Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband hit me and my mother-in-law threw me out of the house

Self respect

I'm passing through a very tough time. I love my husband very much but he doesn't care for me. He hit me and he abused me in front of his mother and sisters, and he beat me in front of a female relative.

His mother insulted and abused me and my father in the absence of my husband. And she told me to get out of the house along with my father... because I have no place in that house... it doesn't belong to me.

So I left that house. Now it has been over a couple of months... He has not even bothered to make a phone call to ask why I left. I tried to contact him but he did not reply.

Everyone asks me to get rid of him... but I really love him... what shall I do?

oriana

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11 Responses »

  1. Dear sister,

    Get rid of him. You deserve better. Allah gave him a wife to take care of and be responsible of and he neglected. Do not oppose Allahs plans and move on perhaps what's coming is better inshallah.

    Rami

  2. Assalam alaikum Sister,

    I think that you need to give yourself permission to love your husband while understanding that he is not who you want him to be. Maybe your can't control your feelings for him, but you have to realize that we don't always get what we love in this world. It is a painful feeling and in your case, it is damaging and dangerous.

    The issue with your MIL would be non-existent if your relationship with your husband was healthy.

    If you are unable to move on, maybe you can see a counsellor to help you with dealing with your feelings.

    The only way for you to have a marriage to survive would be if there is willingness on your husband's part to continue the relationship & if and only if he would consider seeking serious help for his abusive nature. Keep in mind that he would have to do this on his own, you wouldn't be able to force him to do so.

    At some point this becomes more about accepting the ugly reality and less about changing something that isn't in your control.

    May Allah ease your difficulties, Ameen.

  3. Mashallah...what a beautiful and thoughtful response.

  4. Dear sister ,

    Physical attack is not acceptable .Be clear to him that this won't be tolerated further .
    Why you love him when he is such a bad person to you ? You need to answer this question by yourself and observe if his behaviour towards you is changed or no .
    If he is still abusive then forget him forever .

    Allah hafiz

  5. U still haven't replied to my question which I posted on 2 November. Please will u reply. Thank you

    • The waiting period for your question to be published is between 1 and 2 months.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • this is not right because some people want urgent answers, i have read many questions which say that they are getting divorced and have time until tomorrow. so it means they didn't get any help and since after 1-2 months their queries were published, all answers and responses were useless to them?

        • Hammad, if you would like to contact me privately and make a large monthly donation, I could hire a full-time staff member. Then maybe we could answer questions right away. As it is, we editors are all volunteers with jobs and families. We receive new questions every day - sometimes several in one day - and it takes time to prep them for publication and answer them.

          I make no apologies for the work we do. We have answered almost 6,000 questions over the last 15 years. Rather than criticize us, you should thank us. But I have observed that criticism is your modus operandi.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • maybe you can moderate after it is published?, the job will become a lot easier?

            just suggesting?

            and kudos to the volunteers running this beautiful board 🙂 subhanallah

  6. Assalam o alaikum sister--really distressed after listening ur case--something similar happened to me as well . my ex hubby kicked me out of his house-and sent me the papers after that instantly- i loved him too-but i was helpless--i would advice u not to be taken as granted. give importance to ur self esteem--do istekhara either to stay with him or to take khula--watever the result is--follow it--if ur hubby kicked u out of his home once, he will do that again and again. ur sef esteem is imprtant sister--Allah shall punish all the evil in this world and the hereafter..

  7. you love him for what? hitting you and dishonoring you? your love maybe because of your first experience being with a man but he doesn't love you and doesn't respect you like his wife, you are not his slave who can be disrespected insulted and kicked out and then taken back?

    since you were kicked out of the house and they say its not your house, you need to find some house which is your own and you feel home, not your current husband so leave him.

    he is such a moron to have a loving wife which he treats badly!

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