Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband calls me names

verbal abuse, psychological abuse

Asalamu alaykum

I have been married for 2 years now. We had our first daughter a year into our marriage. My husband works and provides for my daughter and I. He is a good man to us Alhamdulilah. But whenever we get into mini or major arguments, he calls me names and he also swears at me! I am very sensitive but he doesn't care. It really hurts my feelings because I do not call him names and if I did he would loose it. He sometimes calls me a dumb wife or a stupid mother and it really hurts. He acts as though he doesn't need me or that he tolerates me sometimes. I am extremely sensitive and deal with anxiety. He has said plenty of mean things which I do not even want to type. What should I do? He doesn't apologize or show any empathy towards me when I am upset and quiet or crying. He actually mocks me and then gets mad when I get unresponsive or shut down. I am not saying I do not have any faults, but his approach is very very harsh. He is a few years older then me and in his mind he is right and I am wrong. Other then this he is a great husband and provides us with everything we need and more. I am pregnant again and divorce is not an option. What does Islam say about Emotional Abuse between a husband and wife?


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6 Responses »

  1. I am not a muslim, I pray you're able to move on. I admire u as well the way you have been able to tolerate to this moment. As you said, divorce should never be an option. Good luck

  2. Assalam Alaikum Sister. I amnot sure what men get out of treating us this way. I have been married 23 years. My husband often calls me names. If I ever call him the same name back, he takes a fit. He even says words in Urdu and Punjabi which I do not understa

    • Asalam o alikum sister, I’m so sorry to hear that, I did search on google about angry husband and this came up, anyways sister in Islam Allah does give a man permission to divorce his wife and tell him if you are not happy with me the choice is in ur hand just leave me, I know you post in 2018 is the things still the same or is he changed?

  3. Assalam Alaikum Sister. I amnot sure what men get out of treating us this way. I have been married 23 years. My husband often calls me names. If I ever call him the same name back, he takes a fit. He even says words in Urdu and Punjabi which I do not understa

  4. Assalamualaikum wrwb.

    A woman is definitely also allowed to request a divorce. Allah swt has not made us victims. Islam also protects women's rights, not just those of men.

    Therefore a woman can request a divorce and if the husband will not grant it, then the woman can take this to the Imam to go further.

    @ Zainab, I admire your strength to control yourself when insulted. When I am verbally attacked or degraded I give bs k what is verbally being dished to me. That was how I was brought up around my siblings from a non-Muslim background. I just can't find the control to hold back when I am feeling extremely hurt and humiliated, in spite of converting, in spite of supplications. It feels too inherent to make change.

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