Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband smokes weed

Bags of marijuana, pot, weed, cannabis, drugs.

Salaama Alaikum brothers and sisters

My husband and I have been married for 5 years now and he has smoked weed on and off. He has tried to stop and succeeded many times but always goes back.

We both used to smoke weed but when we got married I stopped but he has not. Allah bless us with 2 children and that habbit still has not stopped.

He is a good man mashallah but has bad habits I have talked to my mother about it and she advised me to be patient. I have tried everything from talking to him, arguing, to trying to help him.

He does not go out unless he is going to get it or going to work. He does not take the children out to spend time with them. Since they have have been born he has taken them out 2 times and they are 2 and 3 years of age now. I do not know what to do he is not praying as much as he use to anymore. I feel like im being pushed into a corner with the walls closing in.

I do not want to leave him because I care for his well being and also I know the potential he has.

Please give me advice brothers and sisters I am scared of the type of influence he will have on his children and myself.

ajan

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9 Responses »

  1. Assalamu Alaycuum Sister Ajan:

    I would kindly suggest that you move out or he gets his own place. Once your husband sees how serious you are then he could change his habits. Do not divorce him. Give him this chance by being separated, and remember this is for the well being example for your children and for the cause of Allah. Do some visits and try to get a councilor to help you and him together. Sometimes it takes alot to sacrifice so that when he missses his family and is lonely he'll change for that sake and Allahu Alim. Explain your plans to him.

    I hope this helps.
    Jazzak Allah Khair
    Sister Fatima

    • Assalaamualaykum Ajan,

      I agree with Aneela's comment above. A separation should help if nothing else is working. May Allah cleanse your house/family of this smoke.

      Hugs,

      Nor

    • Very good advice, indeed! Actually, Aneela have the idea on how to takle the issue, I will go for that Insha-Allah.

      This Sister is really undergoing a difficult test of her life. There are two things I think can help Insha-Allah.

      1.Aneela's point.

      Since an ordinary or normal counsel (to him) can't stop him from this, there are many other ways of "killing the cat". If surely he loves you, sincerely, then I see no reason why you should not boycott his company at home (infact you can equally leave the house with the children for instance, to a relative's). This may ginger him up, to see reason for him to stop.

      Tell it to his face that you cannot continue to live with him, in as much as he continue his sojourn in the world of weed.

      Let him miss you dearly;let him suffer the pains; let him suffer the mental, physical and psychological loneliness. At this stage, do not sought for divorce. Continue the second aspect, here:

      2. Turn to Allah
      Keep on praying, and ask other people around (including brothers and sisters in this and other forums). May Allah change him. Because as the saying goes: HABIT, IF NOT RESISTED, SOON BECOMES NECESSITY.

      His own is even more dangerous. Since there seems to be no hope in sight (a'uzubillah), but Allah knows why, and has appointed time for everything.

      May Allah help us all in seeing that he renounce this act.

      Jazaakallah khairan Katheeran

      And Allah knows best

      Your Brother,

      Abarika @ http://seekerselite.com

      Very good tips Insha-Allah on how to clear your doubts about your faith and stay focused. read it here (http://seekerselite.com/686-2/)

      • What are the hopeless comments .Instead of solving issues you guys are advising to bring more problems in their life by asking her to get separated .This site is having more home breakers than problem solvers .Remember she too used to smoke weed.

        • i agree with ABC separation is not the solution

          • Sometimes it takes separation for people to see what's important in their lives. If she's given him the ultimatum and she goes, he has time and space to think about it. I think separation for a short time is better than divorce.

  2. Asalamu alaykom wa rahmatullah wa barakatu. I was reading your story and subhanallah my situation is the exact same. May Allah protect your family. Our situation turned out different we have been infected with evil jinn now. We were wrong indeed and now we earned our punishment. I pray that no one has to go through what we are going through. We have changed our ways Alhamdulliallah but now we have no peace because these jinn won't leave us. When you a far from the path of Allah the shayateen come and stay with you. Be patient please be patient with him. They want you to separate so they can lead the children astray. Just realize that Allah has power over all things I know it can be frustrating when you want him to listen to you so bad but just keep praying. Pray istikara and ask for a solution ask for a cure. Protect yourself your house your children do adkar and pray tahajjud. Insha'Allah your husband can overcome this hurdle. Be his support be his garment. May Allah cure him and increase his deen ameen

  3. as salaamu alaykum sis Ajan

    Before I reverted to Islaam, 30yrs ago, I used to drink hard liquor on week ends and smoke weed during week days. To be frank, quitting drinks was a Little bit difficult in the beginning, but the weed I just Forgot about! No withdrawal symptoms, Nothing! For that reason I wouldn't make a big Drama about it; it's nothing like Hard Drugs you know and you don't get Drunk off it so I'd say no big Deal.
    What I would do is keep him busy with some Project, preferably one that you can do together and one that's fun and Exciting for you both. Preferably one that gets you out of the house, maybe horse back riding or Scuba Diving or what Have you. Anything, so long as it's Fun and Exciting and gets you Out of the House. If the kids can participate as well then all the Better! May Allaah swt guide you to what's Best! Aamiyn!

    Wa as salaam

  4. Assalamu Alaycuum,

    My husband and I have been married for almost two years now. Before i married him i didn't know that he has sever depression and smokes weed and takes Cannabis as a depression pill. We are in a long distance relationship because of immigration issues. But he has been acting up really weired lately and my life is hell right now. i pray to Allah (SWT) day and night and i cry to bring him to the right path. He has done some bad things in the past which made him depress. I ask him to pray because depression is from Shaytan.

    Should i get a divorce? i tried i can't plus i am worried wether he will be a good father to my child.

    Please advise me brothers and sisters.

    Thank you.

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