Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My Istikhara result was ambiguous…any thoughts?

Assalam u Alaikum,

I have two marriage proposals to consider.

One is from a nice family, my mother's friend vouched for the guy that he "grew up before her eyes," he is "good," and is also good Islamically. The second is from a guy I like who is also good-natured and trying to be a practicing Muslim now.

My mother favors the first one and I the second. After doing Istikhara, at first I thought there were some problems with the second proposal but they will get resolved in a day or two. He was going for a finance job, which is haram, but since I told him it is haram, he will now go for a cost management job.

Another thing: His mother was supposed to call mine for the proposal, but a relatives' problem arose that day so she called the next day. I don't know the details of the rest of his family or what goes on in their house, but it can be a sign of Istikhara. 

How can I make decision? I want to complete my MS degree--it's my dream--but the first proposal's family has some urgency and the second one doesn't, so I'm more inclined towards the second one as I know the guy and that they don't have urgency.

But, truthfully, after saying Istikhara, I don't know what to do.

Please advise me!


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2 Responses »

  1. Go for the First proposal, Once I was on the same exact situation and I knew in my heart that Istekhara result is positive for the 1st proposal but I ignored and Married the other proposal, now I am regretting every single day. In your case too 1st proposal is positive as far as I can see. U knew in ur heart what is right. Allah knows the best.

  2. Asalamualaykum Sister,

    I think you should go with the second proposal, as in the dua, you ask Allah to make it easy for you, and not only are you yourself more inclined towards the second proposal, but Allah has turned him away from his finance job in the direction of something more halal. Remember that you must genuinely like a guy and feel something towards him to succeed in the marriage overall. So I wouldn't just blindly go with your parents' wouldn't be fair to the guy.



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