Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My husband wants to dissolve our marriage legally to take a second wife

A' Salaamu Alaikum. I am a new American convert. I have been Muslim about 10 months Alhomdulilah, and my husband has been Muslim for about 11 months. He wishes to dissolve our state recognized marriage, so that if he chooses to take a second wife he will not be prosecuted for bigomy. After much arguing I finally came to terms with this on the condition that we write a very detailed marriage contract, one that is fair to both of us. However there are other legal ramifications I didn't previously consider, such as hospitalozations, Social Security later in life, and other things that the state will make an issue over without a "legal" marriage. He is still insistent. I am having difficulty anyway, as when we were married ten years ago, we both said our vows with the promise we would be monogamous. I'm at a loss for what to do, and almost wonder if he doesn't just want out of the marriage completely. We have three children. Please advise.

1 Responses »

  1. As Salaamu Alaikum Sister,
    I wouldn't suggest you give up your legal formal marriage license. As you already sited you'd be giving away tremendous rights. For what? Let your husband marry the second wife, but keep your legal marriage decree for leverage.

    My husband agreed he and I would be monogamous and married with a legal license. He then married a second wife with an un-official contract. He and his second wife felt and acknowledged the inequality of me having more legal rights than the second.

    My husband then wanted to divorce me legally and remarry without a license so the second wife and I would be equal. How foolish would that have been on my part. ain't going to happen.

    Let him divorce me if he wants because I won't comply with his wishes. I'll still take him to the cleaners (Court System) and get just about everything I want and more, once they find out he's a polygamous.

    Stay married to him legally with license and you've got the power. Divorce him and you become no better than any of the wives that he takes after you. You'll no longer be special-just one of a number of wives. I've never seen the courts bother any body for practicing polygamy unless the man was foolish to get more than on legal marriage license, which is bigamy. Having a marriage license and a secret contract on the side normally is no big deal; the contract on the side usually gets ignored and laughed at-so does the "wive" that enters such an agreement.

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