Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My Husband is a Weak Muslim

Day and night

Assalam alaykum. I have been married for coming up on 10 years and my husband and I have a few children together.

MashaAllah, my husband is respectful and shows appreciation of me as his wife and mother of his kids. If we were a secular couple, I couldn't complain about his few shortcomings. But since we are Muslim, there are expectations of each of us as spouses and parents.

My husband knows he should pray and learn Quran, but he's quite lazy about doing it. Basically he doesn't pray unless I initiate it, and he has only learned two surahs in the nearly 10 years he's been a Muslim.

His lack of Islamic duty drags me down. I feel like I'm having to carry the banner of Islam for the entire family, and it's a heavy load to bear as I'm also trying to raise a family and manage a home with little to no help from him.

Ive suggested many things, such as texting each other when we've prayed so we can encourage each other, or going to a halaqa to have reminders and a good environment. He always agrees that these are good ideas and we, or he, should do them, then nothing comes out of it. He sighs and reluctantly will go to a short class if I push the issue.

I ensure that I'm not nagging and I don't bring this up more than a few times a year.

Ive gone from a strong, practicing Muslim to one who barely prays. I do teach the kids Islam and Quran, and I take classes and self study, but daily prayer has taken a huge hit because it just feels so burdensome to be the one to initiate every single time, and for my husband to never recite more than one surah beyond Fatiha. I don't know how to explain to the kids that their dad knows less Quran than they do and not make him sound bad. He has no desire to emulate the sunnah, but he does avoid the haram.

I've even told him that if he doesn't start being able to support me in my Islam the way I support him, I'd need to leave. Now I don't know if I could actually follow through.

In sha Allah I look forward to your response.

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5 Responses »

  1. assalaamu alaykum Wifeofweakmuslim,

    The husband should be the one taking responsibility for the religious environment of the household and he doesn't appear to do that. Still, I take it he does Believe and he respects you so things could be a lot worse. I don't see any immediate reason for a Divorce and also there's nothing stopping You from doing as much 'ibaada as you like. Perhaps if he sees you praying and he doesn't he will start to feel ashamed and increase his devotions. Also do dua,' to Allaah swt, to influence your husband to do more.

  2. good reply from Goran you can dua for him .ALLAH bless you.

  3. Will do inshah'Allaah Sofi.

  4. Salam, first you need to make dua for allah to guide him, secondly you need to make him watch a video of hell and how it is going to be like or you could just explain to him and tell him, thirdly , you need to consult a counselor or a sheikh let him talk to a sheikh , if all didnt work you need a divorce, now i am not trying to break you up , because if he affects your relationship with allah then you need to end that relationship , it affects your faith , and after a few years you would be just like him , the thing you must fear the most is that your children will grow up be hypocrites, divorce him , its not haram , do whatever it takes for the sake of allah.

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