Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband left me but I don’t understand if he cheated me or not

bad love

I was very strong woman from rich family . I had no boy friend (i think because of my fat body i don't know actually ) . From the childhood i just believe that i will love my husband only. Now i am 32 years old. When i was 28 i just give up my marriage dream because everyone came to marry me because of my dad's wealth. At last in 2013 my ex husband's family came & both families was happy to get each other. i was very happy because my dream man come finally as i want he is decent, slim ,educated, polite, rich (as not as us) but i am happy because who has job who does not wait for my dad's money. i asked him why me?   he said you are educated, smart, good looking ( it is not he every one told me) one problem is fat . i have a problem after my dad died my mother married my uncle. i think it was not a problem. his uncle my father in law meet my dad . in this meeting they fixed marriage within 6 day so my nikha complete waiting for wedding ceremony after 5 month. my mother in law always ring me & asking for out with her. one day i went out with her then she asking me about my wealth. oh my god i just felt something. but i just trying her to show i don't understand her .after that she directly demand one flat and one car from my dad and i cried a lot and my dad told me there was something misunderstand why she demand this? they told us they have 8 to 10 flats. your husband has 2 flat and one huge amount fixed deposit as his father left for him.   i told my dad no problem he has no flat or no money he has a bank job and he have maintain his own family (me). i have lot he use it but cannot demand. so my family went their house to talk and my mother in law misbehave to them and lot of problem arise my father in law  is not his own uncle , he came from another family , my husband has no background,  his mother is bad women his step father want to leave him etc. now everyone said what was husband own opinion. he told everyone  i love my mother and i don't want to loose my wife. i want she (me) live with me and my own house. now  we live in small flat after that we shift big flat. so i am very happy he try to save our relation . no matter small flat or big. every one said he has no structure he just told what his mother teach him. but i am happy i thought every man should love his parents . if a man love his mom he love his wife as well. so my dramatic mother in law start her drama now this time they have no money to buy me wedding staff  bla bla bla. at last she give me wedding dress and gold. so wedding day came she start her drama again she insult me in front of every one and left me and also her son and family   and  my husband as usual quite. now i told my family that is enough i don't want to continue this relation any more. but the stupid husband and his family wait for me to take me. my father in law told me leave her,  lets go with us  then my family told me go with them . i just surprised and smile then go with them. they entered  me my mother in law's home then i see my friend, my younger brother, cousin and my bhabi enter after me. so my mother in law's sister insult them told them to leave. so now the war start . my husband quite as usual . My  family came to take me but my father in law and husband promise them my mother in law did not interfere. and they gave me small flat in same building. my husband announced in front of everyone  i have job and i have this small flat and i want my wife  and i thought after 4 month he promise something in front of everyone and become hero then i said okay let's see.

after that day me & my husband decide forgot the past & start a fresh start. from the 1st day i start cooking for my husband . it was nice he doing shopping and cook for him we play we romance we talk we go out. it was nice some of his cousin came i do entertain them talk them nicely. his younger and father came i talk them nicely too . my husband was very good human being  he help me , he support me when i feel lonely ans sad he always keep me happy . i thought according to Islam a woman is married for four (things); her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. so no matter he marry me for money, if  he do his husband duty.

after 15days his mother played again  stop my electricity, my water supply , his brothers , fathers stop to meet me, the main gate locked for not to enter my dad side car  etc . my family worried for me what they want ? their neighbor told us they need to push. if you (my family) give them loose they become bad . Don't break the relation because the boy (my husband)  is very good  human being. his father does not want the boy lived with his family & don't want to give him anything. And we find he (my father in law) is main player. And I feel sorry for my husband and decide i will  give him  love,  money every thing  but not told him . the mission start  they doing wrong i am become bad woman .

then they start to use my husband against me . he start lying also, that was horrible he did not give me a penny only buy cheap food , he never use his  hand but mentally. i remember i was do bath 7 to 8 time a day  because i can not tolerate hot ( before i use  to in  AC and generator )  but  here no AC no generator but his mom's flat has all the facilities . i became mad  i fight him at night when i didn't sleep at all i also use my hand also. Electricity were often gone. i lay down on floor.i cried a lot but he quite as usual .  my dad give all fan , all furniture, tv , cooker every thing. he buy a flat for me which is handover in January 2015. he (my father ) offer me a generator but i decide not to take anything  from my dad . i decide i will struggle till December and try him to be good man. i told him forgot ac we will buy a ips buy installment. but not agree this so fight again & again.

after 2 month i decide to stop fighting then i'll buy ips myself. tell him i leave you u your own ways do what ever you want . i do not anything to you , if you want you can divorced me then he say sorry to me and tell me i have limit income i can not afford your demand  but i don't want to loose you. then i told him demand ! did you spend a single penny for me ? did i demand anything to you? i did  everything my self  from the wedding day my dad give me a maid.  he ask me one chance then i  gave him. we decide the budget. after that he trying to be good husband & i was happy we went out for fucka , for walking, etc he was totally different man .i can understand him .after some time he again bad mood. then really upset and find the reason what is wrong with me? you don't believe that he was good because of his parent went out for 2 weeks and again again fight hand to hand fight, want divorce etc but he never want divorce, never raise his hand. all the time  i want divorce. then i speak him directly look tell your parent be happy their own way and leave us our own way . i   will give you free for your all responsibility to me . i don't anything, don't play with me. please don't destroy me. please leave me . if you not i will give you divorce. for god sack   i don't want to live with you . my mom and brother come tell him look this last time we come here if you don't continue anymore we will think about it you always tell us  you don't want to loose your wife . this is not a drama . Now it is right time to end drama. then he say sorry to everyone. i promise it is not happen anymore.

after that he was really changed. this last two month is most beautiful time in my whole life. he was amazing. i always take care his food , his cloths, his staff  etc by the way he bring few shirt , 2 paint , one shoe and  2 t shirt   from his mother  and i gave him every thing.  and beautiful 2 month i will describe you and also last day

dear i am feeling better to write this. i know it is big . i want to share all this for me and me only. now a days i am become mad and feel very very weak . never forgot him . want him back in my life. when i go to sleep i remember him , when i wake up remember him, everywhere his   talk, his  story, his love , his kiss, his hug, his gossip, his jokes , his favorite food,  oh Allah what should i do . his loving 2 month i forgot all 4 months pain. he was very good person , he trying his best , we sleep together , we do namaz  together, we break our roza together, the whole ramjan month Allah gave us the full rahamad of the whole world . in the morning when he went his office he kiss my forehead and reached office he ring me , i waiting for him i cook for him various dishes. we go out together. do iftar in my dad's house. every one happy. my dad gave me big amound for eid shopping . i sepnt all the money for him , his mom , dad  and also my family member.  because at eid time everyone gift exchange each other. my husband has no money . so i do this form my husband side. then he tell me please i know you do this for my goodwill .but i want to be good in your eyes not others . i want to gift you something. then he gave me for the first time  2 small beautiful nice ring. now i flying  like a bird . i do 2 rakat sukra namaj and thank to Allah . i cried and this for happy. when my husband saw this and he was ready everything for me to be happy. he gave me dress and many things . Allah give us his bless. But his family i totally forgot his family.

the drama start again and again . she trying to give her trick my husband head. but now he didn't agree to take their trick. he was mad one two time he told me about their against. but i can not handle that  i can't tolerate how a son tell again his parents. i told him please don't talk to them like that in front of me. you have only one qualities that is you love your mom. leave them their own ways . according to son do your duties. So my husband was also happy . He don't want meet me and his mom together. after 2 3 day my husband come to me tell his mom want to take him aboard for his treatment for 5 days. then i felt something and smile & ask him what you want? he replied if you feel sorry ,i..... . i told him its hurt.  after 2 days he told me we are going after eid day. that was really unbelievable i again fight him , you my husband , we are not spend a single holiday & your mom always leave you and take her other child now when you are married, take way without your wife. how mean. the whole night we fight . next morning he told me ok i am not going . you happy and i let go my last chance . then i feel very sad he never go abroad , if his mother do for me that is OK .good for him.  so he went with his mom & brother. there he little bit change  but i don't bother i knew that. so he came after 8 days . after one days we fight. then he try to solve it and i gave him the chance and go out for our first trip.

this is the most memorable trip in my life. we went not abroad  went for one day tour. in this tour my husband change another man who is loving, caring, supporting, responsible totally new man . he take off my shoe and help me for everything . when time to come back he don't want to back. then we come back we fight again he care etc then we start six roza  again nice movement come back, when six roza finished next day my flat electricity gone for 2 days i asked my him reason sometime he told this sometime that . we go out with my dad's car when we back guard refuse to open door . my husband manage somehow. my husband and me back in our flat we do romance and fight also . my husband told me how you spend  in dark i told him no worries. the next morning we do breakfast together , play together , launch together, dream together,  planning for the future, emotional movement came he console me he kiss me promise me always love me . my dad send car for me to go shopping  with mom for an hour . so i went and this is last good bye . when i came back my car refused to enter by guard.  i am became very anger. today my car has to  entered. then his mom come in and shouting very badly and my mom went to meet her. she gave slap to my mom . my husband try to stopped her then kick him and then do misbehave . then horrible war start and i also misbehave with  his mother and he just quite like a stupid. then his father came & slap my husband forcefully catch him  told do talak  and every said he 3 times said i divorced her.  my mom brother dad going mad and their neighbor also . my brother fight  his brother   their neighbor came & they trying to solve that . and finally my father in law was beaten by his neighbor, police came. trying to solve but they failed. my husband stood up beside his mom quietly. i told everyone no need to fight no matter  what happened . after that next morning we file a case and they send us divorced paper. By the way my father in law is an advocate. he got support from BAR . when BAR Council call a meeting talk to us they trying to help us . i was trying to communicate my husband . but i failed. he never try to communicate with me.  after so many meeting  and incident he face me for sign the divorce paper. i didn't saw him just sign and he also do. after finishing formalities time to go,  he just look at me and i looked at him and both eyes down. end the relationship.the  date was 10/9/2014 and my nikha date was 9/10/2013 .

Still now i do not forget him, i still love him, i want back him in my life, if anyone said anything bad to him it's hurt. i don't know how i spent my life . i am complete my education , don't want do any thing, don't want to talk to anyone . i went London two time there everyone was happy for my marriage, i don't want to go there also. when i go out i feel very lonely actually all the time i do own work but now  can't. i need someone who push me for everything, i need support. in past i done my work easily now that i can not do. my family arrange some proposal for me  but i can not move on . actually i never told him i love him a lot . he always told me but i told him love is which is not necessary to tell it seems your work. my ceremony happened February 2014  . from that time i cook for him i wash his cloth by my maid, i love to packed his lunch box, i love wait for him i love to cook new item for him  . when he come out from bathroom after bath i love take his smell, doing his hair style , choosing his dress. when i come back from friday jumah he give salam i really miss that , wheh he went to office he give me kiss i really miss that, when we fight (sorry i fight he never fight with me )i miss that fight . during the fight if  i get any pain he kissed that place i really miss that. in night time my head is on his chest now i really missed that.

please pray for me And tell Allah  keep my ex husband happy And for me also for move on.  everyone hate him . i m trying but i can not.  normal y   i understand people  i can idenfy  who is good or bad . every said he played with me but i can trust them i heart said he had no option.   i am sure he is good human being.


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6 Responses »

  1. I didnt understand a word u wrote. Its all very confusing. Seriously nothing made sense.

  2. Assalaamu Alaikkum Dear sister
    first of all this thalaq is invalid????

    thalaq given by 3rd party (who ever it is ) pressure is not valid at all

    so there is chance you can live ur life again with ur husband.

    but u have to let him know abt this and wait for sometime to change thats he understands the tricks of his parents and decides you are important for him

    But get the mashurah from elders also.

    You should havbe let him know that u luv him lot.

    Its really great sabr u have observed with his family. May Rab give you the best in this world & Aakhirah and join you with your husband .
    May Allaahu 'Azzawajal change the situation he will love u and wont hurt u again and so u also will never fight him Aameen.

  3. hard to understand your post dear

  4. as salam o alaykum
    Dear sister

    I understood what you said.
    I am really sorry for you.
    May Allah swt ease your pain.
    May he grant you a loving husband and a happy life with him aameen.
    Don't he hopeless.

  5. He did not cheat you.
    He just does not have enough courage to stand against his family.
    I believe he will also be missing you.
    Be patient and turn to Allah swt.

  6. Salaam sis,

    I understand the entire contain of your message. Patient is virtue. Continue praying to Allah and put your head u[p. He, the Almighty has all possibilities to change your life for the test, He is testing you. Keep your faith and continue praying inshAllah by the end of the month of Ramadan, He will reveal you something good that will make you smile. Just do your part.

    Patient, inshAllah it will all work out.


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