Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband cheats on me!

Husband Remarried

I was 17 when I met him. He was 28. And we got married when I turned 20. Since then we have been married for 10  years. We have two kids.. One is 6 and the other is 2..He takes good care of us. He works hard and has earns well. He is a very good looking man..

But throughout our marriage, he always cheated on me, I always forgave and moved on.. There was always someone.. I forgive him thinking it was the right thing for me and kids..he was handsome and rich, so I knew it would be easy for him to get in trouble.

But two years back when I just had my younger daughter, (she was like 15 days old) I found out he was cheating on me. After several arguments, he agreed, finally. And said he was serious ant this other woman and wants to marry as a second wife. It hurt me so bad since that was the time when I needed him most. I begged him to end it or I'll leave.. But he said he will never divorce me or end it.

He said he loved me more than anything but still wanted to marry her.. After days of struggle I finally agreed.. Cos he said he won't marry her unless I agree but will continue the affair. So I said yes and I gave my happiness for his happiness..

It was a hell. The other wife started telling him to divorce me. She wanted him for herself.. This kept going for like 6 months and finally he couldn't take it. He also found out she was taking to her ex boyfriends..

So he divorced her and told me how foolish he was to marry her when everyone told him she was bad. He promised me he will never hurt me again, and he will never marry another one..

And it's been a year since he divorced her. I've been trying to forget what happened and move on like always and just when I thought everything will be ok now.

A week back I found out he is cheating again..:( this time with a non Muslim American teenager(just turned 20) she is twenty one years younger than him. He wants to marry her. Broke my heart again..and it's like dejavu.. He keeps saying the same things.. And begging me to accept. So like the fool I am, I said this is the last .. And now they are planning to get married next year mid.. He is happy and the girl wants to move here( this is a 100%muslim country)

I hate him for lying and cheating and breaking my trust over and over again.. And I want to get a divorce coz I'm not happy. I feel like a door mat, a puppet.. Please tell me what I'm suppose to do?


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5 Responses »

  1. My sister you are allowed to divorce him without his permission its called kulla.Anyways he never love you . words are meaningless.Men of true faith are kind and best to there wives.This guy regardless of rich and looks he will have to face Allah.A women has the same rights as man and must be treated fair!

  2. Salam alaikum,

    I know that this is all your own choice, but I say Divorce him! He is not learning from his mistakes and will keep repeating this cycle until he is old and dying, and then he will have an affair with his hospital nurse! I agree with brother Raul in the comment above; women and men have same rights when it comes to divorce. Just make sure to find a stable place to live and a source of income, and you should be fine inshAllah.

    I make dua for you sister,

  3. i totally agree with above two responses.

  4. You should talk to ur friends and family regarding this. He is being unfair and he has learn, no matter how much mistake he makes you will forgive him. He is proud of richness and good look. There is help you can get, but i think you are in Middle Eastern country, if u were in Canada I could have give you sources where you can Islamic help. Women and Men must be treated equally. And you deserve love not money and treated like doormat. If u r in Canada then let me know; I can help you. Allahhafiz

  5. He is using you as a plan B. someone he can always fall back on after he has his fun with other women. Please get yourself out of this marriage asap. Serial cheaters seldom change. Learn to value yourself. Kick him out of your life and do it with confidence. No crying and no begging. Wishing you loads of strength. Put your trust in Allah and muster the courage to end this atrocity.

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