Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband has forbidden me from talking to my parents

Book by nancy cobb & connie grisby


I am a female members muslim got married 7 months ago.

My husband hates my parents and doesn't let me talk to any of them ever .. Reasons are not at all fair... Still I obeyed him and stopped talking to my parents, yet I see him ignoring me and being very affectionate with his parents and all other siblings, which hurts me too much! I need help with Islamic suggestions you have.. How can I resolve how can I handle... Only SERIOUS answers please!

jazak allah


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18 Responses »

  1. Asalaam Walaikum.

    May Allah ease your situation ... Ameen.

    Unless your Husband has a legitimate reason for stopping you then its understandable HOWEVER even then not speaking to them is nor permissable in Islam.

    You are allowed to not listen to your Husband when he commands you to go against the commands of Allah and this sounds like it is exactly that. You must at all times respect and love your parents even IF they are nasty people but since you dont mension anything I reckon they are normal caring parents.

    Speak to an Imam or someone more knowledgable than me can advise your better on here.

    • Actually in this situation, if you do obey your husband's rules your parents do get rewarded. There was a story where a woman lived in the same building as her father. She lived on the 5th floor while he lived on the 1st floor. Her husband has left for a trip out the country and he has told her to not leave their room for any reason. One day her father gets sick and she wanted to visit him, since she is so near. She calls her husband and no answer and couldn't get a hold of him. She didn't leave and kept trying to contact her husband and eventually her father died. And I think her father got rewarded for raising a daughter who I guess listened to her husband and stayed in her room. I heard it somewhere you have to search it up.

      I would honestly try to make things better between your family and your husband by any way possible. I wouldn't be able to stay a day without talking to them. I would see the root problem and try to work from there without starting problems.

      Also to the ADMIN of this site I think it's rude for nit-picking on this site for whatever question you desire to post. There are people who really are looking for advice. That's the whole point of this site.

      • I don't know what you are talking about. What nit-picking are you referring to?

        Wael Editor

      • What is this "nit-picking" thing you keep talking about? Are you going to add this remark after every one of your comments?

        Wael Editor

        • No actually this was the only time I mentioned it. I was talking about questions that are being asked on this site that remain pending yet some get posted. I have posted my question before some of the ones that have been posted and replied and mine remains pending. So I guess you just choose the ones (mostly woman questions) and reply to them and post them on this site for people to respond, but some just remain pending. I even saw a remark that Brother Jaaz wrote on a comment on a different question referring to me and describing me as having an ugly character so that is why it must not have been posted. It's best that we don't judge, not everyone was raised and grew up in the same islamic environment. If something might seem obvious as an answer to someone else it might not and that is why the question is being asked. Thats what I was referring to. Sorry for the miscommunication/confusion.

          • Asalaam Walaikum Brother. Let me just clarify ...

            My comment was reffering to the Question posted by "I married the wrong woman" by Broken123 few days ago.

            Secondly if you read what I wrote again I was just repeating what the questioner (Broken123) had written about his wife.

            Thirdly, IF for arguement sake you think I was reffering to you then obviously your questions are being posted on here?

            Anyways normally when a person asks a question on here its because of difficulty ... May Allah ease whatever difficulties you are having my brother ... Sincerely I pray that Allah blesses you with goodness .. Ameen.

          • As-salamu alaykum muslim615. You are mistaken. We do not pick and choose, and we do not make judgments based on the character or personality of the questioner. We publish every question, whether from a woman or man, in the order it is received. The only exceptions are emergency situations such as suicide, sexual abuse or abortion. We move those to the front. You might not realize that we do have a wait time of more than a month.

            What is the title of your post? I don't see any post pending under this username of muslim615.


          • Wa aleekum alsalaam. Thank you brother Jaaz for clarifying, I just thought that maybe you were one of the admins and got to read my question that was not posted.

        • lol Br waels comments and advice are always awesome

  2. OP: My husband hates my parents and doesn't let me talk to any of them ever .. Reasons are not at all fair..

    When was the first time your husband told you not to talk to your parents? What reasons he gave you for doing that. I think your husband is very controlling, insecure person. Is he concerned you will share his insecurities with your parents.

  3. Wa Aleekum Asalaam!

    Title: I need guidance in my marriage & any islamic advice


    It may seem as if its not as urgent topic but I just want some advice. I want to take away the thought of divorce that shaytan keeps planting in my head. I don't know how to approach my spouse or what to do in my case. I am in the middle of all these medical school exams and thats all I can think about. I don't trust anyone I know with my information so thats why I route my concern to this site with these intellectual people, who may have went through the same situation.

    • Assalaamualaikam

      I've searched the pending posts, and according to the records, your post was first created 2 days ago. While we appreciate that you are in a difficult situation, we are very grateful for your patience and understanding.

      We publish all posts which are submitted as Pending, so your post will be published and answered in turn, inshaAllah.

      In the meantime, you may find it helpful to search our archives for questions about similar issues, as we have given advice to others in similar situations to yours. You're also very welcome to contribute to the site by giving advice and commenting on posts.

      Midnightmoon editor

      • Does it really take it that long to publish? I mean you just read it to verify that its not spam and then publish for whoever wants to leave an input. I am not trying to step over anyone's boundaries but I just don't see why it should take month to post. Anyways its your rules and you guys do as you please but if you wanted to do Ajer for people you wouldn't make the process of posting a question so difficult because for some people the advice might be too late and they've made a terrible decision. Jazakum Allah khayr for this website! Masalamah! Everyone's case maybe be similar but not the same. Everyone is different in their own way.

        • Cool it bro, just ask your local imam if you need urgent, personalized help.


          • Obviously I have "cooled it down". I like to remain anonymous and that is why I don't goto local imam. I don't want anyone who knows me to know my problems. People do get emotional at personal problems and sometimes over react which I have done and that was the end of it.

      • Assalaamualaikam

        There's a lot more to our job than just checking something isn't spam. Each post needs links, cross-references, making sure things are anonymised effectively, tags, and some need translated.

        The editors also have full-time jobs and we work on this site for free, in our own time. Running this site and ensuring that Islamic standards are maintained as much as possible takes a lot more work than you might think.

        In order to ensure everyone's post gets the same opportunity to be read and discussed and answered, we publish around 4 or sometimes 5 questions per day. Publishing more than that in one go increases the risk of someone's question being missed and going unanswered, which we wouldn't want to happen.

        Submitting a post isn't really a difficult process. We have a link to a guide to the process at the top of the page, and if people read that and follow the guidelines, it's fairly straightforward, inshaAllah.

        Your post will be published in turn, inshaAllah. I'm sorry if that isn't good enough for you, but you'll need to wait. In the meantime, why not read some of the advice given to other people in similar situations, as some of it might be relevant to you, and you could give advice to other people.

        Midnightmoon editor

  4. What are the reasons? Is your husband paranoid about something?

  5. Talk to your parents and do see them. It's your right. It's not good to cut bonds with your parents.

    It seems like your husband is very very controlling, and he is the one you need to cautious off. Talk to an Imaam about your rights and bring that as evidence, and if he still has issues, then please consider letting your husband know that they are your parents and he can't decide these things on your behalf.

    Don't let him control you sister. There are some rights that a husband has, but talking to your parents and siblings and keeping touch with your family is not one of them.

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