the time im a loner (alone) and it hurts me so much inside, and I can't do well in school work.

Is their a dua for a new friend or when someone is hopeless ? I feel I've got no one all the time and recently I have been doing similar things as ‘my friend’ and the alcoholic muslim .. such as trying a bit of smoke astaghfurilla but thats when I left them ..please help me with advice and dua etc it will be great help.

- wooo

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5 Responses »

  1. Salaam,

    May Allah accept your dua's which are actually pure. May Allah give you the guidance and comfort through this sad and lonely time for you.

    First and foremost you have done your duties as a friend, but more importantly as a Muslim to get her to change her ways. May Allah accept this as a very kind deed and use it on the day of your judgement to help you into paradise.

    Secondly I would say keep trying, as everytime you try to help someone from not sinning you are being rewarded by Allah for so many things, for being a good person, for having patience, for withstanding humiliation and for helping a Muslim. So keep trying all the time that you can.

    Thirdly do not feel lonely, having no friends is better than having bad friends. I had a few friends in my school/college days, all of whom I don't speak to now simply because 1. we don't get on or 2. they are not good people. You'll meet many new decent people to become friends with (make sure it is halaal), so don't worry.

    Lastly if you do find making friends a bit difficult, then do other things to occupy your time. Perhaps reading or writing, you can read about your religion, history or many other aspects. You don't have to read, but it is a good way to pass time whilst lonely and you will gain much knowledge.

  2. Asalaamualaykum Dear Sister,

    I agree with everything that Mohammed has said.

    I know you must feel lonely at school without friends, but keep striving dear one. We are all tested in our lives, through family, health, wealth, jobs etc, in your case your friends. Keep striving and strengthening your relationship with Allah. When you have that urge to join in with your friend's wrong doings, remember the following hadith:

    The Prophet (saw) said: “There are seven whom Allaah will shade in His Shade on the Day when there is no shade except His Shade: a just ruler; a youth who grew up in the worship of Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic; a man whose heart is attached to the mosques; two men who love each other for Allaah’s sake, meeting for that and parting upon that; a man who is called by a woman of beauty and position [for illegal intercourse], but be says: ‘I fear Allaah’, a man who gives in charity and hides it, such that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives in charity; and a man who remembered Allaah in private and so his eyes shed tears.”

    Narrated by Abu Hurairah & collected in Saheeh al-Bukhari

    Do not compromise your principles of Islam for bad company. So keep sacrificing, do tawbah, strive to stay on the straight way never to turn back again. Your five daily Salaah, your Duas, your reciting of Quran and your sincerity will make your fortress strong. Stick to these things like glue and inshaAllah a door will open for you soon.

    May Allah protect your young and innocent soul and give you pious and wise companions, Aameen.

    SisterZ Editor

  3. Dear Wooo

    Dont change yourself to fit with other people. Stay who you are and being a good muslim. These people you are hanging around with are bad company and called peer pressure. Being alone isn’t a bad thing either at least you have a clear peace of mind being yourself and learning to develop in your education and not waste time doing or aiming for nothing at the end of it. Mostly you have done your good deeds in being a good friend. If these people don’t want to know you then that’s their lost. You must remember if you do good things then you will get somewhere in life and if you chose to hang around with these kind of bad crowds then I am sorry you will feel sad and not just that these people are not your real friends. You must learn to make good friends at a limit and remember allah sees everything.

    I hope you find the courage to leave this crowd of friends and concentrate on your own studies and achieving good grades.

  4. I understand your concerns all too well, and have come to understand one thing as a result. Allah is our only friend. When we describe a true friend we say thing like "always there, answers my calls, comforting, forgiving, guiding, encouraging, etc." and the fact of the matter is, only Allah meets the criteria. I do understand a friend may make it easier to devote yourself to Allah and that's where I saw the majority of my pain develop, but you and I both need to realize and accept that any tough time in this life is reward in the next... If you are stronger than me and can really focus yourself on the fact that all you need is Allah then you will be of the best in jenaa inshallah. I find going to the masjid fills any void of loneliness, but unfortunately now I live very far from a masjid and do not have any other ideas in such a situation... If you are near a masjid TAKE ADVANTAGE of the blessing. I think another good substitute is to stay active in dawaa... Of course you may gain enemies, but the reaction some will have will draw you closer to Allah, occupy your time, and inshallah gather some new Muslims into shaping your own little family... I may not be the best to give advice as I struggle with the same issues, but just offering the little I know... May Allah give you the best in this life and the next and give you the best of friends in jenaa, rasul Allah salallahu alayhe Wasalam

  5. Yes. The dua is:

    "Allahumma yassir li jaleesan saalihan."

    Oh Allah! Facilitate for me a righteous friend.

    I hope your situation is better now. Any update?

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