Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband makes me sick, what should I do?

Asalam Alaikum whoever read this,

unhappy woman

I'm a revert to Islam.  I had a bit of an unhappy background and wanted to leave my family home so I got married when I was 16.  I had a baby when I was 17. Now I am 18 and my husband moved us 300 miles away from my family and friends.

He looks at other girls, or should I say he STARES at them?  He smiles and lets the pretty girls overtake him in the car.  He chats to women. and he calls me as fat, monster, jelly, makes fun of my body and appearance as I put on a bit weight after giving birth and can't shift it again.  he calls me these things 'jokingly' but I told him I don't find it funny, but he still does it.

He used to always compare me to his mom and sisters... he always says they work hard, they make nice food, they wear nice clothes... and basically I am the opposite in his opinion.

He makes mistakes and breaks things in our rented accomodation and he blames me for doing it.  If he break a plate, then it would be my fault somehow.

He wastes money, he is in debt and persuaded me over last year and half to give him around £7000 in total.  He gathers debt over a few months, then he asks me for £1000 here and £2000 there. We had no money but he insisted to buy a car even though his work is within walking distance, so are all shops.  He resents me if I ask to buy some clothes or even some fruits and vegetables, but he always eats what he likes (curry and rice) and always has clothes he likes to wear.  When I want to buy a toy for baby, or some Islamic books, he tells me no.  But he doesn't teach me about Islam either.  He never really got on well with my mom, and now he tells me I cannot invite her to our home unless he says its okay, and he says he will not say it is okay - so he is trying to cut my family ties just because he doesn't like them, and they are non Muslim.

He always tells me how fat I am, and he only buys me to eat cakes, fried food, chocolates, every time.  Also, I can't diet because I am breastfeeding baby still and it's not good for the milk, I believe.

He also loves his own body too much, he says he wish I had same body as him sometimes.

He makes fun of my shyness, and my lack of confidence... and that I am lonely here as I don't know anyone, and when I meet people he tells me forget about them and doesn't want me to make any effort to be nice or make friendships.

Also,  he appears to be repulsed by me as I am a bit dumpy and my skin very light and I have some excema and he doesn't like my appearance because he wishes that I was Asian as well.  In addition to this, I find his looks are not to my liking. He never beautifies himself for me (sometimes he does it for his work colleagues though!) and he is balding, and he neither shaves it nor grows the beard it remains as half stubble and I don't like it on him. Also, his manners are bad, he passes wind and burps when we are eating, he even leans to pass wind in my direction, when I am eating mostly!

He has bad breath and been to dentist only once in his life. He doesn't know how to brush his teeth properly and he never listens to me when I try to tell him.

He watches cricket all the time, or sleeps all day when he has holidays.  If baby wakes up he hands her to me and he sleeps again and I have to go to sleep late, and wake up early.  I lost alot of energy since had baby and he doesn't understand that I am not as energetic as I used to be as a child!

Also, he likes to watch skantily dressed women appearing on tv and on internet.  He stares at bollywood actresses and makes me jealous and sad.

He speaks to me in a disrespectful way and he has said to me sometimes he likes my age because he can 'influence me' how he likes.

He puts volume really loud and shouts instead of speaking even though I told him my head is sore lately and my hearing is going strange and painful.

He shouts and swears at me nearly every day, and I don't do anything wrong to him.

Sometimes he physically stops me from cooking and then after he has cooked he calls me useless and lazy.

Because of how he behaves, I have grown to dislike him alot.  I am repulsed by him I do not want to even look at him or touch him.  He talks bad, he talks rubbish and he swears and curses and always bad things about my mom.

I am not in love with him, and I find that any love I have for him is disappearing.

I don't want to lose my baby, and I am scared he will take her to India and I will never see her again. Also I am scared if I ask for divorce as he told me already he will divorce me IF I ASK for it, I am scared he will kick me out of house, and I have no money I am scared he will not repay money I loaned to him (I wanted to save money to buy home one day, but he wanted to buy gifts for his mum, and sisters as they are more precious to him than I am).

I am scared as he sometimes implies that because we live together and are registered marriage together that he can maybe do something like max out his credit cards then dissappear and leave me to pay it off or something.

What should I do?  I don't want to stay unhappy forever as it is slowly lowering my Iman and my love for Islam as in the beginning I saw a beautiful well balanced religion, but now he makes me think badly sometimes.

I know that we should appoint arbitrators but I don't know how it is possible.

Also,  in Quran mentions an iddat for divorce, iddat refering to 3 monthly cycles... whereas my husband thinks talak times 3 on the spot is final... he doesn't believe we need witnessees or to wait Urdu or English.

- jamball

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20 Responses »

  1. Assalamu Aleikum ,

    wow, what a sabr. I think you'll be rewarded on the day of judgement- for having tolerated this jerk for such

    a long period of time. This behaviour is disrespectful in all aspects, and no human being would behave like

    that. No sense of hygene, insulting, not looking after himself, looking at non-mahram women. That's the whole

    package of immoral behaviour. Although I shouldn't make the difference between practising and non-practi-

    sing Muslims, as no civilized human being would ever behave like your husband, I believe that Islam's code

    of ethics and morals can keep us from becoming like your husband. How dare he insult your physique and

    stare at actresses? To me, it sounds like a narcisstic personality disorder. He doesn't seem to be

    satisfied with himself, therefore he has to offend you and hurt you. He can't destroy himself, so he

    belittles you, wants you to feel ugly, bad and inferior-that's exactly his own feeling. This is a mental

    disorder- it makes people intolerable for their environment. You're not his slave, who is he to tell you to

    cut off ties with your relatives? Who is he to stare at actresses? Of course women gain weight after

    pregnancy, and can't lose it while breastfeeding. Instead of supporting you as a mother, he looks at.. I'm

    sorry.. sluts. He has a responsibility as a father and has to take care of his children as well- instead of

    leaving you alone with the upbringing. Sister, having excema or gaining weight after childbirth doesn't make

    you unattractive. Please don't lose your confidence because of a stupid, insensitive, shallow and primitive

    jerk who hasn't understood his faith, who doesn't know anything about the value of a female. He thinks

    he's better looking than you? Well, just by saying this sentence, his low self-esteem is revealed. Why does

    he need to compare your looks to his? Why are looks a topic for him?

    Sister, this is crazy, it is psychologically devastating and not a good environment for raising your innocent

    little child. You live in the West( if I'm not wrong??), you won't get divorced in a Muslim court. Even if you

    will, in Islam, the divorce initiated by the female is called Khula and believe me: With this man, you have

    the 100% right to get divorced and keep your child. He won't be able to convey any values to your child-

    even Sudan or Saudi Arabia would grant you a divorce in this particular case. Take your kid to India? That

    would be against the law. Sister, your husband is not healthy and I fear he will do something to you that

    is even worse. You mentioned that your family is 300 miles away from you and you're a revert. I'm sure

    your family would help you. How about taking your child and going there? If this is not possible, seek

    help from an Islamic women's shelter or normal women's shelter. Maybe the editors on this site know

    a few addresses in your region they can give you . Don't be afraid- he can't do anything . The law protects

    you. As long as you don't have a job, you can live from unemployment benefits and later on, you can

    look for a job, or get married to someone decent who treats you with the love you deserve. Sister, staying

    with this man because you feel it is too difficult to be on your own is too risky. And end with horror is better

    than horror without an end. Don't stay with him, save your self-esteem and your child. This man doesn't love

    himself. He despises himself. He needs to humiliate you to feel better. This is so disgusting.

    Sister, I wish you all the best. May Allah free you from this man.

    God bless you

  2. Dear Jamball

    I totally agree with the reply above post. So much sabar in you but this kind of behaviour is unacceptable. Your husband does what he does so he find the need to humiliate you to feel better, inside he’s the coward one and has the lowest self esteem and the ugliest person inside not you. I hope you find strength to leave him and see your family.

  3. In addition to the other things my husband does, recently we have been trying to make peace and have been watching programmes together on tv, like 'soaps' kind of things... well he has been making strange feelings that he's now looking at men. I ask him are these women attractive and I am not? and he simply stays quiet then out of the blue he keeps looking at the men and saying things and the other day he came out with something along the lines of: ''being attracted to men isn't haram, it's acting on that that is''
    Also, when we are intimate together he never makes any effort to please me, he just comes to me as he is without beautifying himself, then it's over after one or two minutes he doesn't even try any kind of foreplay or anything. I dressed nicely for him, wore nice clothes, nice undergarments, etc did make-up and hair, and he liked it only once. the other time I did it he just rejected me and I felt so embarrassed and humiliated and upset and hurt and I have been put off doing it.. Now he tells me to wear eye make up everyday so I can look 'Asian' or 'Arab' instead of the 'white' that I am?! He approaches me when I try to sleep, when I am really tired, and he just 'gets it over with' I really don't feel any satisfaction from him at all. I don't want to divorce him because everyone is just waiting to say 'i told you so' and laugh in my face, and I want Mariya to know both her parents and families and he says it wont be possible if we are separate. I tried to talk to my friends/family about my problems and some of them said divorce him, some of them said he's a moron, one of them said stay with him and work it out. Now that I tried to give him another chance, no one talks to me, no one supporting me or anything. I'm 300 miles away from them but when I visit there no one wanted to see me, no one makes effort to call or text or email or anything now. I feel like I have become a joke.

  4. Salaam,

    I don't know whether to believe the post or not. I'm not saying the poster is lying, but there may be some exageration of the situation there. Is it possible that there are human beings out there as evil as this man, I can't think of any man who is so shameless in his behaviour.

    If it part of his character has not been exagerated then may Allah ensure no woman suffers as the hands of this shameless man.

    Young lady you have your entire life ahead of you. I will tell you a secret, most men don't like stick thin ladies, we would like our wives to have a bit of meat on them, so they look healthy and not anorexic. However beauty is something which arrogant and selfish people look for and insult others over. Most (80% of the global population) is average looking or below average at best, but to the one man you are married to, no matter what the world thinks, You are his queen, his angel and the most beautiful woman on Earth. This man does not appreciate you, but there is a man out there, pray to Allah and you will find him, who will see you for your true beauty. I know you're probably going to be scarred and think there are not many decent men out there because of the very few evil men like him, but I can promise you there are many many good men out there. You are the perfect girl a righteous man would look for, family orientated, commited to both the home and your religion and of course pure in the heart. Go ahead with the divorce, Allah will help you, have faith in Allah, he will protect you and if you're struggling there are many Islamic women's shelters all over the western world as the Sister above stated.

    Go home to your family if you can, borrow some money from someone if you have nothing and promise to pay it back. I remember when I went abroad I could get access to any money because I was using a different currency, I asked a shopkeeper for some help and he kindly obliged, may Allah bless him for his kindness, 2 days later when I had converted my money I paid him back. The point is, if you have absolutely no money, borrow some at least till you get home to your family, who can then pay some who helps you back.

    Please have faith in Allah you are being put under immense pressure and are being tested so much and we all feel for you, so keep praying and do not worry about the worldy matters, for Allah is with His servants and HE will protect them.

    May Allah give you the strength to overcome this terrible event. Ameen.

    • That was really mean what you said in the beginning about how there is exxageration about her story about her man . May i tell you my mother went through the same thing only my father beat her up ontop of insulting her appearance daily and her ability to be a good mum.

      She feels she has no one in the world already as it is ! And you go and say that YA ALLAH !

      Salam jambal,
      Anyways jambal i am a 16year old revert , so im in your age range I have had first hand experience in your situation . Iv'e been married for 3/4 weeks now allahumdulillah and we are very happy i pray that you will be happy sister ! Not all muslim men are like this , there are many good brothers out there !

      Me and my mother had to move to a refuge after my father was arrested , i thought the day he was arrested he was going to kill me , i understand how lonely your feel and im so sorry your having to go through with this ! take care i will do dua for you inshallah 🙂

      Oh yes and no matter what forgive your husband , as it's haram to hold a grudge for longer than 3 days

      • MashaAllah sister, good post! I agree with what you said but it needs to be stressed that just because you forgive someone, it doesn't mean that you need to stay with them or forget about what they did to you. Forgiveness simply means that you won't hold any ill feeling in your heart toward that person.

  5. Salaam Sister

    May Allah open His Doors for you. I want to contribute some advice to you. As you used the £, I am thinking you may be from Uk, therefore the best place to start is

    There are good support on the forum, you can ask question or you can contact the Domestic Violence helpline as your husband is an abuser and you are presently suffering from emotional and verbal abuse. You can go to your GP and report your emotional suffering, things get login here and this will all play in your favour. Also start planning to leave, small steps everyday. Record all the insults, all the mistreatments. The Domestic violence will support you in your locality and confidentially and Insha Allah you will be rehoused and start a new life with your baby. Please do not stay and forgive and these kinds of men rarely or never change.

    My duas are with you, pray more tahajjud and do more zikr , Allah will streghten your heart and ease all.

  6. Salaams

    I'm so sorry about what your'e going through. It must be really difficult for you.

    My advice to you would be: Be patient, Save as much as you can. If you are unemployed, find a job. Try to get back the money that you loaned to your husband. Then you can leave him.

    You have a wonderful baby. Be strong, you will be able to manage on your own.

    What your husband is doing to you is totally unacceptable. No women wants to be with a man that does not have respect for her. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your looks. Your husband should accept you for who you are. And furthermore he should accept the fact that with time everybody grow's older and nobody gets younger. Even your husband himself should take great care in trying to groom himself and look more appealing, especially when he's with you.

    Try contacting your family again. In time they would forgive you and maybe they would start speaking to you. You need your family's support.


  7. jazakallah for your input, thoughts and suggestions

    The most hated but permissable thing is divorce. I keep that in mind.

    We are not without our problems in marriage but it's part of our test in life..

    The thing is, your supposed to appoint arbitrators, people to reason with you when you going through trouble times, one from each side of family so that its balanced.
    I involved my parents, my mother is emotional, but my father thinks in a variety of ways more practical and sensible. He sat us down and told us to grow up and make things work. We have a lovely daughter together alhamdulillah. We started to make changes within ourselves to heal our marriage.

    We share our chores, we spend more time together, we have daughter in a routine now so we are not completely drained of energy every day. Things are improving slowly. Nobody's perfect, and one of my friends reminded me that this marriage bond was made by Allah swt and it's a serious thing so we have to be mature about it and we all have the choice of having an easy ride in the dunya, not challenging ourselves, not making ourselves better, but staying the way we are, or we can change ourselves and maybe we won't have it 100% perfect in the dunya, but we have to keep our hearts and our faith and always strive for the reward with Allah in Jannah inshaAllah.

  8. Well, that doesn't sound like abuse any more. It was a good idea to appoint an arbitrator. Insha allah your

    husband will change, or both of you and you're going to have a good relationship. Just one tip from woman to

    woman: Don't ask your husband if others are more attractive or as attractive as you are. They aren't worth it.

    They aren't even worth the thought. Those ladies wear so much make- up, have hair-extensions, nose-jobs...

    they aren't real. And they aren't worth this comparison. Maybe it would be helpful to stop watching sitcoms,

    or soap operas and do useful things together.


  9. Salam,

    I am ready to help my converted to Islam sisters and brohers. Please contact me at my mail ********* Mansoor

    • Brother Mansoor, Asalaamualaikum,

      It is very kind that you want to help our revert brothers and sisters. It would be better for you to give your advice openly through the website inshaAllah as it is more in-line with Islamic etiquettes. Therefore, we have removed your email address from your post.

      We look forward to contribution on the site inshaAllah.

      SisterZ Editor

      • Dear My Sister in Islam: As I said I am very keen to help my brohers and sisters who just converted to Islam through so man ways. I wouls appreciate if you introduce them in my country where I am reside to me therefore I can personally assist them. Mansoor

        • Mansoor,

          We cannot and do not give out any of our writer's contact details. That is unsafe and not in line with Islamic guidelines. If we knew who you were or that you were part of an established organisation that offers specific services, we could consider it.

          Our brother and sisters are openly writing to us for advice, so we openly share advice and information with them. You are most welcome to do the same.



  10. This husband of yours sounds like a jerk!!! He should be happy that you have a child for him to carry on both of your legacies. You are stong for putting up with this nonsense, but don't forget you are not a beast of burden! It sounds like your husband is trying to justify his lustful thoughts (or lustful actions) by placing blame on you (i.e. fat, monster,etc.). He is transferring images of how he sees himself and is projecting them on you. And this is not right. It does not help that you do not have the support of your family and friends close to you, of whom you could seek support. You are an awesome mother, continue to do the excellent job of raising your child. At the same time, do things for yourself that will help you to become stronger every day, be it exercising for 15 to 30mins by walking your little to the park, watching what you eat, continue asking Allah for guidance and strength, reading books to strengthen your character, taking long distance courses to improve your education - you don't have to do this all at the same time; just incorporate them little by little into your daily routine. You don't need to tell your husband what you are doing for justification either. You will feel yourself getting stronger and stronger. Create a new network, is there a community centre for Muslima's that you can attend with your child and speak to someone there? This way, you are able to vent. When you exercise, you can burn off the negative energy your husband throws your way. Your husband may see you in a different light when you start to assert yourself. You married pretty young, is your husband a lot older than you? In either case, building a thicker skin and standing up for yourself and your child could help a great deal. Again, trust that Allah will guide you to a stronger, wiser you!!!

  11. Assalamu alaikom sister,

    Wow! I don't even know where to begin in regard to this. This is a bit of a long reply but there's so much I want to say to you. One thing that I feel was conspicuously absent in your story was any mention of an Islamic lifestyle. Are both you and your husband praying salat regularly? Does he attend juma'a and other masjid functions? Do you make salat together as a family?

    This story saddens me to no end, and it's painfully obvious that this man has critically weak iman. I find it hard to believe that a man who is strong in deen and making salat regularly could continue show such injustice to one of Allah Azza wa Jal's servants, even though as Muslims we are all well aware of the repercussions of such acts. If he is fulfilling the basic Islamic duties such as salat, juma'a congregations, fasting, zakat, etc. yet STILL behaving in such a despicable manner then it's clear that he's a munafiq (hypocrite) and he should swiftly repent if he fears Allah SWT and the Last Day.

    You should be sure that your deen is on point. His injustice is no excuse to abandon fardh acts such as salat, fasting, zakat, observing hijab, tending to your husband's marital needs, treating him with respect, etc. Always remember to make du'a to Allah SWT whether in good times or in bad times, be sincere and humble when you approach Him. Try reading the Qur'an daily and attending online lectures to broaden knowledge of your faith ( has wonderful live lectures all the time, alhamdulillah). Ask your husband to lead you in salat at least a few times a week, and seek recommendations for some good Islamic books to read.

    Now to address some of your points. First you said that he stares at other women, flirts with women in public, chats with other women, and likes to watch scantily dressed women on TV and online. I don't know if you have called him on this, but this is BLATANT disobedience to Allah SWT, as he said in Surat an-Noor 30:

    "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them. Indeed Allaah is well acquainted with all that they do."

    Whether he's staring at Bollywood actresses or women on the street, online or on TV, the bottom line is that it's WRONG. Even if he didn't touch any of the women, it makes you jealous and sad, but more importantly it's haram. It's zina of the eye and he should be called on it.

    The Prophet saws is reported to have said: 'The eyes commit adultery, the tongue commits adultery, the hands commit adultery, the feet commit adultery and then the private parts confirm it or deny it." (Reported by Ahmad Ibn Hanbal)

    Not to mention the fact that he has absolutely NO BUSINESS whatsoever talking to or chatting with women who are not mahram for him (that means you, his mother, stepmother, daughter, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, and women with whom he shares a milk bond. NO ONE ELSE, not cousins and especially not sisters-in-law). This is haram, haram, HARAM. If it is for his work, I could understand, but it needs to be short, professional and to the point. Unnecessary chitchat or contact of any kind with non-mahram women is unacceptable and he should fear Allah SWT.

    Now in regard to the issue of him beautifying himself. It is very important in Islam for there to be love cultivated between the husband and wife. A part of this is appreciating one another and beautifying for one another. Now don't put the onus on him to look good if you are lounging around in the home in sweats and generally letting yourself go. Make sure that you're watching your weight. I know that you said that you just had a baby but you should still be controlling your weight (breastfeeding actually helps to lose weight) by eating healthy and finding time to exercise (You can do that in your home, for example, using cans as arm-lifting weights, push-ups, sit-ups, squats, jogging in place, jumping jacks etc. I saw an article in Parents magazine where moms were using the baby as weight in lifting exercises). Take care not to neglect your own hygiene, wear perfume and makeup for him if that's what he likes, and wearing clean, attractive clothing for him. (Aloe vera gel, coconut oil or oatmeal [let it cool and apply 10-15 min, wash off] all work wonders for eczema btw.)

    Tell him what you would like from him in this regard as well! He should also know that he should do his best to accomodate what you find to be physically attractive as well, that means showering, haircut, fresh clothing, cologne and a shave if that's what you like (unless he's growing a sunnah beard, in which case he should keep the mustache trimmed and neat). It's not a lot for a woman to ask from her husband, it's what he should happily comply with if he truly loves and respects you, and it's obligatory.

    He should know that bad breath is so offensive that this is the very reason that the Prophet saw forbade anyone who had eaten raw onions or garlic from salat in the masjid or to even go near the masjid (Tell him to try flossing once daily and brushing properly 2x daily, followed by 30-40 sec gargle with peroxide, guaranteed to kill bad breath). the really disturbing part of your story. The fact that he constantly puts you down (even in 'jest', in reality he's trying to humiliate you) and makes you feel bad about yourself, talks to you disrespectfully with shouting and swearing, tries to make you feel guilty by comparing you negatively to others and shifting blame, is socially isolating you and increasing your dependence on him by cutting you off from other relationships, activities, and social interaction, does things repeatedly even though he knows that it makes you angry, jealous, or sad, and is overly controlling in regard to your financial situation, these are tell-tale signs of emotional and verbal abuse.

    You say that things are getting better. Has your husband entered into a therapy program? It sounds to me that you are simply in the 'honeymoon' phase of the abuse wallahu Aleem. I sincerely hope that I am wrong, but abuse is a degenerative cycle. This means that without help, he will continue this despicable behavior and it will get worse, not better over time. Arbitration between your family and his is NOT the solution in regard to an abuser, which your husband is, unless one or more of these arbitrators are licensed therapists trained to deal with this problem.

    I repeat this for emphasis: Without sustained therapy specifically targeted toward the abusive relationship patterns, abusive relationships DO NOT GET BETTER, they get progressively worse over time. Please refer to this link which describes in detail the cycle of abuse:

    Divorce is hated in the sight of Allah SWT, but if your husband is unwilling to own his behavior and seek help the prudent course of action is to remove yourself totally from the situation, inshaAllah, and seek divorce. This is painful, but is generally safer and ultimately better for both parties than allowing the cycle of abuse to continue. Utilize some of the resources that the other posters mentioned and GET OUT if he is not willing to seek therapy. Be prepared for the abuse to escalate after you leave - stepping out of the cycle enrages the abuser, as it shatters their illusion of control (75% of women killed by their abusive partners are murdered after they leave). Learn how to protect and care for yourself. Detachment with love is difficult, but the best solution if your partner is unwilling to work though the issues.

    May Allah Azza wa Jal make it easy for you sister, Ameen.

  12. for the sake of your child you should leave. Why raise a child in that environment? Look at what he has for a role model. You have a good heart, now make it strong.

  13. dear sis ,what an awful situation you are marriage began lioke that but with years of praying and crying alhumdulillah things have changed.i love being married now my husband is a changed man and i have 2 beautiful kids.
    life is a test,allah swt tests us everyday,all we can do is grow nearer to our deen and pray people change,inshallah it will happen!
    have sabar and carry on being a good wife and mother,he will realise what he has one day,inshallah.

  14. Get out of there, and do it quickly. His abuse will escelate over time. He is an Abuser, and he will grind away your self esteem, and sense of self-worth until there is nothing left. In time he will most likely become physically abusive as well.
    Abuse creeps up on you. The conditions that you are enduring are out of this world. Forget about this petty concern over others who "told you so". If they told you he's no good, they were right. Good on them. Love them for telling you what you needed to hear. Now hear it, and act at last. You are in deep trouble whilst together with this maggot. He is useless to you and himself. He has nothing to bring to the relationship, or the well being of your child.
    If you think it's ok to be staying around this looser, it's your foolish decision, but it is unacceptable for you to remain there whilst a child is in your care.
    Please do get yourself away from this Abuser, and never look back. Take good care of yourself. You deserve it. You are a good person. You have so much to live for. This guy is beneath you in every way. Take any and every step you can, towards regaining your independence. Seek help from where ever you find it, to get away from this person. You will recover once free from his abuse. In time you will think back and cringe over the way he abused you.

    Get free from this Abuser. Go to your parents, even if it means eating humble pie. Believe in yourself. I know with all my heart that you deserve much, much better. What he says about you is all lies.
    You are a good person, and your wellbeing is waiting for you outside this deeply abusive relationship.
    Sincerely, Lars.

  15. asalamu alaikum,

    jazakallahu khair for all your input and trying to help me in this situation.

    The matter is now resolved alhamdulillah.

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