Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My hymen broke, not able to get married

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah.

I'm a muslim girl of 16 years old. I used to masturbate externally with pants on since I was 12 and it was all around the clitoris and sometimes I go near to my vagina hole.

I have to admit that it was a horrible habit and i've been repenting. I haven't done it for a month now.

I think that my hymen is broken, but I never bleed after masturbation and I haven't inserted anything there.

(excuse me if i'm going to digust you) when I actually took a look in the mirror I can clearly see my vaginal hole and it has an extra tissue inside of the hole not covering the hole completely. it's like there's a hole and an extra tissue inside of it, I don't even know if it is the hymen or it is what it looks like inside of the vagina with no hymen. everytime I take a look in the mirror I see a different thing, It's never the same.

I know that hymen doesn't define your virginity or purity. but since I'm an arab, you can't break your hymen and if you didn't bleed in the first time, (for them) you are not virgin anymore, it could bring shame to my family and I don't want to repay them back all the good things they have done to me like that.

I don't want to get married because of that. I'm not actually a bad person but yeah I do sin and I regret and repent it and i'm trying stop being like that. I don't harm anyone

I don't think of marrying an arab guy because of how close minded they are. and i don't want to fake that I do have a hymen by having a surgery, I have done a sin masturbating and Allah is punishing me I guess. my husband have to take me like what I am.

Can anyone please tell me how does the hymen exactly look like and does your position of sitting cause your vagina to look different everytime? I can't visit the doctor since I'm very embarassed and I don't want to tell my family as they are going to be upset. I get depressed even thinking about it. enlighten me. thanks for reading. answers will be very appreciated.


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10 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaikam

    Sister, what you're describing sounds completely normal; it doesn't sound like you've broken your hymen, as an intact hymen can look like what you're describing. As for the appearance looking different when you look at different times, that's normal too - the appearance of any part of our body will depend on how we're sitting or standing, what angle we're looking at it from, the lighting in the room...

    In short, don't worry about it - you're normal and healthy.

    It's worth remembering that a hymen isn't essential for marriage. Many girls will not have an intact hymen at the time they marry, due to a number of reasons - eg. if it's broken during exercise or physical activity, if they've had to have surgery on that part of their body, if they were born without one... And even with an intact hymen, a girl may not bleed the first time she has sex - the hymen may stretch and break without bleeding. So, this idea that "hymen = virginity / no hymen = shame" doesn't really have a basis in the reality of human biology.

    Focus on strengthening your deen, continuing your education and learning more about Islam. When it comes time for you to look for a husband, look for a man who's pious and of good character, and inshaAllah the two of you can have a happy life together.

    Midnightmoon editor

  2. i read all msgs but em not satisfy em confused or say em very worried plx give me solid answer

    • zee, we cannot tell you if your hymen is broken. Please see a doctor or nurse. And do not post your question anymore please, as you have done so repeatedly.

      Also, don't you realize that these activities you are doing are haram? When you commit sins like these, you must bear the consequences.

      Wael Editor

  3. Asalaamu Alaikum,
    Plz help me as I am really panicking right now. Excuse me for being vulgar but I had an itch down there so I scratched it and rubbed it, which relieved it a little. After a minute or two I suddenly felt a *VERY* sharp pain, and a thick liquid came out. I cried so hard, I'm only 15 I have my whole life ahead of me and I ruined it. Plz anyone who is knowledgeable about his topic -- did I break my hymen ???

    This happened like half an hour ago, but till now I leak liquid from that area every few minutes. Plzzzzz help me my family will kill me if I'm not a virgin !!!!

  4. i, too think i ripped my hymen
    i masturbate rough so i think i did because i felt a continuous sharp pain when i was doing it today
    im scared

    i tried lookiing at it myself but i have no idea if it is intact by the looks of it (obviously dont know what its supposed to 'look' like when the hymen is intact as i have seen no one else's but my own!)

    i think i ripped it helpp

  5. Asslaamualaikam ,
    I need help as I was half asleep my vagina started to itches so I itched it to hard so I felt blood come out as I went to the toilet I wiped it wasn't like a drop or two of blood it was little but in the same time alot for a scratch . When I pee my vagine burns but when I wash it with water its fine it doesn't burn . I'm scared that through the process of itching I broke my hymin I'm 15 years old I'm terrified .

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