Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband gambles

Islam and gambling

Salam,

I have been in a relationship with a Muslim man for 6 years and we are married by an Imam but not by law. We are currently located in US and we have a preschool age son. My husband has gambled off and on for awhile and both he and I know it is haram. I am a recent revert so I am new to the religion but I do know gambling is a no no and I have stopped ever since I have taken the shahada. My husband on the other other has been frequently going at least 2 times a week since new years and can spend a given 12 hours at the casino.

When he doesn't answer his phone I can speculate he is there, and there have been times where I think he has gone but he denies it. When I approach him he says he knows himself and knows he does not have a problem and he will stop when he has his fill. He laughs at me thinking I am crazy for thinking he has a problem.

I am really concerned to the point where I am sick to my stomach. I really do not know what to do. I have thought about asking him to move out of the house but not sure if this the best way to handle because I do love and care for him and we do have a son, because what if he is right he will stop? I am at a loss. He says he has so many bills he needs to get the money, and the last time I received money from him to help with the bills has been about 6 months. I have been patient because I do know he has bills, but my patience is running thin especially if he is gambling like this.

Any advice is appreciated!

Thanks!

Salams,

Kiki

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9 Responses »

  1. Salaam sister, gambling is fun and exciting and you never want to give up, to combat this you must find something just as fun and exciting to takes its place, and so when he decides to leave and gamble provide him a alternative he cant refuse, keep praying to Allah and insha'Allah over time he will drop his habit and enjoy your company more instead.
    Asking him to leave would be too drastic, he may be a gambler but he loves his child and that would make him gamble more in a state of mild depression.

    • hi i just wanted to say that my father has the same exact issue he would gamble for hours and hours at a time and gamble away as much as 20 thousand at times... we own busineses and he gambles everything we own... so the best thing we did was WE MOVED to another state... the only way is to either ban him from the casino....for example you call the casino he is going to and tell them you want an application for a BAN from the casino for your husband because he is gambling all of your money away. he has to be thier to sign it... since we done this until now ... we have been so good at home alhamdulla 🙂 best idea ever.. you should either ban him from the casino honey, or just move to a different area that doesnt have one... we relocated..but it saved us from his haram lifestyle and he is much happier now too .hope this helps honey..

  2. Salaams Sister

    I can imagine how you must be feeling. I have a friend whose in the same situation as you. You have to understand that gambling is addictive. It may take months before he decides to quit. He wants to get back all the money which he has lost. The only way which he can quit is if he accepts he has a problem and is willing to go for counselling. Offer to go with him. Maybe you could ask him details of all the bills he is owing. Your'll should sit together and structure a plan as to how your'll going to handle this on one condition that he is willing to quit his gambling. It mat not be easy but show your support to him. Explain to him that gambling at a casino is only going to make him lose more money and it's shaytaans way of enticing people to get more money. Encourage him to read islamic books, to pray salaah. Remember a person who is not close to Allah would easily go astray so you should try and bring him back on the right path. Give him a time frame but if he is still not listening then you should decide for yourself if this man is worth keeping. He may be a good father but the example which he would set for his son would not be good!

    Rumaysa

  3. Assalam O Alaikum sister,
    Sorry to hear about the sufferings you are going through in the hands of your husband. It is a test of your faith in Allah (swt) sister but also to see what strategy you adopt to deal with this situation. I don't know how you married him when you knew that he doesn't have a steady job but I guess as many sisters before marriage believe that everything will change but it doesn't rather it gets worst.
    Sister, first and foremost as you already know gambling is not allowed in Islam and more so your husband needs to find a steady job to pay rent, bill or other expenses. It's not like a hit or miss thing that one day you win a jackpot and next nothing at all. Your husband need to realize that he is not single anymore but a father and husband; someone who is supposed to follow Islam to the best he can, provide an Islamic environment for his wife and children to grow in their faith and become good Muslims.
    I would request you to sit him down, speak to him and tell him that he has to stop and find a steady job; also you need to assure him that whatever it takes you are their to help him but he needs to stop all this. If he doesn't then, involve family members from both sides if your parents also support you iA. Tell him that, he needs to start toward looking for work which is the first step to give up this habit. If this doesn't work then I am afraid you have no choice but to give him some time to change. If he still doesn't care and carry on doing what he does then it's in your and your child's best interest to separate from him because whatever he earns from gambling is haram and you do understand I hope that what effect it will have on your child.

    May Allah (swt) help you out and help your husband realize this before it's too late. (Amin)

    Muhammad1982,
    Editor, IslamicAnswers.com

    • Dear Brother,
      I just wanted to thank you and may Allah (swt) bless you. What you said really struck me. My husband is a gambler too and I didn't know what to do but you said and I quote

      'It is a test of your faith in Allah (swt) sister but also to see what strategy you adopt to deal with this situation'

      this really made me think and now e and my husband read isha salaat together when we both come home from work. I know its not enough and it should be 5 times but its a start its a step in the right direction and I pray to Allah (swt) that we have both taken this step that hopefully Allah (swt) will help us and guide us.

      I just wanted to say thank you and just wanted you to know.

      Jazak-Allah-heir

      Nadia

  4. As salamu alaykum, Sister,

    You mention you are married by an Imam, this is a legal marriage, go and talk to your Iman but you must have a legal marriage certificate, go to your town council to check it or where it is appropiate in your town. You should be certain about this, because in some countries if you have any properties or a salary, his debts can be paid by law with your properties or your salary.

    After solving your legal situation, if you are married or not, and knowing which kind of legal responsibilities you have if he has debts, the next step as our brothers and sisters said is to make him clear the order of priorities. No debts, no gambling, no haram, no risking family security and taking care of the family as a straight muslim man, if he doesn´t listen to you, you will have to think about the best for your son and yourself if he doesn´t.

    You can always begin from cero if he wants to recover from that problem, but he has to have the will to do it and be able to look for help if need it, better today than tomorrow. If he is not in control, his addiction should be treated by proffesionals. Tell him to tell you the truth about the depth of the financial problems he has, you and your son are surviving by yourselves, then knowing this you can look for solutions together, if he doesn´t cooperate you should know what to do.

    Always work with real information, talk to him and talk to prepared people that can help you both to solve this situation, insha´Allah.

    Remember to look for Allah´s guidance through istikhara if you are going to make an important decision in your life.

    You must know this already, but it is a good reminder for your husband.

    http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/punishment-gambling/

    May Allah(swt) guide us all to and in the straight Path every step we take. Ameen.

    Wasalam,
    María
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  5. Bismillah

    Al-jawab billahi at-taufeeq (the answer with Allah's guidance)

    1) To gamble is forbidden in Islam and a major sin. (Al Kabair Pg. 96)

    Allah Ta'ala says,

    "They ask you (O Muhammad ) concerning alcoholic drink and gambling. Say: "In them is a great sin, and (some) benefit for men, but the sin of them is greater than their benefit." And they ask you what they ought to spend. Say: "That which is beyond your needs." Thus Allah makes clear to you His Laws in order that you may give thought." (2:19)

    "O you who believe! Intoxicants (all kinds of alcoholic drinks), gambling, Al�Ansab , and Al�Azlam (arrows for seeking luck or decision) are an abomination of Shaitan's (Satan) handiwork. So avoid (strictly all) that (abomination) in order that you may be successful." (5:90)

    "Shaitan (Satan) wants only to excite enmity and hatred between you with intoxicants (alcoholic drinks) and gambling, and hinder you from the remembrance of Allah and from As-Salat (the prayer). So, will you not then abstain?" (5:91)

    Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, "Some people spend Allah's wealth (i.e. Muslim's Wealth) in an unjust manner, such people will be put in the (Hell) fire on the day of resurrection.� (Bukhari, Ahmad)

    He (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) also said, "The one who invites his companions: Come let us gamble�, should (expiate his sin) by giving in charity.� (Bukhari)

    Please view this: http://www.inter-islam.org/Prohibitions/prohibitdex.htm

    2) There are no specific Du`as to stop someone from gambling.

    3) The Haraam money should be given to the poor without the intention of reward.

    And Only Allah Ta'ala knows best.

  6. I have been a victim of gambling. The issue is that once your losses mount to huge amounts it's very difficult to draw a line and walk away from gambling for ever. The remorse of doing something that stupid remains in the heart. I refrained for a few years from the casinos but it always hits back. I am talking life changing amounts won and lost in the casino. I pray regularly and pray to Allah for forgiveness and for recovery of my loss. All said and done it's an agony and there is no relief. Perhaps this is the reason why it's so hard even after knowing that it's a sin, people just go there to recover their own loses. If there is a prayer to help a person over come the despair of stupid action of gambling then please do share.

    • Brother i have the same problem. I guess the only solution is just remember that there is death witch can came to us any time any moment followed by he'll fire . Remember this all the time and ask Allah for forgiveness and to stop as soon us possible that bad habit before the time. O Allah help all Muslims

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