My husband pretended to divorce me in order to marry a second wife
Imam Sahib, I am a revert to Islam for many years. I married my husband 3 years ago.
Due to my medical condition, I gave permission to my husband to take a second wife. The person he wanted to marry put a condition that my husband should divorce me. My husband had no intention to do so. So we devised a scheme to write a letter (unintentional divorce) as below and both of us signed it so that he could marry this other woman. However, my husband has no intention to divorce me.
My husband question is, under the sharia has the divorce taken place? My husband follows hanafi fiqh. My husband Yusuf asked me to send this question to you. He never said verbally Talaaq even once, and while signing he said he has no intention of divorcing me and requested to sign the paper because he wants to marry the other woman and to keep her happy he asked me to sign. And even now he mails me and says he never divorced me.
He does not want to lose me and I also do not want to lose him.We are confused about what to do now.. please guide me. And he wants your answer in written. The letter is:
"I Yusuf B. the undersigned, of sound mind and body, hereby declare that I have given my wife Rehana M three talaaq as from the above date."
But HE NEVER SAID EVEN ONCE THAT HE DIVORCED ME.
And signed by both parties, however there are no witnesses. And he printed this from internet.
Are we divorced?
- rimmi
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hope you will get reply regarding your questions if you are legally divorced or no.
but i just wanted to say that your husband should be stronger and not accepting the ugly request from the woman to divorce you. thats a shame, he should not sign that paper and ask you to sign. he wanted to make her happy but what about u, you have been married for years, he should put you on priority. if i was in your place, i would be so upset on him first.
maybe she will add further conditions later. thats not fair for you. what if she discover that he never intended to divorce and refuse him to visit you etc
wish u the best
ASA
Make dua for me to give sabr and spend my life in zikr.
salaam alkium siis i'm really sooo sad wat u going thrugh i can feel it i'm married 2 ,but it not fear wat ur hubii did 2 u i dont knw wat islam says about thiz matter .just coz u said 2 ur hubii get another wif it desont mean he should ,i ithought marrige iz about beying pashent n luviong 1 another i wanna ask u thiz personal qustion?MAY ALAH PREVENT UZ IF UR HUBII HAD A HEALTH CONDIOTON WOULD TAK ANOTHER HUBII 4 U SLF OR HE DIED ?I DONT THINK SOO .AS WOMEN WE DONT REPLACE OUR HUSBANDZ BUT ANFORTUNATTLY THEY DO N I AGREE WITH DA SIIS SARA WITH EVERYTHING SHE SAID IIMAGIN IF SHE WILL KNW WAT U LOT DID THEN SHE MAY TAK CONTROL OF UR HIBII N WOMEN LYK HER THEY R CAPAPLE OF EVERYTHING ASK ME I KNW HOW WEOMEN THINK LOL BUT INSHALLAH EVERYTGING WILL BE FIN IF U DID IT 4 DA SAK OF ALAH
Salaamalaikum sister
Yes I did this for the sake of Allah. All I want now is sabr. Please make dua for me.
Rehana, maybe you did it because you were afraid that if you did not go along, your husband would divorce you anyway and marry the other woman. But don't say you did it for the sake of Allah. We don't do haram things for the sake of Allah! We cannot lie, cheat or steal and say we did it for the sake of Allah. Do you doubt that it was haram? You admitted that it was a scheme, and that you did not intend to honor the agreement. So you lied, and signed a false statement.
I am shocked that your husband would agree to a request like this, and equally shocked that you would go along with it. I cannot understand your thinking here. Were you thinking that you would exist secretly as his wife for the rest of your life? Every time he wants to see you he would lie to the other wife about where he is going? Does this make sense to you?
I do not know whether your divorce is valid or not. Divorces do not have to be verbal. A statement of divorce can be written. Furthermore, he wrote in it that he has give you three talaqs! And you signed it! I cannot imagine what you were thinking here. But you need to consult with a scholar who can advise you about the legality of the divorce.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Asalaamualaykum Rimmi,
We are not Imams on this site and are not qualified to answer fiqh matters. I could give my opinions on your divorce/marriage, but it will only be a lay-person's opinion and so could be completely wrong. The only solid advice I will give you and 'Yusuf B', is that you present your case to a qualified Imam to seek advice.
Since you are going to show this to 'Yusuf B', I will write this directly to him: Marriage is not a joke. If you do not have the confidence or ability to marry both women openly and if you fear you cannot do justice to more than one wife or cannot handle more than one wife, then stick to the 'one wife'. That is also in line with Islamic guidance.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaamalaikum
You are true. I agree to your statment. And i request you to make dua for sabr, and please make dua for me that my remaining life I must spend in zikr.
salaams
Assalam O Alaikum sister Rimmi,
Masha Allah sister you did a brave thing by allowing your husband to get a 2nd wife for medical reasons. It is allowed to Muslim men to take up to 4 wives in Islam only; if they can treat them equally and provide for them financially. But, what id wrong here is that he has lied to this other women who he intends to take as a 2nd wife, he should be open to all the parties involved sister. What if she finds out, which she will sooner or later, do you guys have any strategy for that. It isn't right at all. I mean, there are a lot of women out there who are willing to be second wife, why did your husband is insistent on marrying this particular women by lying to her.
It's not fair to you as being a wife you have given him the right to take second wife but he can see this that "how difficult it will be for any women to have her husband shared with another women for whatever reason".
I don't have any answer to your question from Islamic point of view but sister INSHA ALLAH I WILL PRAY FOR YOU.
May Allah reward you for this act and bless you with the patience and strong Iman to deal with this situation and remain steadfast on your deen. (Amin)
Jzk,
Asalamoalakum sister
It must have been painful for you to agree to your husband taking a second wife. Not many women would agree to it regardless of reason for it. Allah knows your intentions, we are not here to judge what intention that is because after all, you get in life what The Almighty has decreed for you.
There are legitimate reasons why up to 4 wives are allowed. But comes with them is a criteria that every man has to fulfill if he is to take on another wife. My personal opinion, and that's only what it is as I am no scholar nor fit to give islamic advice, is that in this day and age, it is difficult for any man to fulfill the criteria laid out for them.
The only person who could do this perfectly was our beautiful prophet - peace be upon him - to treat wives equally.
Coming on to your point and my view on this: the 2nd wife has been decieved by both of you. This has been blatant injustice done by both of you to her. She made her position clear she would not go into this if he was still a married man. She went ahead and married your husband based on the belief he is divorced. PLEASE did you not consider you were playing with someone's life and emotions? You cannot trap an innocent party by lying! Imagine the hurt she will feel when she finds out!
Sister you are equally as responsible for this as your husband. It is SO wrong to live a life based on lies.
I myself am in the situation of your husbands second wife. I am in turmoil whether I have been lied to and its killing me spiritually, mentally and physically. People like you and your husband are responsible for throwing people like me into turmoil, confusion and pain.
Get advice from a imaam or scholar.
Tell your husband to come clean to his 2nd wife
Give her the opportunity to accept the situation or walk away. It's her right. Don't take people's rights away by carrying on with this shamble. You both will have to face The Lord, better to face him with repentance and clean intentions to put your wrongs to right.
May Allah guide you and us all sister.