Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband has had a dream about my sister

Salaam walaikum,

I thought I was being overly suspicious of my husband. He just seemed fond of my little sister and I had forced the feelings aside thinking I was being stupid.

Recently my husband told me he had a dream about my sister sitting on top of him. I don't know why he would tell me and I don't know what to think? I have been married for four years now.

I tried to talk to him and ask him what he wants me to think and that I feel uncomfortable after he told me about the dream. He tells me it was nothing sexual, but when a man dreams of a girl sitting on top of him ("on his stomach" he says) what does it mean?

I don't know what to do or what to think. I have always been the one to forgive and the first to let of my anger in my marriage. Please help me? This is ruining my relationship with him, I don't think I can see him the way i used to after he said that.

what should i do ? I know there hasnt been anything between them, but even if nothing has happened he still thought about that.



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20 Responses »

  1. Well if he has a younger brother, you can tell him the same dreamt his brother sitting on your stomach nothing sexual.

    Age is an important factor. How old is your sister. If she is 16 or more...........he is just checking if he you will mind his closeness with your sister. How often your husband meets her? Does he talk to her on the phone or using social networking? Why are you suspicious of your husbands behavior? What have you observed?

    • Age is an important factor in what, exactly? Is her age related to the dream??

      • Precious Star: Age is an important factor in what, exactly? Is her age related to the dream??

        OP is already overly suspicious of her husband showing interest in her little sister.......Age is an impotant factor means a man dreaming about a 5 yr old and a 17 year old girl can mean two very different things.

        Men do have "wet dreams", I don't know about women dreams.

        Have a nice evening.

    • I understand what you mean by age. He is 27, I am 22 and she is 17.
      He has always said things about other girls (in general not just dreams) and I always laughed and played it off even though it would make me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes when I am in a bad mood I would get angry. He has had other sexual dreams about random girls that he has told me and I brushed those off, I just couldn't let this one go.
      I have been married for five years and I have always had problems in my relationship, so when he said this it doesn't help our relationship.

      • Dear Sister,
        Assalam alaikum,

        It is wrong for your husband to share his sexual dreams with random girls and your sister with you. It is deeply inconsiderate, unneeded and disgusting.

        I don't know how normal that is or if your husband is exaggerating the frequency of these dreams for other reasons, but it sounds strange. I wonder if it gives him some kind of satisfaction to talk about it or if he wants to see your reaction. Maybe some brothers can comment on some suggestions for you.

        I personally would ask him to stop telling you about this information. Are the both of you experiencing other problems in the marriage?

  2. Dreams are not predictive or indicative of anything. Maybe your husband had a belly ache that day and that's why he had a dream of a family member sitting on his stomache.

  3. your husband is a vulgar person who cant respect your sister. if he saw that dream he should not have told you you, he must have ignored this, only a dream! that means he is seriously taken it, something wrong in his mind, tell him directly what you feel and dont let him meet your sister , she is your sister he has no right to meet her but to say hello hi and thats it.

    • Salaams,

      Sister, I've noticed in some of your posts you tend to say some harsh and mean things. Please mind the tone of your responses. I have deleted one of yours on another thread because you called the OP " stupid". We do not abide name calling or belittling remarks. If it continues, you will be placed on mod status.

      -Amy Editor

  4. Reading problems like this makes me realize beauty of our religion regarding hijab between non mehrams.
    I'm not sure from your post why your husband is fond of your sister. I'm guessing it's either beauty or youthfulness or some gesture of hers that has clicked him.

    It is fitna.
    2 things that can control it so nothing happens practically in future is to either completely 100% eliminate his exposure to her or she gets married and move away. Both are probably not practicable right away,

    Instate islamic hijab between them.

    Why he shared this dream with you? It is very possible he is fighting these thoughts of fondness and himself disturbed by them and doesn't know how to handle them.

    Every thing we are talking is on assumption . Dialogue and share your distress with him calmly to put this behind you.
    How is his demeanor towards ladies in general ??

    • Gracias: It is very possible he is fighting these thoughts of fondness and himself disturbed by them and doesn't know how to handle them.

      OP's is overly suspicious of her husband being fond of her little sister. If what you say is true, why did this guy started looking at his wife'ss sister like that in the first place.

      • His infatuation for SIL might not be deliberate but continuous exposure to some one who enchant you leads to progressive feelings .
        It is possible he thinks it is wrong but weak so couldn't help it.

        As you questioned regarding age, yes if SIL is prepubertal then it is no big deal and feelings could be fatherly however OP pre existing concerns of suspicion indicates her sister is adult .

        He might be honest person but displaying his fondness openly for SIL to uncomfortable level and then sharing disturbing dream with wife indicates lack of empathy for wife. Dreams usually are indicative of desires or fears.

  5. Dont over react. You husband told you about the dream which shows his trust and honesty. He is not trying to hide anything from you. Be grateful that you have a spouse who finds it comfortable to discuss anything with you. Most likely he just sees her as a little sister.If he hasnt done anything wrong then stop being suspicious. If there was any wrong intention in his mind he would have never told you about his dream.If you lr sister is old enough maybe advice her to dress modestlt and islamically in front of your husband. Stop complaining about small things before Allah swt gives you really something to complain about. Sorry if this sounds harsh but i am hoping you get my point let this go and live happily .

    • awaitingdeath: What do you think will happen to a Muslim woman who honestly tells her husband that she saw his brother sitting on her stomach in her dream?

  6. asalam alikum wr wb
    From my point of view it's the shiytans tricks to get ya seperated it's a very common goal for the devil to do that its his regular job especially lately my family have been going through alot of divorces and u know if u forgive Allah will forgive u. It's not nice what he said or saw in his dreams no girl would like it especially the man ur married to, but dont let the waswas get to u. the whispers of the devil.He's making u feel ungrateful. i have had the same occassion but just different words but Allah will help ya ur a tough girl just pray that Allah keeps them both safe from commiting evil. i feel uncomfortable when my husband and my sisters are in the same room cuz he's said some stuff that he shudn't have sed but all u can do is trust Allah to protect ur family. Get ur husband to do good for this world and the life here after. thats gunna beniefit u. NO sexual desires will get u to paradise and dirty thought. (except for a married couple).just have patience and u'll get the results just keep praying,but never say ur prays are not answered if they aint answered in this world they will be in the life hereafter. Dont let the shiytan beat u on this.inshAllah azwajal. remember shiytan attacks a married couple more.just be greatful.
    salam alikum wr wb

    • Destiny: i feel uncomfortable when my husband and my sisters are in the same room cuz he’s said some stuff that he shudn’t have sed but all u can do is trust Allah to protect ur family.

      How did you respond when your husband said some thing he shuldn't have said presumably about your sisters?

      • Salams,
        I lived with my husband who was a sexual addict. This is complicated and starts at a young age when children who do not get looked after resort to this. It started from porn mags. then serious porn on the net.

        This behavior led him to lust my sister (she had zero interest in this). I always suspected as he behaved differently with her and always looked. I later found out she was his fantasy (closest) to what he was seeing on his phones. Mind you my sister was 16, young but did not initiate anything.

        Later on he resorted to prostitutes as his addiction got deeper and deeper. He stopped believing in Allah.

        It’s funny as women we have a 6th sense or many red flags that we tend to ignore. We tend to be scared of family and what our husbands will say. My husband would hide behind anger when I asked something and made me feel guilty.

        This lasted 14 years.

        You are NOT over reacting sister.

        I wish you all the best.

        • Yasmine B: It’s funny as women we have a 6th sense or many red flags that we tend to ignore. We tend to be scared of family and what our husbands will say. My husband would hide behind anger when I asked something and made me feel guilty.

          Did your husband have a normal sex life with you or he avoided you hiding behind his anger? How did you know he was going to prostitutes?

  7. Al-salaam Alaikum wa rahmotulla wa barakatu sister

    Im not sure about the Islam dream Interpretations but they are quite accurate online.

    Also in My past when I dream of a particular person in a dream it's Usually not pertaining to them but a close relative of similarty (ie you could be the focus of uour husbands dream).

    I would try to break the dream down into parts for example
    Material Things (maybe 3) - bed, the room, colous
    Who was present - your husband and female
    Atmosphere - warmth, cold, happy, sad, stressed, Surprised...what was going through his mind.
    You get the idea

    Then think about it
    He was on his back
    He was vulnerable
    Stomach is about nourishment, Gut Feelings etc
    Something/one was on top of him (pressure gut feeling oppressed comfortable etc etc

    You see dwar, Any husband with Half a brain would Never tell his wife that he'd had a sexy dream about his wife's younger sister. He Obviously is genuinely curious about Another meaning...

    Perhaps she represents, Freedom, Youth, Forbidden Solidarity with Family etc Doesn't mean he has repressed feelings towards her.

    Maybe he feels psychologically threatened by you or that he's lost some of the freedoms of youth (the sitting on his stomach) but he is secure in that and it's showing he's growing as a man, husband and lover of his wife...

    I hope this helps and I can't see a date you posted perhaps it was years ago
    All the best ISA

  8. Salaam walaikum,
    Sisters my name is K, and my husband and I have come a very long way. We have been together for eight years and married with three beautiful children. He is my all my everything and he has confided in me at least twice about have explicit dreams, sisters I mean very explicit dreams of my own twin sister. Until I read yalls post I decided to let Allah protect my marriage and guide my husbands thoughts. I do not see my sister much. Yesterday she came over for a visit and this morning my husband wakes up and he has had yet another dream but swears it was about me this time. He never ever has these dreams but when she came he ended up having one. Each dream makes him ejaculate while he is asleep. He tells me I am over reacting that it's foolish of me to even think he would but,its hard to think otherwise when he tells me about it and also it has happened more than once. I love them both truly but I will not be disrespected in this manner or any other way in a sexual form that has nothing to do with me. The thought that harms me the most is that if a dream can get him to react this way, would temptation actually get him to commit adultry?? Please sisters advice is needed and I would truly appreciate it

    • A man has no control over the content of his dreams, nor is he responsible for them. His mistake was telling you about it. He should have kept it to himself. There is a world of difference between a dream, and committing a sin. One has nothing to do with the other. It's ridiculous to consider a dream to be "disprespect" of you or your marriage. Does a man now have to prove what he dreamed about?

      Also, I edited your post to remove your full name. There is no need to share that information.

      Wael Editor

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