Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband hates me for becoming a Muslim

Muslim convert woman in Hijab

Assalamu Alaykum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuhu. I am in desperate need of advice. Almost 5 years ago I was a Christian when I married a Muslim man. From the beginning he displayed bad behavior towards me which made me curious about his religious beliefs. I began researching about Islam and discovered that his behavior was opposite of what Islam teaches. I fell in love with islam and knew I wanted to be a Muslim. When I told him, he got very angry and said he did not want a Muslim wife and soon after I said the shahada he started cheating on me and eventually he left the home and said he wanted a divorce. I was so confused because I finally felt complete in my life after being guided to Islam, and my Muslim husband hated me for it. After a few months he said he made a mistake and he came back home and promised to help me learn to pray and learn Islam, but he did not fulfill this promise because now if I even mention anything about Islam he gets very angry at me and starts screaming at me. During Ramadan I asked him to help me learn ayatul kursi and help me to learn how to pray taraweeh but he got so angry and he tried to kick me out of the house. I used to be so passionate and so in love with Islam but now I feel becoming Muslim has ruined my marriage and I feel that I want to leave the religion because my husband is the only Muslim that I know and he hates me for becoming Muslim. I’m so lost and heart broken. Please, I need help.

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7 Responses »

  1. Assalam o alaikum. Many many congrats for accepting Islam. You are the one of most blessed people in the world and then millions of other Muslims. And your husband is unlucky person of the world who’s kicking out the blessing of the Allah out of his home. May Allah bless you and keep you on straight path, you are a courageous women alhamdulillah. Don’t lose hope and patience. Allah is always with them who are patient. I don’t know what kind of human being is your husband and what making him mad or abusive instead of being happy and blessed that he got a wife like you.
    Sister if you are not happy with him and he’s not happy with you being a Muslim them Islam gives you other options aswel.
    May Allah bless you
    Assalam o alaikum

  2. You need to dump this moron as soon as you can.

    Anyone who takes you away from Islam invites you to hellfire. He is not a worthy husband. Get rid of him immediately and find someone else.

  3. Sister if you thinking that you should be a Christian then it's your fault because Allah swt blessed you with Islam!!
    Coming to the question your husband is hypocrite.

    In world there were 2 types of people

    1st Muslim(momin)

    2nd non Muslim (kafir)

    At the time of Prophet Muhammad saw Allah swt introduced one more and that's Munafiq(hypocrite)

    Because if we say him kafir (disbeliever) then he's name is Abdullah, Muhammad .... Initially they harm Islam but they don't pretend so if we
    call him a Muslim he's harming Islam indirectly as well as he's praying, fasting ...
    So Allah swt introduce Munafiq (hypocrite) He make people think that he's a Muslim but he's not.

    Immidiately divorce him, sure hell is his refuge.

    Allah swt blessed you with the best thing(Islam) and Inshallah he will replace a better husband.

    May Allah swt keep you steadfast upon deen.
    And Allah swt knows best.

  4. It sounds like your husband has mental and anger issues. Either he married to use you or feels very guilty for not practicing Islam in which you keep reminding him.

  5. I'm not sure why you are confused about your situation, because I don't find it confusing at all. You mention that your husband treated you like garbage prior to getting married, so you should naturally expect being treated like garbage after marriage, too. If you wanted a good husband that treats you with respect, you should have married a good man that showed you respect before he proposed marriage to you.

    Same with your confusion about why your husband isn't supporting your Islamic ways. You are expecting Islamic support from a man that does the opposite of what Islam preaches, and that has been clear with you that he resents Muslim women. Are you actually serious that you expect more from him than what he's giving you?! You knew, before marrying him, that he does the opposite of what Islam preaches, and he told you before marrying you that he doesn't want a Muslim wife...why did you marry him when you knew all of this about him? The way I see it, you entirely have yourself to blame for the situation you are in. Your husband was upfront about who he is and what he doesn't want, you went ahead and married him anyway even though he's not decent husband material. Why, I don't know. That's the only confusing part of all of this: Why you married him.

    It indeed sounds to me like you need to make a choice between your husband and your religion. You need to ask yourself if you became a Muslim for your husband or for yourself and Allah. Why does your status of being a Muslim depend on your husband and your marriage? That tells me you never became a Muslim for the right reasons - because if you had become Muslim for the right reasons, no man would make you question if you should remain a Muslim or give Islam up. I honestly don't think you love Islam or Allah, I think you love the idea of the family life you could have if you and your husband actually followed Islam.There is a difference.

    Please take some time away from your husband and make up your mind if you are in fact Muslim, or if you're not. If you decide that you are Muslim, then you need to tell your husband that you can only remain married to him if he can accept that you want to follow Islam. If he can't accept that, then...I'm sorry, but a divorce is the only option for you.

  6. Salaam sister how are you congrats for accepting Islam your husband is taking you away from Islam he is not worthy husband leave him they are really nice people out there don’t lose hope that you only now him no body else.sister don’t stay in relationship which has no happiness and no respect
    Leave him and join classes how to learn more about Islam don’t stay in this relationship where they is no love
    Before it gets too late you have child then you decide to leave him it be it’s going to be very hard. For you specially with. Child it gets harder to leave
    He is not worthy husband who is Muslim himself and argue with you all the time about Islam things have confidence
    Get rid of him
    Don’t ruin your life
    I’m social worker myself
    May Allah Pak gives your strength and you make your decision

  7. Assalaamualaykum sister AprilMarie,

    Your husband is not Muslim. One is not Muslim just by name. One is Muslim in the way one acts, the way one carries oneself, one's character. If he was Muslim, he would be happy to teach you Islam.

    Because you are Muslim now and married to a non-muslim, you must get a divorce. A Muslim girl can only marry a Muslim. Find a good Muslim brother through your local mosque, acquaintances or on Muslim matrimonial sites.

    Inshallah you will be guided to the love of your life, ameen.

    Hugs,

    Nor

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