Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My secret husband is a drug addict

love drugs addiction

Who does he love more - me? or the drugs?

I am 24 and married to husband younger than me hes 21. I married him without the consent of my parents. But now they have started liking him and planning to get us married publicly.

Before our affair he had habit of flirting in chatrooms with girls. also he was consuming alcohol since his age of 16. He quit both of them when we got in relationship and promised never to do it again. Its been 8 months and I am observing signs everyday that he's lying and hiding stuff.

I got strict and put restrictions on him like no internet and hanging out with friends and whenever I asked he sweared upon Allah that he isn't lying or hiding. A few days back he confessed that he have been hanging out with friends and lying when I was busy in my work or studies. He have been using internet and taking drugs in different forms (different substances).

We do not live together because we are not publicly married besides my parents do not know that I am secretly married to him and lost virginity. I don't want to get divorced because I love him so much but also divorce isn't liked in Islam. I have done enough sins but now I want to fix things reciting Surah Muzamil all the time and crying and begging Allah for help. Please tell me what should I do? He says he does not take drugs anymore but symptoms are contrary to his words.

Mir24

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3 Responses »

  1. Sister, you are technically not married. If you don't have your parents consent, it's doesn't count as a marriage. There is no secret marriage in Islam. Stop all communication and don't go near him. He is not your husband. Don't be fooled into thinking you are married.

    And if he is a drug addict, then stay away. He doesn't sounds like husband and father material in the future.

    You cannot change people my dear. You can tolerate their bad behaviour for so long, but they cannot change unless they want to.

    You may love him, but you have to think about yourself and your future children if he willbe a good provider and someone who will be a good muslim husband who can guide your lil family. You are young, you have time to find someone else.

    There is love, and there is thinking about your future and you after life my dear. Find a good husband who never drinks, never does drugs. Never chats with girls and has good morals even before you were in the picture. A husband who will read quraan with you and your children, not take money to buy drugs and alcohol.

  2. "I got strict and put restrictions on him like no internet and hanging out with friends and whenever I asked he sweared upon Allah that he isn't lying or hiding."

    It sounds like you are talking about your rebellious teenage child, not a husband. Secret marriage, you don't live together, he's doing haram things behind your back... I don't know what to call this, but it's certainly not a marriage.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

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